For some people, being childfree is a choice that they make and feel is best for them. Others can choose to have children and enjoy that experience as well.
But sometimes these mentalities can clash. Redditor userthrowaway21-3 is childfree and made some comments that upset her sister. Now her sister won’t talk to her.
Was the original poster (OP) wrong? To figure it out, she asked the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit about what went down.
OP asked the Reddit board:
“AITA for accidentally upsetting my niece by saying her mom’s life would be better if she wasn’t born?”
She explained her situation:
“To summarize, I (32F[emale]) got into an argument over something ridiculous and now everyone’s mad at me.”
“When my sister (26F) was 17, she got pregnant and had a baby girl. Obviously since she was young, she wasn’t exactly ready to raise a kid, but my family did the best we could to help her out.”
“She currently has a stable job and is living with her child and the child’s father in their own apartment. The issue is that since she had the baby so young, she never got to really experience her life.”
“I’m childfree and am always enjoying new life experiences and I know my sister is jealous of me for it.”
“The other day I came over for her daughter’s birthday party and we were talking about her as a baby. At one point we started to argue about how she was raised and I said, ‘Don’t you ever think your life would’ve been better if she had never been born?’”
“It turns out her daughter was in earshot of this so she heard everything and got really upset. My sister got defensive and said that her child was the best thing to ever happen to her, called me an AH, and kicked me out of the party. She blocked my number and won’t talk to me at all now.”
“My mom is saying I should apologize but my dad agrees with me on this, and says my sister was overreacting. Maybe I was a bit too aggressive when I said it but I know what I said is true.”
“AITA for what I did?”
OP shared her opinion with her sister, and her sister was understandably upset. But does that mean OP was a jerk?
Internet strangers chimed in and laid judgement on OP.
This was done by including one of the following in their comment:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Almost all the comments agreed that OP was wrong. Not just in disagreeing with the outlook of her sister, but the sentiment, especially when accidentally shared with her young niece, is horrific.
The commenters agreed that OP was the one wrong.
“YTA. Holy sh** I was eager to read this thinking ‘come on now, let’s find out what the context is before jumping to a conclusion.’”
“But nope, 100% you are a certified, grade a, worst of the worst a**hole.”
“It was the kids birthday party… THE KIDS BIRTHDAY PARTY!!! Even if the kid wasn’t within ear shot that’s not ok to say.”
“I would suggest you apologise but part of me thinks your sister and her family is better off with no contact from you.” – Santos_Dude
“I agree with all of this. Why was OP even arguing about how her niece was raised at the child’s birthday party? It so inappropriate.”
“YTA, OP. So much that I’m shocked you even had to ask.” – niveasoftcomment
“YTA I hate peoples who think that people who took different paths in life are inherently unhappier or less fulfilled than the path they chose. Everyone has a different path and things work out differently.”
“It seems that your sister is happy, she has a wonderful daughter and a nice family unit. And yet you say out of the gate you think she is jealous?”
“This is just as bad as if your sister said you were lonely and unfulfilled because you are child free. Everyone has their own path.”
“It’s very petty of you to think this, let alone say it out loud, let alone to your sister, let alone at her daughters birthday party! Your self absorption and lack of empathy is off the charts.” – HeatherAnne1975
“Right? One takeaway from this is that OP seems to think she’s somehow superior for not having kids (which seems common in some aggressively CF people) and that her sister MUST be jealous of her.”
“Like at what point is OP gonna realize she’s a sad narcissist?” – Anxious_Tension_9567
“YTA. What a hurtful comment for your niece to overhear. You owe her and her mother an apology.”
“She made life decisions that you might not have done, but it’s condescending and incredibly rude for you to make assumptions about her feelings and regrets.” – frendly9876
OP’s comments were to bad it actually got people to insist that she apologize to her sister.
“YTA words carry weight, and planting seeds like that in someone’s mind (especially the daughter’s mind and sense of self and worth) can be poisonous.”
“Your sister will have to do damage control for these negative thoughts and echoes you’ve created for a long time. Apologize.” – Ir0npunk
“YTA – And so is your dad. Apologize to your sister AND your niece.” – HowardProject
“YTA. That definitely shouldn’t have been said when the daughter was present, let alone within earshot even if it was an accident.”
“It’s also a touchy subject, yes it may be true that her life might have been different, and financially easier, but ‘better’ is a matter of opinion.”
“I’d say OP should give an apology to both her sister and her niece.” – aspenwrites
“I’m going to say your parents are the AH because they didn’t teach you that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
“YTA big time! APOLOGIZE.” – pinkbutterfly26
OP should learn that not everyone experiences and gains joy from the same things. It’s kinder to let them live their lives.