People have been enjoying amusement parks and theme parks—an amusement park with a central theme—since the late 16th century.
The world’s oldest amusement park—Bakken (“The Hill”)—opened in Europe in 1583. It is located north of Copenhagen in Klampenborg, Denmark.
Today the most famous theme park franchise is undoubtedly Disney.
In 2018 alone, the company’s theme parks hosted over 157.3 million guests at its six locations: Disneyland California, Disney World Florida, Disneyland Paris, Tokyo Disney, Shanghai Disney and Hong Kong Disneyland.
So when an aunt asked if she could sponsor a week long Disney trip for herself and her niece, she thought it would be an easy yes from her brother and sister-in-law.
A trip to a Disney park is a bucket list item for many people worldwide.
But when unexpected complications led her to rescind the offer, she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
CoolBear5993 asked:
“AITA for refusing to pay for sister-in-law (SIL) and cancelling the vacation?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I (female, 28) have a great relationship with my niece Ava (female, 9). She loves me and I love her. She has no issue staying with me for days on end.”
“So I asked my brother if I can take her on a trip with me, to Disney, for a week. I knew she would love it since we watch Disney movies together all the time.”
“He wanted me to ask SIL. Definitely. She said they will let Ava go if SIL can come along with.”
“I asked her if it was because she didn’t trust me. SIL said no, she just wanted to come with.”
“I told SIL she can come along with as long as she pays her way. We can all share the room, so she will have to get tickets (airplane) and her own park ticket.”
“She said she didn’t have money for it and since I don’t have kids or family, and have enough income, I should pay for her to come too.”
“I didn’t like it.”
“Technically, I have the money. But I don’t like the way she said it and I have my own financial plans.”
“I told her I won’t pay for her. She said she won’t let Ava go.”
“Though disappointed, I cancelled the idea. My brother called me next day asking why I cancelled the trip, and Ava was looking forward to it.”
“I didn’t tell [Ava] about the trip.”
“I told him my conversation with SIL. He was upset with SIL but didn’t have money to pay for her.”
“He asked if I would cover. I said no, just on the principle. I felt SIL was forcing my hand and I didn’t like it.”
“Now my brother is calling me AH for refusing to cover SIL and cancelling a vacation I promised Ava.”
“I didn’t promise Ava.”
“AITA?”
Redditors weighed in on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the aunt was not the a**hole (NTA).
Some took issue with the sister-in-law’s expectations.
“NTA. Unfortunately they sound like the kind of manipulators who will use this to poison your relationship with Ava.”
“But you were totally in the right to not pay for SIL , for her to expect you to pay for her as well as Ava is not the thinking of loving parents more like the thoughts of chancers on the make for a free holiday.” ~ stattest
“Tell SIL you’ve decided to take Ava camping for a few days instead and SIL can tag along for that for quality time with Ava.”
“Bet you SIL’s answer is going to be a big ‘f*ck no’, because she’s only interested in free Disney. NTA.” ~ Only-Ingenuity7889
“NTA. The sheer audacity to demand her trip be paid.”
“She never had a Disney trip before or something? She’s been missing this her whole life and saw an opportunity for a free ride?”
“So entitled. It’s too bad you couldn’t get a trip with Ava this time but I hope you can spend more time with her in the future without SIL imposing and mooching.” ~ numberonebuddy
“NTA. Holding your own kid hostage for a free vacation ransom is a new kind of low, and your brother doubling down on that is doubly despicable.” ~ Nihilophile
They also didn’t care for her comments about the OP’s financial obligations.
“It’s not relevant, if OP has kids or not. It’s not relevant, if OP has ‘enough income’ or not.”
“Maybe, OP uses most of her income to save for buying a house or for future stuff. Somehow or other, OP made a reasonable offer which she can accept or decline.”
“Or maybe ‘Hmmm… is there any room where you can help me a bit, maybe we can split the cost?’ just like normal people do to negotiate.”
“Or suggest to postpone the trip half a year or so, so she can save up the money.” ~ Z4-Driver
“There’s a anti-childfree attitude here that OP isn’t really ‘family’ since she doesn’t have kids of her own that’s adding to the entitlement.”
“$100 that if she did pay for mom to go, mom would whisk the kid away and cut OP out of most of the trip so she can ‘spend time with her family’.” ~ onmyfifthcupofcoffee
“Aunt: ‘I would like to pay for Ava’s college education’.”
“Mom: ‘Oh, that would be great but only if you pay for mine too? Also room and board?'” ~ WetNSack
Others felt the real harm was the parents telling their daughter about the trip.
“NTA. You need to make it VERY clear to your brother that you NEVER told Ava about the trip. If she was told, it was a manipulation tactic by SIL to try to get you to cave.”
“Either that or SIL is lying about Ava knowing and now being disappointed.”
“You don’t owe SIL a free vacation. I can’t imagine the amount of spite it takes to not allow your child to go on a vacation with a trusted adult because YOU can’t afford that vacation.”
“SIL sounds like an absolutely miserable, petty person.” ~ NorthernLitUp
“NTA. First, you didn’t tell Ava about the trip, so either brother and SIL are lying about Ava being upset (when she doesn’t know about it), or they told her about the trip and now she really IS upset.”
“I totally understand a parent wanting to accompany their 9-year-old on a trip, but if brother wants you to include SIL on a trip that she wasn’t invited on, then they can foot the bill.”
“Methinks SIL’s vested interest in going on the trip had to do more with getting a freebie vacay rather than accompanying her daughter.” ~ FloMoJoeBlow
“I am so confused. I have 2 child free sisters and I would never try to dictate like this SIL tried to do.”
“My sisters are CF because they have other things they’d rather spend their money on and IT IS THEIR MONEY so they get to choose.”
“OP had a great dream that didn’t work out. The parents didn’t trust her or they just wanted to use her as a free trip?”
“OP is not required to fund another adult’s vacation. Let’s respect that: OP is not required to fund another adult’s vacation.”
“According to OP the child only knows about the trip to Disney and is disappointed about the lack of Disney because the parents (not OP) told them about the trip they couldn’t afford.”
“I get not being able to afford stuff, my sister works with Disney and gets for real benefits (free admission and stuff like that, not the major cost but still important!).”
“I’ve used them for my friends and never for me. Why? We can’t afford the trip. End of story.”
“My sisters are both child free and I could ask for help but I chose to have these children so we vacation here. We do stuff here.”
“It is no one else’s responsibility to provide my children vacations.”
“OP, you wanted to do a kind thing for your niece and are absolutely NTA and I’m sorry your family is so sh*tty!” ~ Gullible-Tooth-8478
However a few felt there was no malicious intent on anyone’s part.
“NAH. You don’t have to pay for your SIL, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable that a mother would want to go on a special trip with her daughter regardless of whether or not she can afford it.”
“I think the more reasonable thing here would be to offer to do the trip in a year, allowing SIL a year to save up for her airfare and Disney tickets. But even if you don’t want to do that, you’re not the a**hole either.” ~ WriterSnow
“NAH. As a mom who’s taking my daughter to Disney this year, I would never want to miss her Disney trip.”
“However, it is expensive, so it’s not something I could pull together at the last minute. They asked, you said no, and that should be that.” ~ Piaffe_zip16
While it would have been nice for the aunt to spend a week at Disney with her niece, perhaps this is an experience that should be left to the parents.
But if the parents don’t have the financial means to go, should they have graciously accepted the OP’s offer?
What do you think?