It’s a parent’s job to protect their children at all costs.
Even if it means protecting them from your friends.
Such was the dilemma recently faced by a Redditor, who made the decision to take his children out of the house when one of his wife’s friends paid a visit.
But after his doing so appeared to damage his wife’s friendship, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), asking fellow Redditors:
“AITA for taking my kids when my wife’s friend came over?”
The OP first gave fellow Redditors an idea of how this particular friend usually behaves.
“We have 2 kids, 6 M[ale] and 5 F[emale].”
“My wife (32 F) has a friend ‘Sasha’ that she’s known for about 10 years.”
“She’s pretty much a party girl and almost everything she talks about when she comes over is something crazy she did with a guy or while drunk/high.”
“And Sasha has a habit of going into full explicit details.”
“If it was just us I (31 M) wouldn’t care.”
“The issue is she says this in front of our kids and doesn’t seem to bother her at all.”
“She could literally be going into details about how she was riding a guy the other night and we always have to tell her to stop because our kids are right there.”
“But she always says ‘so what? They’re gonna learn about it in the future anyways.'”
“And the damm swearing.”
“Every other word out of her mouth has to be the F word.”
“Or she refers to my wife as ‘bitch’ because that’s how she talks.”
“And it’s not like we can have the kids up in their rooms so they don’t hear, I’ve heard Sasha being so loud (she always is) I could hear her all the way upstairs in my office with the door shut.”
“Again, if it was only us it’s a different story but not with the kids around.”
“Especially when my 5 year old is asking what the c word is.”
“I’ve told my wife to talk to Sasha about controlling her language and the things she talks about around the kids, I’ve spoken to Sasha about it.”
“And she gets mad saying we can’t ‘control who she is’.”
“My wife understands it’s an issue but then when Sasha gets mad she apologizes and it turns into an issue.”
The OP finally made a decision on how to handle this problematic situation, which proved to come at something of a cost to his wife.
“She hasn’t come over in a few months so she wanted to visit yesterday.”
“But I told my wife I don’t want the kids around her so it’s better if I take them to the park or something for a few hours while Sasha is at the house.”
“My wife didn’t agree with that, we had a small argument but in the end I took them with me a few minutes before Sasha got there.”
“She heard about what I did because my wife had told her that the kids would be there then suddenly they weren’t.”
“Now she’s pissed at me for taking the kids just because she wouldn’t let us police how she talks.”
“My wife sees where I’m coming from now and she apologized but the thing is that now Sasha won’t talk to her either but keeps saying stuff to some of our mutual friends.”
“Many of which agree that keeping the kids from Sasha when she really wanted to see them was a bit much.”
“I’m being called an asshole, my wife is sad that Sasha won’t talk to her so now I’m wondering if my reaction was too much.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where the OP fell in this particular situation:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors were unanimous in deciding that the OP was not the a**hole in choosing to keep the kids out of the house when Sasha was there.
Redditors were in agreement the OP was doing his job as a parent by keeping his children away from Sasha, with some even saying Sasha shouldn’t have been allowed in their home in the first place.
“NTA – you are a good parent for keeping your kids away from people like Sasha.”
“Why is she even invited to your home?”
“She doesn’t respect your boundaries.”
“Also, you might want to see why your wife is more concerned about Sasha’s feelings than yours.” – laughingsbetter
There was also agreement Sasha’s behavior went well beyond the scope of common decency, with many expressing concern the OP’s wife didn’t recognize how this was a problem sooner.
“And talk about explicit sexual acts in front of a 5 year old and say they will learn about it one day.”
“That is extremely disturbing to me.”
“If I was OP I would ask why her friend is more important that her children and their childhood?”
“Why someone that still believes in Santa should know what sexual acts are?”
“Op has a wife problem too.”
“NTA” – Blackstar1401
“If Sasha wants to see YOUR kids, she has to play by YOUR rules.”
“How hard is that to understand?”
“If she thinks the topics she is discussing are appropriate for a 5-year-old, great, she can go have some kids and try that out, see how far that gets them.”
“She already took this matter public, which makes me believe she has omitted the fact she decided to discuss one-night stands in intimate detail in front of a toddler.”
“If your other friends have children, start asking them if you can come over to talk about the birds and the bees in graphic detail with their toddlers around, after all, they said you were being mean not letting Sasha do that with your kids so surely they support doing it.”
“See how many of them can put their money where their mouth is.” – Judgemental_Panda.
“NTA – talking graphically about sex in front of children isn’t just poor taste, it’s the same as showing them porn, or exposing yourself to them.”
“The fact that she is pushing back on ‘her right’ to do this makes her dangerous around kids.” –AssignmentSad5194
The majority of redditors were also beyond surprised how badly Sasha took advantage of the OP’s hospitality.
“She is a guest in your house and even if she doesn’t agree with the censorship, it’s beyond disrespectful to simply refuse to comply to a simple request from the homeowner, her friends!”
“Sasha needs to sashay away.” – Grady_Pendragon
Even if Sasha might not have children of her own, how unapologetic she was regarding her demeanor around them is very concerning indeed.
And if Sasha wasn’t willing to work on that when she was around the OP, his wife and their children, one has to wonder how good a friend she really was.
But hopefully Sasha might realize this, and make her friendship with the OP’s wife a priority.