in , ,

Teen Called ‘Gross’ And ‘Unsanitary’ For Throwing Away Her Used Pad At Her Date’s House

Science Photo Library/Getty Images

Since it’s 2021, we should be able to agree that the menstruation cycle is simply a normal process for nearly anyone with a uterus, which includes all the sanitary items that could along with it.

But some people continue to think it’s shameful, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.

Redditor Throwaway29lh went on her first date while having her period, which resulted in an unexpected reaction from her date.

After hearing feedback from her friends, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if her date reacted in a strange way.

She asked the sub: 

“AITA for throwing away my pad at an acquaintance’s house?” 

The OP recently went on her first date.

“I’m sort of embarrassed about this.”

“I (18 female) met a dude (19 male) on Tinder a few weeks ago, and we seemed to really hit it off.”

“We had a lot of the same hobbies, and I felt a spark between us that I’m sure he felt too.”

“After we got past the talking phase, we decided to meet at his house for coffee.”

“It was great when I arrived. We talked loads, and even held hands!”

Then something unexpected happened. 

“However, I was on the third day of my period, and after a couple of hours, I needed to change my pad.”

“I asked for the bathroom, and he directed me to it.”

“After I finished changing, I noticed his trashcan was pretty full.”

“Not sure what to do, I wrapped it in toilet paper and sort of smoothed it into the trash can so it wasn’t sitting on the edge.”

“We hung out for about an hour more, and he excused himself to the bathroom.”

Mortifyingly, her date discovered it. 

“A few minutes passed by and he came out, and said he needed to talk with me.”

“He said that I shouldn’t have thrown away my pad because he might touch it when taking out the trash, and that it was gross and unsanitary.”

“Apparently, he saw that the trash looked different, unwrapped the toilet paper, and saw my used pad.”

“I was mortified. I apologized profusely.”

“He seemed to take it well. He just told me not to do it again, and if I needed to, just walk a few blocks to a nearby grocery store to change.”

“I left after that, not thinking too much of it.” 

The OP since started to rethink how her date reacted. 

“However, I’ve recounted the events to a few friends, and they think he’s a major a**hole.”

“I’m not entirely sure.”

“He was really kind about it and didn’t seem to get angry, but I’m also starting to see their point too.”

“It’s a normal body process for people with a uterus, and I agree, should be more normalized.”

“I’m just not sure what to think, and any judgment would be greatly appreciated.”

Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some said there was nothing for the OP to be ashamed of. 

“NTA. You didn’t put it bloody side up on the top. You wrapped it in toilet paper and pushed it into the trash. He had to go out of his way to find out what it was.”

“His rummaging through the trash and unwrapping it made his complaint that he might have touched it taking out the trash utterly ridiculous.”

“His behavior was really weird. Disturbingly weird.”NoiseProvesNothing

“Yeah… It doesn’t take a whole lot of imagination to figure out what a small roll of something wrapped in toilet paper in the bathroom bin when you have a girl over is. You don’t need to be Sherlock Holmes to deduce it’s a used pad/tampon.”

“Also, stuff someone put in the bathroom bin isn’t some great mystery you need to unravel. If someone puts something in the bin, it probably belongs in the bin.”

“Tf (the f**k) is wrong with this dude…?”Midi58076

“Yes, wtf (what the f**k) is wrong with him? He’s shaming you for being a woman essentially and I think it’s a big red flag. No pun intended.”

“I would cut him off. This is only a precursor to other things to come. If he’s suspicious of what you’re throwing in the trash, what else is he going to be suspicious of? You need to throw him in the trash.”racquel05

Others were really weirded out by the date noticing the trashcan and the grocery store. 

“I’m blown away by him thinking OP should ‘walk a few blocks to a grocery store’ to change it in the future.”

“That’s insane, no way I’d walk to a nearby business to change a pad, and seriously, he doesn’t even want it in the outside garbage?”

“If this guy is ever going to have a relationship with a woman, he needs to get over his issues. What would he do about a dirty diaper or someone being sick?”ray_of_f_sunshine

“What does he expect her to do when she stays overnight? Drive to the local 24-hour convenience at 3 AM to change her pad? This guy is not suited for a relationship, full stop.”alienabductionfan

“This is what really got to me! He wants her to go to the grocery store to change in the future!!! Sorry dude, there will be no next time!”

“And who in their right mind checks the trash after a guest uses the bathroom?????”

“Also, I always wash my hands after taking out the trash. I mean, always! After all, you just handled trash!”Waste-Phase-2857

“And who keeps track of their bathroom bin enough to notice there is some the new in it? Then unwrap it? This guy has a screw loose.”1931-babyface

The OP may have not thought much of her date’s behavior initially, but her friends and this subReddit had a lot to say.

Not only was it strange that her date discovered what was “different” in the trash, but for him to have a conversation with her and give her suggestions of where to deposit sanitary napkins outside of his home in the future is likely all sorts of problematic.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan lives in North Chicago, where she works as a poet, freelance writer, and editor. She received her MFA in Creative Writing from Western Michigan University, and her BA in English from Indiana University South Bend. Her poems have appeared in Rogue Agent, Whale Road Review, the James Franco Review, Thank You for Swallowing, and elsewhere; and her essays and book reviews have appeared with Memoir Mixtapes, The Rumpus, BookPage, and Motherly, among others. When she's not reading and writing, she's in her garden or spending time with her family. For more, visit www.mckenzielynntozan.com.