We’ve all had a nickname that we didn’t love.
More often than not, a nickname that often highlights a part of our appearance or personality that we might feel insecure over.
Of course, most of us are also guilty of giving nicknames to loved ones that others might find bizarre.
Even if that doesn’t stop us from using them in public.
Redditor was recently on a vacation with her family, including her sister-in-law (SIL).
During this vacation, the original poster (OP) heard her SIL address her husband by a rather peculiar nickname.
While the OP initially didn’t think much of this, they were a bit more taken aback when she heard her SIL use this same nickname on her own husband.
Leading her to wonder if there was more going on that the OP wasn’t aware of.
Wondering if she had anything to worry about, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for asking my SIL not to call my husband ‘Daddy’.”
The OP explained why she didn’t appreciate the nickname her SIL addressed her husband by:
“My husband (53, M[ale]) and I (40 F[emale]) have been married for two years.”
“I’m his second wife and we have no kids together, but he has one (28 F[emale]) from his previous marriage.”
“His parents have a beach house that everyone spends time at and we’re usually all there around the same time due to school break schedules.”
“My SIL (50f F[emale]) and BIL 50m (husbands brother) were there, along with my husband and I and a few other people including my husband’s kid (28 F).”
“We were all sitting around the table drinking and playing games when my SIL starts calling her husband ‘Daddy’.”
“Understandable, they’ve got two kids together, she probably uses this term around their house.”
“A few minutes go by, and I hear her yelling at MY husband, calling him ‘Daddy’ trying to get his attention.”
“I immediately mention to her that I find that weird and to please not call him that.”
“Later I find out through my husbands daughter (28 F) that on a different occasion SIL was talking to (daughter 28 F) and said ‘I love (OP) but your dad, he’s my person’.”
“Should I confront SIL and ask her to clarify what she means by using these terms?”
“AITA for thinking something untoward is going through SIL’s mind?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for feeling uncomfortable with her SIL calling her husband “daddy”.
Not only did everyone agree that the OP was more than justified to be concerned about her SIL’s motives, but many felt that it was creepy enough that her SIL would call her own husband “daddy” as well:
“NTA.”
“Have you asked your husband why she would do that?”
“This sounds like an affair happening or she’s hoping for one.”- wishingforarainyday
“The hell?!”
“NTA.”
“That’s just gross and she needs to back way off.”- Noodlebat83
“NTA, her ‘person’ should be her husband.”
“Your husband is your person.”- RefrigeratorRare4463
“NTA.”
“But the question is what’s your BIL’s opinion about this?”- Sea-Duck2400
“SIL is entirely inappropriate.”
“I’m surprised your BIL doesn’t have an issue with her behavior.”
“NTA.”- Individual_Metal_983
“That’s such a weird thing for a woman to say to her niece, essentially that she’s with the wrong brother.”
“I can understand calling your partner Mummy or Daddy when talking to the kids, who clearly are not going to refer to their parents by the first names, but saying that about anyone else is strange.”
“That’s two big things are are ick.”
“Time for some serious boundaries, and your husband needs to be firmly on your side and making sure this happens.”
“NTA.”
“shivers.”- Only-Breadfruit-6108
“NTA.”
“Calling her husband’s brother daddy is weird.”- GingerWhoDrinksTea
“Yikes.”
“NTA.”
“But your husband needs to set these boundaries, not you.”- Mean_Nun
“NTA.”
“Your SIL is just bleurgh.”
“That is creepy, pick me girl behavior.”- Maelienydd_Cymru
“NTA.”
“Ew, no, that’s weird to be doing so publicly in general when no infants are involved learning to talk and identify people, and definitely not okay when referring to people who are not your romantic counterpart.”- HatesOnions
“NTA.”
“That’s very odd, and I would argue unacceptable behavior.”
“This lady is married to OPs brother, but insists that OPs husband is ‘her person’?”
“Nah, you’re not an AH for calling that out.”
“That IS weird.”- HammerOn57
“Better yet tell your husband to say, ‘Go to your room. You are grounded’ everytime she calls him daddy.”
“That’s what dad’s do.”
“Discipline inappropriate behaviour.”
“NTA.”- Miserable_Smoke585
“Calling your own spouse mommy or daddy is creepy IMO, but calling someone else’s that is just wrong.”
“Eeeew And the impression that’s giving is even worse.”
“NTA.”- Active_Palpitation71
“NTA.”
“Husband MUST address this next time it happens.”- No_Mention3516
“NTA.”
“Does she refer to him as daddy outside of the drinking, she could be attracted to him.”
“The craziest part is she is married, openly admitting it to her daughter and even saying it around all of you.”- Supernova-Max
“NTA.”
“This sounds like something your husband should be taking care of.”
“Unless he enjoys the attention.”
“In that case you’ll need to sort that out.”
“Also, her husband should probably say something about this too.”
“This whole situations sounds weird and there’s nothing worse than walking into a partners family and find out their all a bunch of weirdos.”- PunchBeard
“NTA.”
“I think SIL wants your husband, you should put a stop to that.”
“Good on your husbands kid, (daughter, 28 F[emale]) for actually telling you this.”
“She (28 F[emale]) is a real one.”- GhostlyJax
“Maybe just go to your husband about this and let him talk to her or his brother to squash this.”
“It’s better that he says it makes him uncomfortable than for his wife to say it.”
“I just feel if you do it’ll get twisted on to you whereas if he does hopefully it becomes a non-issue moving forward.”
“If she does it again, then I understand you saying something.”
“NTA.”- kcbrand5
“I read WAY too much smut to EVER say the word ‘daddy” to anyone.”
“NTA.”- Mina_Girl
“Tell your husband not to respond to ‘Daddy’ because obviously she’s talking to her own husband and not him.”
“That he needs to stop her because your comfort should matter to your husband.”
“When he starts to reply or get X for her out of habit, intervene, saying that’s not his name and don’t let him go do X or reply until she says his name.”
“Stare her down until she says his name.”
“If she gives some crap its a habit… tell her to break it.”
“Your husband’s name is Jim and to use it.”
“Pounce on her every time.”
“If she says she didn’t mean anything by it…. tell her that’s still not his name, it’s Jim.”
“Pounce every time.”
“No need to have a conversation with her regarding what she meant.”
“She may even lie, so why bother.”
“Stop your husband every time.”
“Pounce on her every time.”
“It works.”
“NTA.”- Outrageous-forest
There were a select few, however, who gave the OP’s SIL the benefit of the doubt, wondering her using the term “daddy” might be a cultural misunderstanding, even if they still felt the OP’s suspicions were justified:
“NAH.”
“I think it’s possible there is a cultural conflict here.”
“In my area of the world it is completely nonsexual to refer to an adult human male who has children as ‘daddy’.”
“Even in adult to adult conversations.”
“It’s possible that SIL’s second conversation with your daughter was referring to the way you interpreted her conversation (and she could tell you were unhappy), but wasn’t trying to claim your husband in a sexual way.”
“She was saying, ‘kid, your mom is nice and all but your dad, he is easier to communicate with’.”
“I would consider letting it go on the SIL front and talking to your husband about how you feel.”
“Neither linguistic choice is wrong but for clarity, you and your husband need to agree on what your family culture should be.”
“And what he agrees to be called or not.”
“He can say something to shut this down much more easily than you can.”
“In my experience if a guy doesn’t want to be called daddy, he can say something back like, ‘Girl, don’t call me daddy’, and that’s the end of it he just has his name from then on.”
“Equate it with a mildly demeaning term for her (again, might vary, but in my circle calling an adult human female ‘girl’ is mildly rude, but isn’t going to cause a major fight) and she should stop.”-Upbeat_Weird_7321
“Daddy” is simply a bizarre nickname for the OP’s SIL to give her husband.
The fact that she referred to him by that nickname, and was then heard claiming he was “her person” makes things even more strange.
Making it completely understandable that the inappropriate choice of nickname was probably the least of the OP’s problems with her SIL.