We all hope that our loved ones will find someone who is perfect for them, and it’s hard to see when it isn’t working out for them.
It’s worse when we try to help and they don’t want to hear it, admitted the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor RoundLeague8786 felt inclined to reach out to his brother when he became suspicious of his brother’s girlfriend’s motives.
But when his brother lashed out at him, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he should have stayed quiet.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for telling my brother that his girlfriend is scamming him?”
The OP’s brother met someone he wanted to date.
“My brother (32 [Male]) and I (29 [Female]) are very close. We started a business together a few years ago and it’s going far better than we expected. As a consequence, he makes a lot of money.”
“One year ago, he met a 28-year-old girl. She told him she was a high-paid executive in a famous company.”
“He told me he wanted to date a woman with ambition and a successful career because he wanted them to be on an equal step.”
“He fell deeply in love with her. I met her not long after and she was funny and sweet so we got along great.”
The woman then had to leave her job.
“My brother moved in with her, but just before it happened, she said she was sick and had to quit her job.”
“After that, he paid for every health appointment to try to diagnose her because she has no savings.”
“He also is the only provider of their house since she doesn’t work anymore.”
“She loves to buy expensive items with his card. It has been going on for 7 months and the doctors said they couldn’t find anything.”
The OP was suspicious.
“These past few months, I kept thinking about how it’s weird she has no savings (even though she is supposed to have had a big salary), and he never met anybody from her work.”
“There is no medical proof that she is sick.”
“Anyway they went to my house for dinner and she told me she was still feeling too ill to work.”
“20 minutes later she was talking about the new coat she bought (with his money) and I made a comment about how she wasn’t too sick to shop.”
“My brother was very upset and got up to talk to me.”
“I told him my concern that she was a scammer and he said I was an a**hole for insulting her and thinking she didn’t love him.”
“They left and he refuses to talk to me anymore. I don’t know if I should apologize.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some advised the OP to watch out for his business.
“NTA, and make sure you have all the details about ownership of your business in writing, with nothing left open to interpretation. If she is scamming him, you’re at risk because of the joint business.” – koifishyfishy
“OP has a joint business with him, so she is totally justified in hiring a PI and finding out her employment history (and anything else that may be shady – like being a 3-times widow).”
“It may not change her brother’s feelings for her, but at least OP will have some arguments in making sure their company is protected. (Should probably consult with a lawyer, too.) NTA !” – Corfiz74
“OP can’t just leave him to his own devices because of the joint business. OP needs to plan how he can protect his share of the business against her. Or failing that, getting out of the business.”
“Of course OP also needs to collect as much information as possible about this con artist. Perhaps even hire a private investigator. It probably won’t do any good, as his brother is so thoroughly in the love fog that he has ignored countless red flags over the past several months. But perhaps it might plant some seeds of doubt about her.” – Cristoff13
Others advised seeking out a background check or job reference.
“NTA. OP you need to run a background check on her, if you have the name she gave for her former business you can always call and ask if she worked there, pretend you are checking a reference.”
“Obviously do not tell your brother you are doing this unless something comes up because he will go ballistic, possibly blowing up the business. Normally I would not advocate for doing something like this, but everything is coming up very suspicious.” – Acceptable_Day6086
“I think OP should have held her tongue until she had proof. Personally I’d start with her LinkedIn profile and see if you can make contact with anyone who appears to have worked with her in the past.”
“Pretend you’re calling for a reference. If they act confused and don’t know who she is, you have your answer.” – Bloodrayna
“This is a classic scam. She will drain all his money for luxury items that are easy to pawn. If he is tapped out she will vanish in thin air and do it to the next guy.”
“Let me guess she is waaaay out of his league in the looks department? And is she a social butterfly while he is not?”
“The only thing you can do is to make sure he can’t take money or take out a loan for the company. Because he will run out and get desperate.” – ReasonableFront2513
“I get your suspicion and wanting to protect your brother. But do you have any more to go on than your suspicion? Have you googled her, checked her social media?”
“Asked her about her previous job and company, in small talk or something?” – MSAutarkia
While the brother was not ready for the feedback, the subReddit insisted the OP was right to mention his concerns. Starting with a background check and securing their business, the subReddit insisted the OP cover for themselves, and their brother, before it was too late.