Society traditionally expects young women to want children. Women often face criticism for not wanting them and parents often dream of the day they will become grandparents.
But what if your child would not make a good parent?
Or they simply do not want kids?
Many parents would be upset but in this instance one dad told his daughter the opposite.
Redditor Demonicfurby999 looked to the “Am I The *A**hole” (AITA) subreddit for judgement on a difficult conversation.
“AITA for telling my daughter she wouldn’t be a good mother?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My daughter is 18 years old and struggles with many mental and physical health problems. Most days she needs my help preparing simple meals for herself because of severe executive dysfunction.”
“Ever since she was a child, she was adamant that when she had kids she would adopt. But in recent years, she’s changed her stance from adoption to not having children at all.”
“Both my mother and my wife’s mother have severe mental illness, and they were both incredibly neglectful. She sees how we both resent our mothers (Just something she picked up on as she got older) and began to self evaluate.”
“Eventually she came to the conclusion that some people simply aren’t fit to parent and she’s one of them. She’s not upset about this. She’s gay and says that she feels free from the expectations of having a nuclear family because of it.”
“I told her that in all honesty, I think she’s right. I said that might change as she grows older, but if she remains as she is now, I don’t think she’d be able to take care of another human life on top of her own.”
”She seemed happy to have her opinion validated. I thought all was well until my wife came to me in tears over what I’d said. She demanded I apologize to my daughter and take it back because I was ‘stigmatizing her illness to her’ and ‘limiting her future.’”
”I don’t see it like that. My daughter is young, but she’s an adult. She’s had this opinion for 2 years now.”
”And, being the child of a mother who wasn’t fit for the role, I’m incredibly proud of my daughter for being able to reflect on herself like that. I’m open to being TA here. I just want to know if I messed up by agreeing with her.”
”If I need to take it back, I will.”
“The last thing I want is to hurt her.”
Redditors were asked to pass judgement by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided this dad was NTA.
”NTA .Your wife isn’t thinking about what your daughter needs. I think she’s making this about herself. As a mom, it’s validating to hear that your daughter wants to be a mom, too.”