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White Dad Sparks Drama After Making Racially Insensitive Comment To His Mixed-Race Son For Disliking Rice

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Food and culture can be very closely connected, but what do you do when someone tries to force you to eat a food because they believe it’s your “duty” as a member of a certain race or culture?

Reddit user “ItssollyboyXD” found himself wondering if he handled things poorly after yet another food-based confrontation with his father.

He turned to the AITA (“Am I The A**hole?”) subReddit and asked

“AITA for ‘insinuating’ that my dad is racist?”

Before we get into the details of his story, let’s briefly go over how AITA works.

The subReddit is devoted to those moments in life where you’re seriously not sure who the bad guy was. Users share their situations as posts.

Other users respond to the original poster (“OP”) in the comments by sharing their thoughts and casting votes.

Voting options are: 

  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Now that we’ve established how things work, let’s get back to OP and his culinary culture clash. 

“I come from a mixed background.”

“My family on my dad’s side are White Jewish Canadians, who moved to the United Kingdom. On my mum’s side they are Hindi Indians, who moved to the UK.”

“My dad hates his religion, and always pushes me to not identify as much with it.”

“The incident: I have never liked rice. The texture is so wet and sloppy and grainy and it just makes me sick to my stomach.”

“Most of my family are disappointed by this, since Indian cuisine involves lots of rice. Most of them are fine with it however.”

“Apart from my dad.”

“He is extremely pushy about me eating rice. He always puts it in food without telling me, and gets extremely angry when I mention my dislike for it.”

“This all came to a head a few days ago. I was making chilli con carne for my family. I made rice for everyone else, and cooked a tortilla wrap for my self.”

“When I came in with a different meal however, he went on his usual rant. This time, however, he had a new point up his sleeve, this was that ‘It is my duty as an Indian to like rice’.”

“This pissed me off, and I told him that I didn’t think it was his place to say what it was my duty as an Indian to like, and that he was just reinforcing stereotypes.”

“He is now not talking to me, and has been insisting constantly that it isn’t racist to suggest that all Indians have a duty to eat rice.”

“So reddit AITA?” 

Reddit doesn’t often come to a full consensus, but the responses kind of left us with the impression if all of Reddit could line up to laugh in dad’s face and tell him how ridiculous he is, they would. 

“What a totally bizarre hill he chose to die on. NTA.”

“‘I’m sorry you don’t like rice, because it rules’.”

“But everyone gets to like and dislike whatever food they want.” – CabernetTheCat

“NTA, your dad has some serious issues he needs to work out.”

“Your dad is racist. You don’t have to enjoy rice because your mom comes from a country that prefers rice.”

“It also sounds like your family is really bad at making rice. It doesn’t have to be wet and sloppy, that just sounds like you added too much water. I love rice, but I don’t like soggy rice.” – cdifl

“He’s complaining about rice and chili, but chili isn’t even an Indian dish! That cracked me up.”

“OP, NTA and yes, your father is being racist.”

“Just about everyone in every culture has at least one food they don’t like. It doesn’t make you some special snowflake or dismissive of family culture.” – SpinnerOfYarn

“NTA. I seen it a lot when people marry into other cultures and therefore act like an authority on that culture. your dad was out of line.” – phlegmdonuts

“There’s definitely something happening here too, when he hates his origins but forces his wife’s origins on OP:”

“’My dad hates his religion, and always pushes me to not identify as much with it’.”

“I’m not totally clear on what’s happening, but dad needs therapy to figure out his relationship identity stuff, at least for his kid.” – archandincorrigible

“I love rice, and would eat it most days – does that mean I have a ‘duty’ to be Indian?! Your dad is ridiculous. NTA” – psychocrafter

“NTA”

“You called a spade a spade. What else do you call it when you go on a spiel about how a specific ethnicity HAS to act?”

“You don’t like rice, so you don’t eat it. It is entirely that simple.” – rageofaeons

“Eh, you’re definitely NTA.”

“It’s rice. A food you don’t happen to enjoy eating. Rice.”

“It’s really not racist to not enjoy a food, but to insist that every Indian does certainly is playing to racist stereotypes.”

“As someone else mentioned, this is about the dumbest, most ridiculous hill to choose to die on.” – Life-Television2679

“NTA why does your dad feel the need to dictate your cultural identity so much?”

“You aren’t allowed to identify with your Jewish heritage because he doesn’t like it, but you have to like rice because you’re Indian?”

“What logic???? Just what??” – Justthebean

“NTA”

“Good lord. My kid is Asian-mixed and hates rice. Pretty sure it’s not due to his white half.”

“Your dad has issues – race, identity, general a**holery. Some combination there of.”

“Either way. His stance is ridiculous. So is his reaction.” – ebwoods1

“NTA. Nobody has a duty to like anything. He’s absolutely reinforcing a racist stereotype.”

“Ask him if he believes every black person has a ‘duty’ to like fried chicken, or some other stereotyped race-food pairing. If he says yes, then he’s either a racist in denial or a racist in hiding.”

“If he says no, ask him why not, and then when he’s done walking it all back ask him why that logic can’t also apply to you and rice.” – haelsvolgir

Hilariously, the rice lovers came out in full force to point out OP’s rice description might point to a reason he doesn’t like the widely-loved staple food. 

“You’re NTA…”

“But….. the rice is SLOPPY and WET?!?! Honey they’re making the rice wrong.. you all are… I’m just offended for rice everywhere.”

“The only time rice should be wet is when its a part of a stew or if it’s rice porridge. Just wtf?”

“The way we make rice in my family, it comes out dry and fluffy. Sometimes we add a bit of different oils for variation. It’s always delicious.”

“Sloppy and wet?! Only if we mess up and put too much water! No wonder you don’t like it… Sorry that happened to you.”

“If you ever visit NYC, please be open to trying rice from anywhere in this city; Dominican, Puerto Rican, Mexican, Chinese, Japanese, even street halal!”

“I’ve yet to come a across a restaurant or food cart out here that destroyed rice to the point of ‘wet and sloppy.’ They would not be in business for long if they did!” – L0v31sk3y

“NTA and your family probably doesn’t know how to cook rice. Try one portion of rice to two (or two and a half, depending on the rice, you’d have to try and see) portions of water on the lowest heat until the water evaporates.”

“Also, I wonder what kind of rice they’re buying? Because some brands are finicky, and when you cook them wrong they come out like you said.”

“Rice properly cooked should never be ‘wet and sloppy and grainy.’ Never.”

“Some people cook rice the same way they cook dry pasta, and that’s just wrong.”

” ‘Wet’ means they used too much water, and ‘grainy’ means it’s not cooked properly all the way through, and likely they cooked it in high heat with boiling water. You don’t cook rice in boiling water.”

“Sorry, that was a bit of a rant there. The point is, you might find you like rice when it’s actually cooked properly. And it’s also possible to like one type of rice and dislike another.” – MageVicky

“NTA eat whatever you want.”

“What I want to know is why your family’s rice is coming out wet and sloppy. Rice isn’t normally like that.” – B1chpudding

“Also on another note – when rice is cooked well it should not be wet and sloppy. I’m from a ethnic minority in Britian and I have never knew a ethnic minority to make wet rice.”
“Someone in your household is not cooking that stuff properly.” – phlegmdonuts
So what have we learned today? Microaggressions are still a thing, and rice lovers are a passionate bunch.
As a cultural aside, there are several Indian dishes that call for a “pasta method” of cooking Basmati rice. Internet comedian “Uncle Roger” made major waves mocking a video of a woman cooking rice this way.
The method is not “wrong” but it certainly doesn’t work for all kinds of rice.

Written by Erica Diaz

Erica is the consummate cool-kid. She’s so cool that she’s been talked about in magazines, on blogs and on the radio after losing her left eye because of a piece of glitter. She is still actively mourning the passing of Prince and hopes to one day do an all-iguana remake of Graffiti Bridge since iguanas are plentiful near her home in South Florida. She has yet to find one that can really nail the “ahhhyayayeaheaheah” that Tevin Campbell does in Round and Round, and everyone knows the music is the important part of any Prince film. She’s a mother, singer, writer and (if the internet is to be believed - which we all know it is) a Nigerian socialite mid-ranking member of the Illuminati. She prides herself on being the most popular one-eyed rock star under 5 ft tall in pretty much any room she walks into.