Getting pregnant seems to be a different ordeal for everyone. Some people can easily get the process started, while others have to try and try just to get pregnant, if they can at all.
So when rainbowbaby2022 finally got pregnant with her child, she couldn’t have been happier. The original poster (OP) was ecstatic to have the baby shower for her “rainbow baby.”
With all the difficulty she’s been through, OP couldn’t believe the request she got from her aunt and cousin. The whole thing eventually blew up in a huge family fight.
While OP thinks she’s right, she started doubting herself and had to get an outside opinion.
So she decided to ask the “Am I the A**hole” subReddit about what she did.
“AITA for not allowing my cousin to announce her pregnancy at my baby shower for my rainbow baby?”
While OP thinks she’s right, there’s a nagging feeling she may be wrong.
“This is one thing that you read about on Facebook and think there is no way people actually act like this, until it happens to you.”
“My husband and I are finally expecting our rainbow baby after years of infertility and multiple miscarriages. It’s safe to say we and our family are very freaking excited!”
“My mother is probably the most excited. She’s been planning our baby shower and making decorations for months. She’s been the biggest help during this exciting, yet scary pregnancy.”
“A few weeks ago, my aunt told my mother and I that my cousin is pregnant. We are very happy for her.”
“However, my aunt said their plan is to announce her pregnancy at my baby shower, since we are having a big party anyways. She said it’s not a big deal and we both can share the day.”
“I said absolutely not because we have been waiting for this day forever, and it should be all about me and my rainbow baby. My mother is on my side and told my aunt that they better not announce anything at the party.”
“My aunt dropped it, and nothing else was ever said.”
“Last Saturday was my baby shower! It was everything I’ve waited for. Everything is going good, no one has announced my cousins pregnancy.”
“When it was time for us to eat my cake, my aunt said, ‘hold on, hold on everyone.’ and went outside to her car to grab something. That was the moment I knew something was up.”
“My mother and I follow her outside, and my aunt decided to bring a cake announcing my cousins pregnancy, and some presents for my cousin. My mother immediately told my aunt that she will not be bringing those back into the rec center, and they will not be ruining my day.”
“My aunt started throwing a fit, screaming ‘this is a baby shower, it’s for babies. Cousin is having a baby too, so this day is about her too!’”
“My cousin now joins the screaming and says how pissed off she is that everything is always about me and why do we always have to be happy for me.”
“They would not stop screaming, so they were kicked out by the rec centers security, and half our family was upset that I wouldn’t let her have a moment at my shower so they left too. Now everyone is bashing my mother, myself, and rainbow baby on facebook, group family texts, anything at all.”
“So reddit, was I the a**hole for not allowing my cousin to announce her pregnancy at my rainbow baby’s shower?!”
“If anyone has any questions or want to know more, I will gladly go into deal in the comments! Thanks!”
OP just wanted to celebrate her baby finally coming into the world, but would it have been so hard to let her cousin indulge in the day too?
What is the right response?
On Reddit, the users of the board judged OP for stopping her aunt from announcing her cousin’s pregnancy at OP’s baby shower by including one of the following in their response:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Regardless of any other details, this was a party planned for OP, and it was made clear she didn’t want her aunt announcing her cousin’s pregnancy there. The aunt should have honored OP’s request at her party.
That said, it’s also incredibly tacky to do something like this anyway. It’s like proposing at someone else’s wedding.
OP was NTA for reacting how she did.
“NTA. Absolutely NTA. This was YOUR day, that you’ve been trying to make possible for YEARS.”
If she wanted to steal the spotlight, she should have spent the money, time, and effort on her own shower or announcement party. I would have absolutely lost my sh*t and told her to get f***ed.”
“You and your Mom are 100% in the right.” – mooseshart
“Thank you! I just can’t believe they thought they could get a free party out of this.”
“Sure, my aunt bought a cake to announce it. But my mother was so excited, she spent so much time and effort on this shower.”
“I just can’t believe my aunt would do this to her own sister.” – rainbowbaby2022 (OP)
“Your aunt was so out of line. She mentioned it in advance and was told no, but tried to do it anyways.”
“She probably thought she could she could get away with it by springing in on you during the shower. You didn’t kick her out, but security did for her disruptive behavior.”
“NTA. As for the family that left in solidarity, shame on them.”
“I would write a carefully worded response about how they were told not to make an announcement but rudely tried to do it anyways. I’d also include what she said to you.”
“You have waited so long for this time and it was callous of her to tarnish your moment in the sun. Congratulations and best wishes for your baby and family.” – me0mio
“NTA. In my opinion this is equivalent to proposing at a wedding. You don’t go to someone’s party and make it about yourself.”
“Even if this wasn’t a rainbow baby she would still be in the wrong for trying to make your baby shower about her.”
“Congratulations on your baby!!” – Unable-Zone-7694
“Thank you so much! I don’t understand how people don’t understand how rude this is!”
“I’ve seen many Facebook posts about people proposing at weddings. You never think it’s real until things happen to you.” – rainbowbaby2022 (OP)
“It was bad enough that they wanted to do the announcement, but to actually share the party with her, bringing cake and presents?! That’s lunacy.”
“Lots of these people try to justify doing this because they claim it’s just an easy way to tell everyone together since they’re already there, and they claim it won’t actually take the focus off the main person the party is for because it’ll only be a few minutes of congrats and that’s it.”
“But these people literally expected this to be a dual shower, I just….Yikes, and I cannot believe the other psychos in your family who are siding with them.”
“They can all throw her a party themselves and peace out of your life!” – Youcannotbeforreal2
While this was the agreement, some people took more controversial opinions. Whether it was OP making a scene, or her overuse of the term “rainbow baby”, they didn’t’ exactly agree.
And they made their opinions known.
“Congratulations! But, imo, ESH.”
“Aunt and cousin suck the most, but once the party was happening and they started the public scene that you knew was going to be ‘the announcement,’ the only acceptable move is to let it happen and let them make a**es of themselves.”
“Publicly fighting at your baby shower to keep attention focused on you is not a good look. And though I do feel for you in the situation, and even give you a pass, I think the involvement of security and reaction from your family proves that this situation got out of hand.” – BigPiglet9
“ESH. All I’m seeing a two self absorbed mombies who only care about what comes out of their uterus and nothing else.” – dodgeyduckquacks
“NTA. Your aunt and cousin are entitled AHs.”
“But, for the love of God, please stop saying ‘rainbow baby.’”
“CRINGE.” – Red_orange_indigo
“Hi! So I used the term ‘rainbow baby’ many times in my post to show people how excited my husband and I are for this baby, but to also show why we were upset at the behavior of my aunt and my cousin.”
“I didn’t want to refer to my baby as ‘rainbow baby’ in some parts and then just ‘baby’ in others, I was just trying to keep everything consistent!”
“We don’t always refer to her as ‘rainbow baby’. Just for important stuff, like our announcement, updates on ultrasounds, and obviously our baby shower. I can see where it’s getting annoying.” – rainbowbaby2022 (OP)
It may take time to patch things up with the family, but hopefully, they’ll come around in time. For now, OP can enjoy her last few weeks pregnant before that rainbow baby becomes a crying baby!