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Redditor Refuses To Cook For Their Hypercritical In-Laws Because They ‘Don’t Cook For Ungrateful People’

Cooking for picky people is not a task for the faint of heart. Especially, when those people are your in-laws.

In these cases it’s just easier to find a good restaurant and order take out.

Redditor Vashiroe encountered this very issue with their in-laws. So they turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.

They asked:

“AITA for telling my ILs I’ll never cook for them because I don’t cook for ungrateful people?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My in-laws (IL) are big food people. They’re also the kind of people who complain about food they get behind the cook’s back.”

“I always knew this about my ILs, my husband warned me, told me he had told them to knock it off before but they won’t, so he refuses to engage.”

“They are that ungrateful that when my GMIL (grandmother in-law) died, his family were all bitching about the food a neighbor brought out to them (casserole, salad, sandwiches, pizzas) and saying how bland or meh the food was.”

“The food was tasty and there wasn’t a damn thing wrong with it but that’s just them. They never talk like that about each other’s food. But as an IL you’re not exactly exempt from criticism.”

“Another time they were at a neighborhood BBQ and complained about the stuff other people brought. Even saying something about food a 12 year old had prepared (they made little skewers) and saying it was ‘so obviously a child’s cooking’ meaning ‘nothing special’ as they put it.”

Then, they wanted OP to cook.

“So anyway, my SIL had her youngest’s Christening recently.”

“She had hired a caterer and they cancelled at the last minute (workers came down with Covid). They ended up asking me if I would help get food together for it. I said no.”

“My husband told them we were busy and didn’t have the time for it. SIL said I usually have chill Saturdays and could easily prepare something.”

“He spoke to them and said in no uncertain terms did I owe them food.”

“What followed was they stopped by while he was working and I was home and asking me to make a couple of pizzas for the Christening party. I told them they already had their answer.”

“They told me I could get some money thrown my way for it. I told them even if they paid me double the standard price of two pizzas I still wouldn’t cook for them with how they treat food made by other people.”

“They told me being part of the family means having to sometime and I said I would never cook for them because I don’t cook for ungrateful people.”

“They’re pissed and a few of them called me an asshole, my husband told me they were acting like kids and I was fine.”

“Part of me feels like TA because I know how they are and I engaged with them.”


Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.


“Stand your ground. They sound awful. You’re completely right- there’s no point making anything when you already know they’ll criticize it.”

“Part of me wonders if that’s why the caterer cancelled- she knew she’d get a bad review from them!” ~ Sleepy_felines

“This. They are going to complain about it so why make it. If you took the money they’d feel more entitled to complain.”

“Basically they are going to complain if OP does it and complain when OP doesn’t so why bother putting in the effort.” ~ I-Hate-Palestine

“I hate people who complain about food but will still eat them. Thats just looking for something to pick on.” ~ DaokoXD

“They might have looked forward to dissect and criticize OP’s delicious food after shoveling it into the mouths underneath their upturned noses. Especially if OP didn’t cook for them before and they believe they only are untouchable and the best cooks.” ~ Fettnaepfchen

“I’m also curious: if they had time to show up at OP’s doorstep and argue about some pizza’s, why didn’t they have time to make it themselves?”

“They could probably just as quickly have gone to a grocery store instead of to OP’s house to pick up the (pre-sliced) ingredients and pre-made dough and whipped them up at home in just a matter of minutes.”

“So yeah, NTA.” ~ LadyBake82

Redditors shared their in-laws’ horror stories.

“My in-laws moved into a condo near us and wanted my house cleaner to work for them. MIL is NEVER happy and a total PIA… plus my housecleaner is legit family to us, we have “therapy” hour on the porch together when she’s here. I told her either tell my MIL no or quadruple her price for the hassle.” ~ FiestyMum

“‘They are that ungrateful that when my GMIL (grandmother in-law) died, his family were all bitching about the food a neighbor brought out to them (casserole, salad, sandwiches, pizzas) and saying how bland or meh the food was.'”

“This part makes me feel so angry and insane. When my late grandfather had his first cancer bout, a family friend made chicken noodle soup in bulk for him. He didn’t like chicken noodle soup, so he offered it up to the rest of the family, knowing that I do like chicken noodle soup.”

“I took it, and me having meals that week meant I had more time and energy to help my grandfather around the house/with his groceries/etc.”

“The family friend gets to help the family, albeit not how they expected, and no one’s feelings get hurt, bc we know how to act like adults.”

“These people sound entitled as all hell. NTA.” ~ littlewoolhat

“Exactly, and when you’re making food for that kind of situation you’re mostly making sustenance. Obviously you want it to be nice but generally people just need something easy so they don’t have to think about it.”

“When my best friend was 8.5 months pregnant I spent a full day filling up her freezer. I’m not sure it was my most groundbreaking cooking but it was all tasty and nourishing and everything was a full meal (rather than ‘curry but you also need to cook rice’) and could be eaten with one hand, because I decided those were the most important criteria. She was incredibly grateful!” ~ SpamLandy

Maybe just order the pizzas.