Family financial problems can be a fraught situation.
But for one young woman on Reddit, things were made even worse in her family when her brother’s live-in girlfriend repeatedly suggested she sell her treasured comic book collection to help out the family.
The Original Poster, who goes by Beautiful-Guava-9792 on the site, wasn’t sure about how she’d handled the conflict. So she went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.
OP asked:
“AITA for choosing Spiderman over a real person?”
She explained:
“I (18F[emale]) have a huge Spider-Man comicbook collection. It is my most prized treasure for 3 reasons.”
“1. I love Spider-Man.”
“2. Reading those comicbooks were the happiest memories from my childhood.”
“3. They were a gift from my grandpa. He couldn’t read English (could speak) so I would read it out loud to him and we would enjoy the comics together.”
“Last year, my brother (22M[ale]) brought home his gf (21F[emale]), Abby. Abby is an international student and she can’t go home.”
“She has no other friends and is low on money so she lives with us, without paying. We were never well off and now our finances are worse because we’re paying for a whole other person.”
“Everyone in my family works now, including my younger brother (16M). Everyone except Abby.”
“Why? Because ‘college is too busy.’ However, she’s always hogging Netflix and our entire page has turned into Korean shows.”
“Despite everyone working, our finances are still bad and Abby started saying that I should sell my collection. Everyone in the family knows why I would never do that and has explained to her which she said I was being childish and comic books were for kids.”
“Yesterday, our family had a meeting to discuss my mom working longer hours, to which Abby said that she wouldn’t need to if I just grew up and sold my comicbooks. I interjected that my mom wouldn’t need to if Abby acctually paid us.”
“This angered her and caused a fight and she ended up crying and said she was going to leave the house and started packing her bags.”
“This morning, my older brother told me to apologize. He said that she didn’t have anywhere else to go and I should be more considerate.”
“I didn’t care. He looked me in the eye and asked if I was really going to choose Spider-Man over a real person.”
“AITA for choosing Spider-Man?”
Redditors were then asked to judge who is in the wrong in this situation using the following acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And they were pretty firmly on OP’s side on this one.
“NTA. Tell your brother that he can sell off HIS stuff if it’s so important to him.”
“Abby isn’t your GF or your responsibility. If she’s old enough to go to college in a different country, she’s old enough to get a job and pay some rent.”
“Also, change the doorknob on your bedroom to one that needs a key and keep it locked. Abby sounds like she’s the type of person to steal your stuff and sell it behind your back.” –Shozurei
“NTA. I agree. Lock up your stuff, and you need to talk with your mom and explain this situation isn’t workable and that this girl needs to get a job. Tell your brother you’re done with this situation.”
“Switch off Netflix for her. Limit her internet access. Tell her when she starts working and contributing, she can enjoy the ‘perks’ that come with that.” –crystallz2000
“Let’s frame it another way: are you going to choose your treasured, sentimental items over supplementing your brother’s gf’s life when she is the only one not working? Yes, and you should. NTA” –Legitimate-Essay221
“This woman doesn’t contribute to the household financially. She doesn’t work, and sounds like she mooches off of the hard work of everyone else who lives there.”
“That doesn’t stop her from giving her 5 cents on what others should do to contribute more.”
“She has zero say in OP’s personal property, and the fact that she didnt accept ‘no’ the first time, resulted in OP having to get more direct in their response.”
“OP didn’t choose a comic book over a person. OP just didn’t allow said person to keep trampling her boundaries.” –Electrical-Date-3951
“OP should only refer to her as Mooch. And only mooch.”
“Because that’s exactly what she is. She contributes zero to the household but has the audacity to let everyone know what OP should do.”
“Abby the mooch~” –Emmiburr
“I would also point out that even if OP sold all her comics that money is unlikely to last long as they’re not mint condition and likely won’t fetch a high price, so the argument that she should sell it is really flawed and only gains a momentary reprieve.”
“It’s not a solution whatever way you look at it.” –boykop
“NTA. I’m an international student too and working is hard for us because we do not get a visa for work and are not allowed to work outside of the university. Many universities do not offer jobs on breaks.”
“That being said we come on the premise that we saved up enough money to live for the entirety of our stay in the foreign country. Work should really be only a last resort and even so we are not allowed to work more than 20 hours a week. This is federal law.”
“That being said your belongings are your own and you are not obligated to part from something even if it’s not sentimental to support a person that has nothing to do with you and obviously doesn’t care about the feelings attached to it.” –Fearless-Fruit-5048
“NTA- Abby sounds very entitled. If she didn’t meet your brother what would she do?”
“She’d have no option but to work. But it really sounds like she’s taking advantage of the situation and your brother.”
“How long were your brother and her dating before she moved in?”
“In my experience international students had options for on campus housing. Something doesn’t add up.”
“Why would she be going to school internationally if she can’t afford to live where she’s going to school?” –Ok-Albatross6794
“NTA. Your brother’s girlfriend is a mooch.”
“I managed a student housing complex with many international students for many years.”
“For international students to come to Canada or the US, they have to show they have money to support themselves. And frankly, many come from very wealthy families.”
“That fact that she has ‘no money’ is very odd. What has she done with her money?”
“Is she gambling it, spending it on a shopping addiction? I’d be inclined to call her parents.”
“You would be surprised what will happen then!”
“If there was a genuine issue at home, the university or college will work to try to find them a job within their student visa work permit.”
“Boot the mooch out. She has other options.” — BeachBookBeer
“As a foreign exchange student Abby’s parents are paying for her tuition, accommodation & living costs so Abby has money she’s just not paying her way like she is supposed to.”
“I would report her to the University she attends & any other authority.”
“I agree, tell your brother that if he wants his freeloading GF to stay either she starts paying her way or he pays for her, she isn’t your responsibility.” — Competitive_Tea2413
“NTA, and lock up your Spiderpersons, or stash them at a trusted relative’s house without telling her.”
“I assume her not being able to go home is a COVID thing. But when our kid went abroad to study for a year, we had to sign all sorts of paperwork proving (a) that they had sufficient funds to carry them through the end of their stay (including bank statements), and (b) they would be coming home no later than a set time.” — FoolishStone
“NTA. It might be worth pointing out to her that comic books are often not worth much money in resell value. Unless you have some prime collectables, you could be looking at a couple hundred bucks, maybe.”
“And that’s depending on condition and what local shops are willing to buy. The digital market has decreased their value, and the spectator boom played its role too.”
“This tactic could be useful if she’s going off of the idea that old comics equal money. Now, if you have a set that you KNOW is worth money, you should take precautions.”
“And emphasize to her (and your brother) that these are not simply things to you. This is a well curated collection with strong ties to your grandfather.”
“She’s not asking you to sell your comics, she’s asking you to sell mementos.” — MadWitchLibrarian
“NTA. It’s Abby’s fault she doesn’t have anywhere else to go; what was her plan if she hadn’t met your brother?”
“For someone who would evidently be on the street if not for your family, she sure is over-entitled. And there should be no reason your mom should work longer hours to support Abby.”
“Abby can work. Or ask her own parents to send money. And it’s no surprise that she has no friends.” — teachprof
“I’m sorry but what?”
“Your brother brought in a homeless college student/friend that can’t go home- presumably because of the pandemic. Everyone else in the house is working, except for Abby and her reason is ‘college is too busy’?”
“Uh No. Is she studying to be a doctor? A lawyer? And besides classes also has an internship?”
“I mean the way it sounds is that she’s only a basic college student with the usual course load. Many MANY college students work at the very least PART TIME while carrying a full course load.”
“She’s a free loader. She should be out of your family’s home.”
“She can either find a hostel, or a dorm room or an apartment with other students. Your older brother is an a** for bringing this chick home and dumping her entitled self on your family.” — Substantial-Gain-903
“NTA… WTF? I’m an international student student too, majoring in physics and mathematics in a top 10 university and I work.”
“You can find a job on campus and make some money. While is not enough on its own, it’s something for the love of god.”
“Yeah no, she should work instead of behaving like a parasite. Take care of your collection, she could sell it behind your back.” — Spirited-Water-6531
“NTA. Her asking you to sell something sentimental to you is inappropriate and wrong. She obviously has some weird beef.”
“That being said it seems like you also have some beef with her. Maybe its just because she hurt your feelings with the comic collection, which makes sense.”
“But it seems like there is some more going on there that I encourage you to look into so as to try and make a healthy living situation between you all.” — zagoing
“NTA. You’re not choosing Spider-Man over Abby, you’re choosing yourself over Abby, which you have every right to do.”
“She’s not your girlfriend, and you didn’t invite her to live rent free in your home. She has no right AT ALL to suggest or insist that you sacrifice your cherished possessions to bankroll her freeloading.”
“She or your brother are responsible for making the monetary sacrifices to allow her to live rent free. Most college students also work part-time jobs.”
“It’s not like you’re asking her to sell a kidney. If she wants to be part of the family dynamic, she needs to start contributing, instead of expecting everyone else to support her.” — Creatureteacher86150
“NTA. Your family needs to get its priorities straight.”
“Why is your brother’s girlfriend allowed to harass you about selling your comics collection, yet no one bothers her about contributing financially?”
“This really comes down to your parents, to enforce your boundaries about your collection and to ensure that everyone in the household is contributing in some mutually agreed way.” — puppyfarts99
Hopefully OP and her family can find a peacable way through this.