People are allowed to indulge in innocent activities that make them happy.
It feels like there is so little to be happy about these days.
Everyone needs to grab the joy wherever they can.
So why do others feel the need to try and sully that joy?
Case in point…
Redditor throwaway47757954325 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for calling my brother an ‘insecure, testicle grabbing, chauvinist man-baby’ over his comments about my wife’s makeup?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“That’s the actual quote.”
“I’m still pis*ed as hell but maybe I went too far here.”
“My brother and I are both late 30s.”
“We get along fine most of the time, but my brother doesn’t do well in a lot of social situations.”
“He says things that are inappropriate, gets overly opinionated, yells a lot etc.”
“He just doesn’t seem to understand tact or when to let things go in a casual conversation.”
“Our wives are best friends.”
“They talk almost everyday on FaceTime.”
“My wife is an ex model/actress (local) and very good with makeup.”
“She’s in her mid 30’s, we have 3 kids and she doesn’t wear much makeup anymore.”
‘”But she got some as a gift for Christmas and decided she wanted to get more.”
“Apparently she’s been buying cheap stuff and she wanted to splurge on some good s**t.”
“Anyway, she’s been testing it all out over the last month.”
“Buying more here and there and doing these crazy eyeshadow things – honestly I don’t know what I’m talking about.”
“She looks great all the time.”
“She’s gorgeous without makeup.”
“She’s really talented with it though and she’s having a lot of fun.”
“I tease her a little since she works from home and she’s wearing pajamas but her makeup looks like she’s at a nightclub.”
“I think it’s cute and funny.”
“My brother thinks she’s doing it because she’s cheating or she wants to cheat.”
“He called me this morning to say he’s concerned because he’s seen her on FaceTime and he’s decided she must be posting pictures or sending pics to some dude or multiple dudes.”
“I tried to blow it off and explain that it wasn’t that way.”
“But he got more aggressive about it so I ended up yelling at him and shouting the insecure testicle man baby thing.”
“He’s being ridiculous and needs to mind his own business.”
“But I think I might be the a**hole for blowing up and name calling when he’s probably well intentioned.”
“I want to add too (my mom and brother both asked, maybe other people will): No, I haven’t asked my wife why.”
“She’s recently started wearing more makeup and I’m not going to because I think asking is f**king rude.”
“She’s spending her money on stuff for her face and it’s a creative hobby.”
“I’m not going to be the d*ck that ruins someone’s creative outlet by asking them to justify it or by insinuating there’s a sinister motive behind it.”
“It makes her happy so I assume that’s why she’s doing it.”
“Asking why is dumb and insulting in my opinion.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. When I wear makeup, I do it for me.”
“No my husband or any other man. Me.”
“Many women are the same way.”
“Your brother jumping to ‘she wants to cheat because she is wearing makeup again’ is absolute misogynistic garbage and he needed a dressing down.”
You sound great and seem to really love and appreciate your wife as well as understand what being supportive means.”
“Keep it up.” ~ MistressOfNecropolis
OP responded…
“See this is how I generally assume women are about makeup.”
“Thanks for validating that.”
“I tried to point out to my brother that a lot of what she’s doing isn’t even ‘sexy’ makeup.”
“It’s more… theatrical?”
“I don’t know, it looks like face art to me.”
“Sometimes it’s really pretty.”
“Three days ago she was a drag king with a glitter beard.”‘
“Whatever I just think she’s having fun and I like it.”
Reddit continued…
“Have you made your wife aware that your brother and mom are making these accusations?”
“If not I’d tell her though because she deserves to know before he goes too far and says something to her or his wife tells him.”
“If you don’t tell her now it could be misconstrued that you think the same thing that you didn’t tell her and weren’t open about it.”
“Make her aware you know she’s not doing anything and are on her side but she deserves to know.” ~ italy2986
OP responded…
“Ok so this question opens up a whole can of other stuff.”
“First, my mom doesn’t think she’s cheating at all.”
“She just asked if I knew exactly why the makeup thing.”
“As for my brother, this isn’t the first time he’s thought my wife was cheating for no reason.”
“My brother has some extremely stupid views about women in general.”
“Some of it is where/how we were raised but he must have come up with a bunch of this crap independent of that.”
“To put it frankly, my wife is approximately 1 billion times hotter than I am.”
“We have a ton in common and there’s a million reasons why we’re a good match for each other.”
“But for some reason my brother latched onto this hot-woman-bad thing from the beginning.”
“Which is idiotic because HIS wife is also really good looking.”
“Maybe it’s a fear of his that he’s projecting, I don’t know.”
“But he’s made comments about it in the past. In front of my wife once which did not go well.”
“Anyway, she knows he’s sometimes like this.”
“She usually just calls him, tells him she loves him, she loves me and tells him to stop being an a**.”
“Which is nice of her, but stupid that she’s had to do it more than once.”
“I may tell her but I’m not in a hurry.”
And Reddit went on…
“I’m sure your wife is a strong self sufficient woman and I’m sure she’ll tell you that she doesn’t need you protecting her.”
“She deserves to know what’s being said about her and a right to defend herself.”
“Don’t make her seem weak by keeping her out of the loop.”
“Let her be the strong woman I’m sure she is and I’m sure will finish the argument once and for all.” ~ italy2986
“Good on you OP!”
“I really dislike the mentality that any actions by a woman are motivated by attracting men.”
“Why would I spend $$$ on good makeup to attract a man who can’t tell a cut crease from a winged liner?” ~ sansense
“Granted I don’t know your wife but this reads to me like a woman who once got to play with fashion and make up on a regular basis.”
“And those things make her happy, who then got married, had kids and got consumed by life.”
“And then, by chance and a lucky gift, during this long and stressful year for so many of us, something reminded her of the joy and creativity and sense of self she got from make up.”
“And she decided that she liked feeling all that and decided to rediscover herself again.”
“And tada. Your wife is in make up and pjs.”
“I’m sorry your brother’s wife had to live with such an insecure partner but love that your wife gets someone as respectful and loving as you.”
“You were a little over the top, but you asked him to stop and he wouldn’t back down. NTA.” ~ LimitlessMegan
“It’s strange to me how makeup-as-a-hobby gets misconstrued in so many situations.”
“Like you and so many people have said: it’s an art!”
“That’s true whether you’re doing theatrical-type, face-painty makeup OR just learning how to contour to manipulate facial features.”
“It’s a skill and a creative outlet.”
“It’s a lot like… making your own clothes, actually.”
“But nobody who is learning how to knit a sweater is being accused of trying to show off their sweater puppies so they can cheat on their spouse.” ~ tarynevelyn
“Oh jeez, I’d love/hate to hear what kind of conspiracy theory your brother would come up with about the glitter beard.”
“Men like your brother are just basic misogynists to be honest.”
“They don’t think women have any internal life or interests that don’t feed back into some economy of male attention and wealth.”
“That’s why they try to read everything into what we do like wartime code breakers, they see us as the enemy rather than simply asking and believing the answer.”
“You resorted to ad hominem to someone who (I guess) is trying to look out for you.”
“But still, some people deserve it. NTA.” ~ TheBaddestPatsy
“NTA. You warned him, he didn’t listen and you had to bring out the brotherly big guns to shut him down.”
“I’ve got to say that I’m currently at home all the time too and I’m still wearing full make up almost every day.”
“It gives me a sense of normality and lets me feel less of a shut-in.”
“On the odd day I do go bare faced I definitely feel more blergh by the end of the day.”
“How about arranging an evening one night a week where your wife gets to dazzle you with her make up skills?”
“You deal with the kids and get them to bed early while she gets made up/puts on a nice dress before sitting down to a meal together.”
“It doesn’t even matter if you get a takeout delivery, just have some time when the lights are low.”
“The music is smooth and suitable for a slow dance around the living room and she gets to feel like a beautiful woman you know she is rather than just a mum who is stuck inside all day.” ~ MadamKitsune
Well OP, Reddit understands your reaction.
Hopefully this situation doesn’t fester.
Maybe a hard, honest, calm chat is needed.
Good luck.