Generally speaking, when in the privacy of your own home, you can do whatever you want, whenever you want.
Even so, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t think of your neighbors from time to time if you’re being loud.
Especially if you share walls with your next-door neighbors.
Redditor fred_1980_ was growing increasingly frustrated by the noise coming from his next-door neighbors.
Particularly owing to what they were doing specifically and the room in which they shared a wall with.
When the original poster (OP) addressed his frustrations with them, however, he was greeted with anything but sympathy.
Wondering if he overstepped, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my neighbors to get a hotel if they want to ‘do stuff’ every night?”
The OP explained why he finally lost his patience with the noise coming from his next-door neighbors.
“I, 43 male have 6 children.”
“4 daughters and 2 sons, age ranging from 16 to 2.”
“All my daughters share a room, and my sons share a room.”
“I’m aware that’s a bit intense, but they’re both quite big rooms, and they all enjoy sharing a room.”
“Our house is connected to the next door and the neighbor’s bedroom is on the same wall as both my kids rooms.”
“Our new neighbors moved in about 4 months ago and not to be TMI but I swear they’re always doing something.”
“I’m not one to be confrontational, so I tried to just ignore it. I can sleep through the night fine.”
“But a few days ayo my daughter (female 5) came into my room at 2am crying, saying she thinks the neighbors are fighting each other and that they were screaming.”
“Of course l was concerned and told my daughter to stay in my room, I went into hers and low and behold they were screaming.”
“But not from fighting.”
“At this point I was irritated, if they want to do it every day that’s their choice, but if they’re waking my children up at 2am I think I have the right to say something.”
“The next day I went over to their house and basically told the husband that ‘if he’s that horny he can get a motel or sh*g in the basement.”
“He got mad, and embarrassed.”
“He told me it was none of my business what they did in bed and then slammed the door in my face.”
“I feel like I may have been in the wrong but they’re also doing it, 6 feet away from 6 sleeping children with only a thin wall in between.”
“I share custody of my children and only have them on Tuesdays and Thursdays as their mother and stepfather are in work those days.”
“I want to make it clear that I had mentioned this to them many times over text, id told them that they can do what they want but that on those two days, id appreciate some quiet or for them to put on a TV show loud in the background so my kids wouldn’t hear them specifically.”
“They didn’t respect those wishes and actually started doing it a lot louder on those days and also put on very loud (yk what) videos on as well.”
“When I went to their house that was months into the situation and I had snapped, I have apologized to them for snapping, but I still feel as if they aren’t respecting me or my children at all.”
“Am I the a**hole.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was somewhat divided on where they believed the OP fell in complaining to his neighbors and telling them to get a hotel.
Some felt that the OP was absolutely in the right to complain, as it seemed that his neighbors were intentionally trying to annoy him and should be more sympathetic.
“There’s normally noise laws, and it seems like the neighbors are getting louder on purpose, just like if you have a super loud party passed a certain time, you can’t blaire noises and purposely scream, to wake your neighbors kids.”
“You’ve tried talking to them about it, and it only got worse, I would check on the noise laws to see if calling the police would help.”
“Also I would be pissed if my neighbor put on corn and cracked it for my young child to hear, thats not appropriate or right in any way.”- DazzlingTension5468
“NTA.”
“Likely an unpopular opinion here, but part of living anywhere with shared walls is not being disruptive to the point of being an annoying neighbor every single day.”
“Apartment, townhome, etc.”
“fwiw, I would feel the same way if you lived in a single-family home and the people in the home next-door left their window open and screamed their brains out while getting down.”
“Considerate people just don’t do this.”- Retired401
“NTA.”
“They’re having sex in their own house but their sound waves are entering your property.”
“They are affecting you.”- theblitz6794
“Honestly, if they are doing it louder, they want the children to hear.”
“Call the police for noise disturbance and end it.”
“That’s disgusting in my eyes to get louder once you tell them it’s waking your children.”-Sloth_lover_1994
“NTA.”
“I was in your shoes once and thankfully my neighbor was embarrassed enough to keep the noise down after.”
“They purposely got louder, knowing full well there are kids on the other side of the wall.”
“They are jerks.”
“I am all for having a great sex life, but when you originally asked they should at least not have ramped it up to be disruptive on purpose.”
“This is why semis/townhouses/apartments sucks.”- Cabbage-floss
“This will be controversial, but NTA.”
“If your lease has quiet hours and they’re being loud after those hours, especially watching porn loud enough to be heard that a violation of terms, and the property manager needs to get involved.”
“Watching porn loud enough for your neigbbors to hear is disgusting.”
“You don’t have to participate in their sexual fetish.”
“Children or not, you should respect your neighbors and not be yelling and screaming all the damn time no matter the reason.”
“I’m glad they aren’t fighting but making that much noise is attention-seeking behavior.”
“They probably have some fetish about being observed.”- RampagingTurtle11
“I’m actually going to say that you aren’t an a**hole for complaining about the noise.”
“I suppose you live in an apartment, here where I live, you have a maximum of noise you can make outside of some hours where there can be noise that gets to the neighbors, and 2 AM surely isn’t an hour where you can make noise.”
“Imagine if they’d blast music at 2 am, EVERYONE would have said that they were being a**holes, but since it’s sex, they don’t.”
“I get it that you can put music in headphones but the point is that 1 they can do it in other hours, like earlier and 2, they can avoid to scream out of their lungs.”
“It’s not like you don’t enjoy sex if you don’t make it obvious that you’re doing it. It’s called f*cking respect of others, independently by the cause, if you are disturbing at 2 am you are an a**hole.”- MagicDog1234
“NTA they’re weirdos for playing p mad loud and being louder purposely knowing CHILDREN are watching.”- Regular-Chemist-7807
“Every morning 7:01am you get a hammer drill and… NTA.”
“Anyone can do whatever they want in their room as long as it doesn’t get out of the room.”
“It’s not appropriate to shag loudly next to children.”
“Period.”- LoanTime7570
Others agreed that the OP had a right to complain, but the OP could have handled it better, and maybe should have called the police or authorities and filed a proper noise complaint rather than simply complain directly to the neighbors.
“ESH.”
The way you went about it wasn’t the smoothest, yeah. Probably should’ve had a script or something.
“But no.”
“‘They paid for the house, they can be loud, it’s just sex’.”
“Just no, dudes.”
“The first few times I had sex, yeah it was loud.”
“But then, hey! I live in an apartment with others who can hear, so guess what?”
“We matured and lowered our voices out of common courtesy for our neighbors!”
“It’s not ‘stifling sex’ or being ‘prudish’.”
“Literally, you can have an amazing love life without breaking out a megaphone…!'”- SenioritaStuffnStuff
“If its so loud kids are crying, just call the police for a domestic noise complaint.”- Raindripdrop
No one should be prevented from having fun in their own home.
That being said, when you share a wall, being mindful of the amount of noise you’re making is simply the polite thing to do.
Regardless of what you’re doing or who lives on the other side of your wall.