Children and dinner parties are a dangerous combination.
So what happens when you try to mitigate the danger but end up insulting everyone anyway?
That was the issue facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) According_Owl6048 when he came to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for judgment.
He asked:
“AITA for leaving dinner to get my son McDonalds, even though food was served?”
An invitation.
“A friend of my wife’s invited my family – my wife (29F), our son (5M), and I (26M) – over for dinner with him (30M) and his daughter (5F).”
“As long as we’ve known him, this friend has kept to a very strict diet, which has almost always led to us eating over at his place, but he is an excellent cook so I’ve never minded.”
“We have not, however, seen him since both of our children were infants.”
Not everyone’s taste.
“For dinner, we were served salmon with quinoa and arugula.”
“My son is very mild for a 5-year-old – he throws tantrums very rarely and is the opposite of a picky eater, but I could tell from how he was acting that he was not vibing with this meal.”
“He was picking at his plate, shuffling food, and while he did try the salmon, he didn’t seem to like it.”
“I asked him if he was happy with his dinner and he said no, he wasn’t.”
“I basically said, ‘Haha, kids, right?’ and asked if there was anything else for my son to eat.”
“My wife’s friend said that his daughter just eats whatever he makes, so he doesn’t keep ‘kid food’ around the house.”
“My wife said it was fine, our son would be fine.”
“While he is a mild kid, he definitely gets hangry and this was the beginning of our night, so we anticipated being there for an additional hour or two.”
Dad to the rescue?
“I said that our son needed to eat so he’d have energy to play and apologized, saying I’d be gone for just a few minutes, picking something up for our kid.”
“My wife’s friend seemed irked, but said he’d try and keep my plate warm.”
“I was gone for about 30 minutes, came back with a Happy Meal – ordered extra fries in case his daughter wanted any, which she was not allowed to have.”
“By the time I was back, dinner was winding down.”
“My son ate his meal, we had dessert, and he went off to play with his friend.”
“It was definitely a hiccup in the night, but things went fine.”
“We had a good time, but my wife was definitely cold with me.”
“When we got home (3 hours after dinner), she told me that I was an @ss at dinner for no reason.”
“I pointed out that if I hadn’t gotten our son dinner, he would’ve been a monster the entire way home, to which she replied that we would’ve left earlier.”
“I said I was just looking to solve the problem as it happened and that if her friend had been more accommodating, we wouldn’t have been in the situation in the first place.”
“She got offended on his behalf, and we decided to just go to bed because we clearly were not getting anywhere.”
“It’s been two days since things are still stilted between us, and I’m not sure where I went wrong.”
OP was left to wonder,
“AITA for leaving dinner to get my son food, even though dinner was served?”
Having explained the situation, OP turned to Reddit for judgment.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
-
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: YTA
Ulterior motives?
“Let’s be honest. OP ducked out in the middle of the meal because HE didn’t like it and wanted McDonald’s for himself.” ~ Snackpotato457
“Lolllllllllllllll you may be right.”
“Cuz why couldn’t he at least wait til everyone else was done eating? Just ridiculous.” ~ cMeeber
Alternatives.
“Right, your kid is not going to starve.”
‘I’d just whisper to him, ‘hey buddy, it’s ok if you don’t want to eat this. We’ll get you something on the way home.’ And my 5-year-old would understand.” ~ somethingcreative987
“My wife won’t leave the house without a backpack full of snacks for the kids (5 and 2), no matter where we’re going.”
“Kids can be picky eaters and can be a handful when they get hungry.” ~ wanson
“Most kids will eat anything with ketchup or ranch too, and honey mustard is great on salmon so that he wasn’t encouraged to try more of the quinoa or try the salmon with a sauce is odd.”
“Also, why not get him something after the full meal is eaten by everyone else at the table?”
“Less disruptive for sure, and likely the kid would have picked at more food because dad didn’t jump in offering another option.” ~ Amazing_Cabinet1404
Those left behind.
“I’m trying to imagine how uncomfortable it was for the adults left behind to try and carry on their visit and conversation after OP got up in the middle of their meal and just left to get fast food. 😳” ~ Admirable_Amazon
“Also, the completely ruined dynamic. So everyone else is now eating. OP returns 30 minutes later and eats at the table with his kid while everyone is done or has moved on to dessert?”
“It’s just such bizarre and rude behavior.” ~ LilSliceRevolution
“Also, imagine you spend ages cooking a nice meal for your friend. You’re excited for him to eat and enjoy it, and after a few bites, he just gets up and leaves while you watch the food you prepared to get cold and ruined as he goes runs an errand.”
“It’s such an insult to the person who cooked the food, honestly.”
“Kid wasn’t even complaining or making a fuss either.”
“Just sit there, enjoy dinner, and monitor your kid.”
“If he gets hungry and starts acting up later, maybe excuse yourselves a little early and grab Maccas on the way home but trying to preempt something that might not even happen like that is just ridiculous.”
“Kids are going to forget about food while they’re playing games with their friends anyway, he might get hangry when he’s alone and bored at home but it’s much less of a risk when he’s having fun and out somewhere” ~ cheapdrinks
Just rude.
“YTA…… that was extremely rude, and rubbed salt in it bringing fries for a kid you reasonably should know isnt allowed them.”
“In the future you should just keep a small box of nuts, rasins, jerkey, and/or crackers in your vehicle or purse when going over there.” ~ MontanaWildWiman
“Bringing the fries for the man’s kid while acknowledging in the same sentence that she wasn’t allowed to have them according to her parent really sealed the deal for me that OP is just an a**hole.”
“In his own words, he was well aware that that was a di*k move.”
“I don’t buy this bs weaponized incompetence act he’s putting on, pretending he doesn’t understand why people are mad or what he did wrong.”
“He literally acknowledges that he’s going against the man’s parenting rules for his kid because apparently OP thinks that his ideas of proper parenting should trump anyone else’s and that he has the right to be feeding someone else’s child food he knows they are not allowed to have.”
“You don’t purposely undercut another person’s parenting and knowingly try to break their established rules for their kid, and then whine and cry victim when people call you out.”
“Right in front of the dad! I’d be hard-pressed not to just toss him out the door for that audacity.” ~
liandrin
“Yes, it was rude.”
“Your kid would have survived one meal that wasn’t kiddified.”
“He wasn’t starving. You’re kind of setting yourself up to have a spoiled kid who expects their parents to drop everything and get fast food for dinner if they don’t like what has been presented.”
“Then you bring back McDonald’s for him to eat in front of their kid, but apparently, you thought that was OK because you picked up some extra fries for their kid, too.”
“Never minding the fact that this friend keeps a strict diet, and now maybe they have to be the a-hole that tells their kid ‘No you can’t have this crap they brought from McDonalds.”‘
“YTA” ~ whenitrainsitpours4
Not everyone was against OP here.
“Yeah I am going to be downvoted into oblivion, but. NTA.”
“Your kid wasn’t throwing a fit.”
“Manners are for making the other person comfortable.”
“You were a guest, and frankly, I don’t believe for a second he didn’t have anything in his house that would have fed your kid.”
“That part made me think he was trying to say his kid was more sophisticated.”
“But when you don’t allow your kid to choose between french fries and quinoa, it’s not your kid being more sophisticated.”
“It’s just not what you do when you invite someone over. You say, “Oh, I have fruit and cheese,” and you help. He didn’t help.”
“But instead of letting your kid go hungry, you went and got food instead of everyone leaving early.”
“I think you were the one with manners in this situation.” ~ ScoogyShoes
A little patience here would’ve gone a long way