Giving someone a gift is a gesture that comes from the heart. But if the gift winds up being a disappointment, should it minimize the intent behind it?
That is something Redditor therealkeeenski struggled with and consulted strangers online for perspective.
He is a 19-year-old who made a blanket by hand to offer as a gift in anticipation of a coworker’s newborn.
But due to unforeseen circumstances, his gift to her wound up being the subject of contention.
In response to the ensuing drama, he visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for making a baby blanket that my coworker’s newborn ended up being allergic to?”
The Original Poster (OP) wrote:
“I made a blanket for my coworker (24 Female) as a present for her baby boy that was due the next month.”
“It was 100% cotton, handmade, and free, as it was just me being nice.”
“Once he was born, she was overjoyed. But when she used the blanket to swaddle her son, he ended up getting a rash from the material.”
“She blamed me, and accused me of being inconsiderate and not taking caution of her child’s allergy.”
“I argued that he was a newborn and it was a gift, informing her that nobody can know the allergies of their child before they are born.”
“She got upset and demanded I made her a new blanket that her child wasn’t allergic to.”
“I refused because 1) she didn’t pay me for anything the first time 2) she refused to pay me for anything this time and 3) I don’t have the time anymore, as I have other orders to make for actual paying customers.”
“I told her that I would reconsider if she offered to pay the labor fee, and I could waive her material cost as a discount, but this wasn’t good enough for her.”
“So, I gotta ask, AITA for not making her another blanket?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Most Redditors said the OP was not the a**hole in the situation.
“However – is the baby actually allergic to cotton? Could it be something else like detergent and the blanket just needs a wash in something different?” – _ewan_
“That would be my thought as well. Most baby clothing are made out of cotton or cotton blends, so if the baby was allergic to cotton it should be covered in a rash all the time.”
“My son has eczema and reacts to different detergents, even ‘baby friendly’ ones. We have to use a free and clear detergent.”
“It’s possible baby was allergic to the detergent, or if it hasn’t been washed, perhaps something else on the yarn. A wash should fix it.”
“And no matter what, it isn’t the ops fault. These things happen sometimes and what works well for some babies don’t work for others. The baby’s momma needs to figure out what the baby is allergic to and make sure the baby doesn’t come in contact with it.” – Content-Box-5140
“I think the coworker just wants an additional freebie. Maybe now she can demand a certain color or a pattern.” – GoodIntelligent2867
“NTA. Your coworker has some nerve! She is quite the entitled selfish self centered AH.”
“Don’t make her another blanket! She can spend her own money to buy a blanket for her own child.” – DisneyAddict2021
“NTA. She has no right to that sort of demand for your labor.”
“And I really doubt that a 100% cotton blanket is what caused the problem. I’m more inclined to consider the clothes the baby was wearing under the blanket, or else something used when washing the child, their clothes, or the blanket.”
“Or, if the blanket wasn’t washed between when you made it and when she used it, it may have picked up something that caused a problem, or some type of treatment on the yarn from the factory may have caused a problem. (Yarns and fabrics often have a treatment on them to keep them looking clean through shipping and being at the store, that washes out.)”
“She might try washing the blanket before using it again. And then a second wash cycle without detergent, to make sure no residue from detergent is left.”
“Dryer sheets can also cause a problem for some people’s skin.” – Jazzlike_Humor3340
“NTA. You gave it as a gift, you didn’t know her kid had an allergy, SHE didn’t know he had an allergy, and on top of that, it was FREE! Now, she’s demanding another? Ignore her.” – fatwap
“What the…? You didn’t take an unborn baby’s unknown allergies into account?”
“Of course, NTA. It’s unfortunate that the baby is allergic to cotton (although I wonder if it’s actually an allergy to the laundry detergent or something), but that is not something you could have anticipated.” – thereforthecomments
“I’m confuzzled. You made the baby a blanket before said baby was born, but you were supposed to know the baby was allergic? By that logic, I can only assume that mom knew the baby was allergic, and still used it on the baby.”
“Sarcasm aside, she is a new mom with what I assume is her first baby. She is freaking out right now, very overwhelmed. Give her some time to come around & get her act together. If she does not, too bad for her.”
“In the mean time, do NOT make her another blanket, whether she pays for the materials or not.” – lapsteelguitar
“NTA for not making her another blanket. My opinion is that she should return the blanket to you so you can rehome it.”
“With her nasty attitude, no way you should spend your time, skill and supplies making her something special. It would be up to you whether you gave her a Walmart gift card so she can pick out her another blanket.”
“She probably doesn’t appreciate the difference in a hand made blanket from mass produced one, anyway.” – lonnielee3
The OP clarified something brought up earlier in the thread.
“For those of you asking if it could be the detergent, I didn’t wash it before giving it to her.”
“And those mentioning knitting, its one of those knot blankets where its two fabrics tried on top of each other to make it thicker. I thought I should mention that.”
Overall, Redditors believed the recipient of the OP’s thoughtful gesture was unfortunate, and they believed she should return the blanket to him so he could regift it to someone else.