When you’re a parent one of the worst things in the world is seeing your child in pain.
And one of the worst things to see for any human is medical carnage.
The body and mind will react, how it reacts.
That’s why medical personal are so amazing.
They just keep going.
Case in point…
Redditor Time_Policy9325 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for reacting badly when my daughter broke her arm?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (41 M[ale]) have two daughters with my wife (38 F[emale]).”
“I have a 10 year old, ‘Carol’ & a 7 year old, ‘Jane.'”
“I was at the playground with my children whilst my wife was shopping.”
“I was sitting on a park bench by the playground.”
“I heard an argument between the two girls and said ‘what’s going on?'”
“My 7 year old, yelled ‘that’s not fair!’ and began running towards me shouting ‘Daaaad.'”
“Jane was doing a kind of fake, frustrated cry where her face was scrunched up, but no tears were coming out.”
“As her eyes were closed she didn’t see the edge of the playground barrier (wooden fence almost about 4 inches high to keep the bark in).”
“She tripped and landed hard on the concrete path.”
“She didn’t put her arm out in time and (I found out later) she had a clean break through both her radius and ulna.”
“She got up, went pale pretty much immediately and held her arm out looking at me in confusion.”
“She wasn’t even crying.”
“Her arm was legitimately floppy.”
“I was also in shock and turned away quickly and stood there for a few seconds with my mouth open.”
“I then turned back to my daughter who just said ‘Daddy?'”
“And realized I wasn’t imagining, her arm was truly snapped in half and flopping.”
“I literally ran to the bush behind the park bench and vomited multiple times for about 45 seconds.”
“My 7 year old finally began to cry and I could hear my 10 tear old comforting her.”
“I felt terrible hearing my 10 year old do my job and yelled at myself internally to get it together.”
“I went over to my 7 year old and said, you’ll be okay, let’s go to the hospital.”
“I was struggling to look at her.”
“My 10 year old was looking at me weird.”
“We were close to the hospital so I went straight to the emergency department and they put her in a room immediately.”
“We were waiting for the technician to take us to get an x-ray, I messaged my wife, who rushed to the hospital.”
“It didn’t take too long to get the x-ray, speak with the doctors, get a cast, we were back home probably 3 hours later.”
“After dinner, I was helping my 7 year old get changed into her pajamas (she was struggling with her cast) and setting her up in bed with pillows and a movie.”
“In this time my 10 year old was helping my wife with tidying up the kitchen.”
“During this time my 10 year old gave an in depth (albeit slightly exaggerated) version of events at the park.”
“My wife waited until both girls were in the bed and then ripped into me.”
“She said I was a bad dad and Jane needed comfort and support and I was being selfish.”
“I told her I didn’t want to have that reaction, I didn’t anticipate that reaction but it was a crazy thing to see with my own eyes that I had never seen before.”
“She asked why I didn’t hug her and I said I was scared of touching her arm but was rubbing her back on the way back to the car.”
“She called me pathetic for vomiting and made me feel terrible.”
“I spoke to my sister about it, as she has 4 children.”
“She says my reaction was understandable, but can also understand why my wife was upset.”
“I didn’t handle it in the greatest fashion.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Let’s review. You saw something sickening, vomited, pulled yourself together after like a minute, and got your child to the ER.”
“Despite being overwhelmed you fulfilled every duty you had to take of your child after an accident.”
“You were there.”
“You heroed through it.”
“And your wife is mad at your for this?”
“NTA but I don’t like your wife.” ~ pawsplay36
“This exactly. I was able to hold myself together just barely when we had to hold my kid down for stitches.”
“Seeing the fat inside the wound did me in.”
“I looked at my then-husband who saw my already pale face turn white.”
“He simply said, ‘go!’
“The ER staff did not need another medical emergency on their hands.”
“I felt like s**t for ‘abandoning’ my kid who was scared, but it would have been far scarier to see mum pass out.”
“You pulled yourself together and got s**t done.”
“I’m impressed, and your wife is likely upset that she wasn’t there and lashing out at you in any way she can to alleviate her mom guilt.”
“None of it is rational, but that’s part of being a parent.” ~ TitaniaT-Rex
“Exactly!! Broken bones are terrifying enough already, I can’t imagine seeing your kid with a broken bone!”
“Not the best initial reaction, but OP got it together pretty quick.”
“I think he should apologize to the kids, in a ‘sorry dad f**ked up and isn’t the best with broken bones, but he still loves you and will always be there for you’ in a sort of way.”
“Everyone it probably a tad traumatized by this whole thing.”
“That being said, it was obviously involuntary and he should emphasize that with his wife.”
“She got to see the daughter at the hospital, getting help.”
“OP saw it happen, that’s scary.” ~ dev-246
“It’s hard when emotions are still floating around- thinking clearly and calmly is a crapshoot and it becomes easy to let irrational anger take over.”
“I don’t blame your for being shocked- you can’t force yourself to hold vomit back easily.”
“And when it was over, your kids were getting what they needed.”
“I’m glad you talked to your kids regardless, and your wife is feeling calmer. NTA.” ~ MayoBear
“You’re NTA OP.”
“You sound like a great dad.”
“I have a disorder that causes me to be badly injured pretty easily.”
“I’ve seen people vomit in reaction to it.”
“It’s normal to react to injury that way.”
“The important thing is you got yourself together and helped your kiddo.”
‘You may have needed a second but you were there and you’re still being there for her.”
“That’s what’s matter to her, is she’ll always know you were there.” ~ Sufficient-Bee-8868
“Vomiting is a perfectly normal and acceptable (albeit unfortunate) way to respond to any kind of damage to a human being’s body, be it a broken bone or blood or evisceration.”
“It is programmed into our lizard brains – at our core, the brain recognizes that something isn’t right, and causes panic.”
“You can’t stop the lizard brain from doing what it needs to do.”
“It’s trying to keep you alive, just with antiquated defense systems that don’t respond to logic or reason.”
“Spend time with your kids.”
“You’ll be okay.”
“You witnessed your daughter sustaining a visually disturbing injury, what dad wouldn’t feel his heart drop seeing their baby like that? NTA.” ~ Fit_Menu8933
OP came back with an update…
“I did apologize to the girls this morning, because I realized how overwhelming and scary it would’ve been for them, regardless of whether my reaction was valid or not.”
“I told them I was sorry and I hoped I didn’t scare them.”
“I promised them I would try my hardest to be better in the future.”
“I told them both I was very proud of how strong and mature they both were.”
“My wife has been very kind today and I think she feels bad.”
‘She wants to talk tonight.”
“I think lashing out due to mum guilt sounds very likely and she truly never speaks like this to me.”
“I will edit this comment with the outcome of our conversation tonight.”
And the outcome…
“My wife arranged to have my in- laws take the children out to dinner so we could have some alone time this evening.”
‘She apologized profusely for how she spoke and said she felt terrible about calling me a bad father and assured me I was not.”
“She explained that she felt bad about not being there.”
“She was irritated I didn’t call her immediately (but understood why I didn’t).”
“She said mostly it was a scary situation for her that she had made worse in her head.”
“She said she was overwhelmed by the whole situation and felt helpless seeing our usually incredibly high energy and boisterous daughter, pale and out of sorts.”
“Both children have been in high spirits today and laughing about yesterday.”
“My 7 year old is running around the house like nothing happened.”
“Slightly unnerving but mostly just glad to see her back to herself.”
Well OP, Reddit was clearly on your side, but it sounds like a happy ending.
It’s always nice to hear a positive outcome in these situations.
Medical issues are hard for everybody.
Stay healthy.