We like to believe that parents always have their kids’ needs and well-being at heart.
But even if they do, sometimes they make the wrong decision for their kids, confided the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
For instance, Redditor Throwaway587210 thought he would teach his pregnant daughter a lesson by kicking her out.
But when his wife became unhappy, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he had taken his lesson too far.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for kicking my daughter out of my house?”
The OP received some news from his daughter.
“My [41 male] daughter [19 female] recently told me and my wife that she’s pregnant and apparently she’s been hiding it for 3 months.”
“The Boyfriend is a scumbag who I thought she left after I gave her an ultimatum to either leave him or leave my house.”
“She chose the latter or at least I thought she did.”
“She started sobbing and telling us how sorry she was and that it was just a big mistake.”
The OP gave his daughter an ultimatum.
“I told her the only way she can stay in our house is if she gave the baby up for adoption because we won’t allow it to ruin her life.”
“She just kept pleading to us that she’ll take care of it.”
“I had a very hard time believing her after I just found out she’s been lying to me for months and going behind my back to see her boyfriend.”
“My daughter refused to give her baby up, to which I decided to kick her out of my house.”
“Now she’s staying with a friend for I don’t know how long.”
Others didn’t agree with the OP’s actions.
“My wife has been incredibly sad and is now telling me what I did was wrong.”
“It wasn’t an easy decision for me to make, but I couldn’t allow her to walk away without any consequences.”
“At her age, I was already taking care of myself, so I don’t look at it the same way others might.”
“Is it really wrong for me to kick my adult daughter out of my house after she lied to me?”
“I’m willing to see if I’ve taken things too far.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP was prioritizing the wrong things.
“‘I Don’T wAnT hER RuiNinG Her LiFe.’ Don’t have to worry, you just did that for her.”
“She made some mistakes for sure, but the issue is a pretty common one. She’s not the only person to ever get an unwanted pregnancy to the disdain of her parents.”
“You made it so much worse by throwing her out. It’s gonna be hard for her to get a job, especially in a few more months.”
“You’re basically throwing her and the baby into a s**tty situation so you can have a tasty little ‘you see what happens?’ moment. Consider your relationship with your daughter over.” – The_Damon8r92
“YTA; you know forbidding your daughter from seeing her bf is just going to make him more desirable right? And how is kicking her out when she is pregnant, vulnerable, and in need of stability and love going to help? Yeah, not great parenting I would say.”
“Setting rules is one thing, kicking out your daughter when she is most desperate is going to be the a**hole choice 99.9% of the time. OP is choosing his ‘rules’ over supporting his daughter.” – gherbi2356
“She needs to have consequences for getting pregnant!”
“Because morning sickness, swollen feet, back pain, having your calcium and iron sucked out of you to build a new human that you then push out of you isn’t ENOUGH CONSEQUENCES! She REALLY needs to suffer!!! [ends sarcastic comment]”
“Ugh. The bright side, I don’t believe OP that the boyfriend is a scumbag. People like OP usually hate anyone who is not catering to their ego 24/7.” – Financial_Permit_317
Others were just angry about how the OP handled the situation, period.
“Where the h**l does he get off giving an ultimatum of telling her she has to give a child up for adoption? He’s part of the problem with the world today in my opinion.”
“I left home at 17 because I had a father like him and I haven’t spoken to him to this day and I’m 46.”
“I guess if giving up his daughter is worth it to him, then he got what he wanted. He’s truly an a**hole.” – Consistent-Stop2383
“This guy really said, ‘I won’t let you ruin your life by becoming a mother! Instead, we will take the baby from you and hand it over to someone else and you’ll never see it again. I don’t see that creating any problems for you in the long run.'” – Raise-the-Gates
“Her father ruined her life before her unborn child or the boyfriend could. This is a difficult situation to say the least but having a child at any age with a less than ideal partner is ‘punishment’ enough, and now her father isn’t supporting her?”
“I’m 9 months pregnant now and my heart is broken thinking of what must be going through this young woman’s mind.”
“I hope she gets support from people who love and care about her and I pray that her mother steps in to support her daughter!”
“OP just became her sperm donor, not her father. A father would step up to the plate and take care of his child.”
“When you have a child, you don’t opt-out at 18, it’s not some magical number that all of a sudden makes you not their parent and them an adult. 19 is still a TEENAGER!!!”
“I’m not saying taking care of the baby is his responsibility, but it’s definitely his responsibility to love and support his daughter to help her through this and to find a healthy solution for her.”
“Poor girl, I’ll be saying an extra prayer for her and her child.”
“And OP to answer your question… yes, you are a major a**hole, you just set your daughter and unborn grandchild up for failure, just so you wouldn’t bruise your ego. I hope being right was worth the cost of your relationship with your daughter…” – SubstanceOk3888
While the OP thought he was teaching his daughter something about choices and consequences, the subReddit did not agree.
Having an unplanned pregnancy, wanted or not, would be enough of a wakeup call on its own, and especially since she wanted to keep her baby, the 19-year-old needed the OP’s support, not his scorn.