We’ve all likely had at least one annoying neighbor in our lives, specifically because of loud noises or smells or some other insult to our senses.
But getting back at them by ruining their birthday or some other important event is not a good look, challenged the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Shot_Climate3917 was furious with a neighboring family who threw a loud birthday party at the apartment complex’s community pool.
Because they were breaking a few rules, the Original Poster (OP) used the opportunity to report their party, which might have resulted in them getting evicted, too.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for ruining a child’s birthday party and getting the parents in trouble?”
There was recently a loud party in progress at the pool in the OP’s apartment community.
“I (32 Male) live in an apartment complex with a pool. There is no active lifeguard or anyone really monitoring it like most apartment pools.”
“On Saturday, my boyfriend and I went to hang out at the pool around 2:00 PM.”
“We got there and it was packed. Like way too packed. I looked around and knew this couldn’t all be residents.”
“There were maybe 25 or 30 Hispanic people with beer (using glass bottles of Modelo, as well, which is a double community rule break, with the alcohol AND glassware), loud music, and they were also using both of the grills on the patio.”
“After investigating further, it looked like one of the small families that I’ve seen around the complex was having a birthday party for their kid.”
The OP decided to speak up about the event.
“Our complex technically has a rule that all non-residents must be checked in at the office to use the pool, but there’s no way they enforce this, and nobody really pays attention to that rule.”
“But a whole a** birthday party?! The entire pool was filled with kids. It doesn’t specifically say no parties, but it says to be respectful of others’ spaces and not to hog items like the grills, hot tub, and umbrella tables.”
“My boyfriend and I tried to lay out in the corner, but it wasn’t working.”
“After another couple told us how displeased they were with this party, too, my boyfriend suggested we say something.”
“We left and stopped by the front office and told them about the party.”
The OP was surprised by the immediate consequences.
“About an hour later, we started seeing all of them leaving the pool. It looked like the party was shut down.”
“This morning, we got a note on our door from the hosts of the party. I don’t know how they knew it was us or what unit we lived in, but that’s beside the point.”
“The note called us a**holes for what we did and stated they are now under a ‘lease review’ for which the office could decide to evict them if they want.”
“So they thanked us for potentially getting a poor, small family kicked out.”
“I said we weren’t the only ones who had a problem with what was going on, and if we didn’t do it, they would have eventually gotten caught.”
“I also told them that whatever happens is their own fault for blatantly breaking the rules.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were critical of the couple for a variety of reasons, including the complaint.
“This is one of the grey areas. Legally you are alright. Morally? You had so many options. You could have talked to them. You didn’t.”
“Instead, you put in an official complaint. Housing is a nightmare right now, you have given them more to worry about.”
“And why did you specify Hispanic? What does it have to do with this issue? YTA.” – Own_Garlic_2618
“The fact that you brought up race leads me to believe that you have some problematic biases.”
“The fact that it was a birthday party means it was likely a one-time event. It’s not like they were doing it every day for weeks on end. You could have easily tolerated the extra people for one afternoon, especially because, as you said, there isn’t a rule against having parties.”
“YTA.” – TheCodonbyte
“It would have just been one afternoon. I feel not only bad for the guests and parents but also for the kids.”
“A few years ago, my neighbor’s kid was having a loud a** party with fireworks, which is not legal, etc. I went over instead of calling the police. She was celebrating her 18th. I let her know that since she is now a legal adult, fireworks are very illegal and she would be held liable but to proceed to have fun.”
“Are the neighbors inconsiderate? Yes. Is it inconsiderate to ruin a child’s birthday? YES.”
“YTA.” – throwawaymylife94567
“Racism or not, OP was being a total buzz kill. It was a frigging birthday party, not a daily occurrence. He and the other couple could have just sucked it up for a couple of hours.”
“YTA because this wasn’t necessary at all. Like I said, if it happened all the time, I would get his frustration, but an occasional party should be tolerated, for f**k’s sake. Also, OP never have a pool party yourself after pulling this crap.” – Jedisilk015
“A lot of times, the reason one should shut down something that breaks the rules but is otherwise making folks happy is that there are liability issues. If something goes wrong, your a** is on the line. So the apartment people are going to shut this down because if someone got hurt, they could sue the apartment complex, and it’s their a** on the line.”
“Yours wasn’t. No one was going to sue you specifically. You’re not, like, a monster or a bad person here, but no one likes a snitch.”
“OP has done nothing but whine about how they couldn’t use the space during the party, and is a giant, racist baby.” – Big_Falcon89
“You absolutely made their behavior about their race. That’s racist, whether you accept it or not.”
“You don’t have to list a bunch of negative characteristics about a group of people to make racist statements, it’s usually more subtle than that, and it’s what you’re doing here. You said multiple things indicating this, mentioning that they were ‘Mexican’ and drank Modelo added NOTHING to your narrative.”
“YTA. And take a look at yourself.” – Muhuahahaha
But some agreed with the OP’s decision to complain about the party.
“No landlord sanctions a good tenant and puts them under disciplinary review for no reason. Despite what many landlord stereotypes want you to believe, we want our leaseholds to be self-running as possible and hope that we select good people to be our customers.”
“As a landlord, I’d want to know if one of my tenants couldn’t use an amenity promised to them under the lease and one of my customers was breaking a rule that led to dissatisfaction of a customer.”
“Anyway, they got under lease review because they broke the rules. The responsibility is entirely on them and nobody else is to blame. OP also pays for usage of the pool and couldn’t after it was so crowded, presumably by a tenant bringing in an excessive number of people. I’m sure OP would like to enjoy a beer poolside but is also bound by the same no-alcohol rule.”
“Don’t contest the note, don’t engage the offended people, do nothing. Don’t give them more ammo. In fact, I’d deny it outright; nothing good could come from getting into a p**sing match on your home territory and having to worry about retributions and revenge. You did nothing wrong. NTA.” – BeeYehWoo
“NTA. If they don’t want to risk a lease review and getting kicked out, then they need to honor the rules of the lease, which you said includes signing all guests in at the office.”
“They broke the rules. And inconvenienced other residents wishing to use faculties that they pay for.”
“Their problem.” – YouSayWotNow
“NTA. They broke the rules and didn’t even try to make room for anybody else. I’m sure the pool area wasn’t provided so people could have private parties.” – EnoughOrMore13
“NTA. There’s a whole bunch that happened after you reported it. I can almost guarantee it. You don’t get evicted for having too many people at the pool. Or even for having bottles of beer.”
“You get evicted for arguing back and refusing to follow the rules after being told to comply with the rules. They’re a**holes who are refusing to accept responsibility for their actions.” – BigComfyCouch4
“Technically NTA. They broke rules and have to take responsibility for that.”
“That being said, I would have talked to the family first, asked how much longer they were going to be there, and remind them of how glass is really unsafe poolside.”
“My question is if they left their messages in a note, how did you respond and tell them you weren’t the only ones with a problem? If you went to follow up with them in person, why didn’t you do that in the first place?” – HappyCamper82
“NTA. And to be quite honest, the biggie for me is the glass bottles. That’s such a non-starter. One of those breaks your complex has to close the pool for a deep clean and they’re out thousands, I’ve seen leasing offices close the pool permanently over that kind of rulebreaking.”
“My pool right now is locked down like Alcatraz precisely because the year before I moved in people were throwing ragers, culminating in someone drowning to death.”
“I’m not a big stickler for rules but at a certain point breaking them will result in proving the reasons for why the rules exist. People in here calling you an a**hole are out of pocket.” – wambulancer
The subReddit could completely understand the safety concerns that the OP had about the pool, and maybe even the annoyingly loud party noises, but most argued that those concerns were not the OP’s real worries.
More than likely, most felt that this was a racial issue, or someone simply being frustrated that they couldn’t go to the pool anytime they wanted.