Most of the time, parents like to be on the same page about big choices in their children’s lives.
Thus, when one parent makes a major decision regarding their children without consulting the other parent first, the outcome might not always be pretty.
Such was the case for redditor Stock_Flimsy, who was less than pleased when their wife moved forward on a decision without fully consulting with them first.
But after being told that they overreacted, the original poster (OP) took to the subreddit “Am I the A**hole”, asking fellow redditors:
“AITA for blowing up at wife over piercing our daughters ears?”
The OP began by informing readers of a request from their wife, which they admitted to giving their approval for.
“My wife was out shopping with our two daughters yesterday (ages 10 and 12).”
“Whilst they were out I get a random text from my wife that they were planning on going to get their ears pierced again and if I was ok for the girls to get it done.”
“This was a bit random because was not discussed before but I thought there was no harm if they got a 2nd hole in each ear so wrote back that it was fine.”
The OP then revealed, however, that the full extent of their wife and daughters’ plan was not made clear.
“A few hours back they all returned.”
“They proudly showed me their ears and I could see they each had one ear blinged all up from bottom to top.”
“I was informed that they each got 6 more piercings in their ear and they were going on how they couldn’t wait to see my reaction.”
“Initially I thought they were fake and that it was some sort of practical joke which we always play on each other.”
“I therefore just played along and went to flick one of my daughter’s ear.”
“When I went to do this I noticed the backings of the earrings and got a big shock that they were actually pierced.”
“I blew up and started going off about how it was very irresponsible to get so many ear piercings.”
“In the spur of the moment I also said that it looks trashy and that our daughter will no longer get a job or go to a good college.”
“My wife and daughters just looked at me shocked saying why am I overreacting over just ear piercings when I said it was fine earlier.”
“I just responded that 7 in a single ear is way too much and disrespectful.”
“l also asked if they could remove them because I will be mad every time I see the earrings.”
“I feel betrayed and tricked by my wife and daughters.”
“Also they likely went to some cheap a** place in the mall where some teenager with no idea of hygiene probably did so many at once without thinking about the consequences.”
“I am not having a go at the place which did the piercings but would have expected better from my wife to steer in the right direction.”
“Everyone is just thinking I am just being silly and should get over it. “
Fellow redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation.
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
While a number of readers felt the OP was pretty clearly the a**hole in this particular situation, a sizable number seemed to feel that both the OP and their wife were at fault.
It was fairly unanimously agreed that the OP’s outburst was uncalled for and that their wife did not mislead them, it was merely a misunderstanding.
“If they ‘proudly showed [you] their ears’ then that implies that they believed you would be happy with what they did.”
“You say your wife asked about getting their ears ‘pierced again’ not that she asked about a 2nd hole.”
“Your misunderstanding of their intent does not mean they betrayed or tricked you.”
“I suspect the earrings had very little to do with you at all and were not the calculated slight like you seem to think.”
“As for the invective that you spouted at your tween daughters, you might be relieved to hear that colleges don’t, as a rule, bar eligible candidate from attending based on the number of piercings.”
“There are also plenty of jobs open to the frequently pierced.”
“And just who is being disrespected?”
“Unless the earrings were shaped to spell out some swear word then no one.”
“As for the mall parlor you guess they went to, if this were a genuine worry, you should have mentioned it when your wife initially called.”
“Even one hole is a risk at an unhygienic business.”
“I actually have to agree that I would not like my tween daughter with multiple piercings, but once the ‘damage’ was done, an outburst like this is going to cause far more harm than good.”
“You ARE going to have to get over it and stop acting like your daughters have ruined their lives for the sole purpose of annoying you.”
“YTA.” – ExistentialistTeapot
But many felt the OP was justified in saying their wife didn’t make clear exactly what they were doing, though still believed the way the OP subsequently behaved towards their wife and daughters was inexcusable.
“YTA-dude, it’s just ear piercings.”
“I get being annoyed with your wife for not being more specific, but dude, it’s just their ears.”
“They can always take them out if they choose to.” – Ruckus_Riot
“Your wife for not going to a professional for so many piercings.”
“You for being an archaic rage monster.”
“Apologize to your daughters.”
“Have a rational discussion with your wife.”
“I have 2 college degrees and a COO position.”
“I also have 9 piercings in both ears and visible tattoos.” – ondinemonsters
“You, your wife, and the piercer.”
“It’s incredibly unsafe to do that many at once, especially on a child.”
“Your wife for ‘punking’ you, and you for calling your children trashy and saying they won’t get a good job, I work with BRILLIANT doctors covered in piercings and tattoos.” – Strawberry1217
“I was prepared to say NTA after I heard they had gotten like 12 piercings total mostly cause that’s a lot of money if your wife didn’t talk to you about it first.”
“And I understand being upset with your wife because it sounded like they were just supposed to get 1 each.”
“But YTA here because of this line:”
“‘I also said that it looks trashy and that our daughter will no longer get a job or go to a good college.'”
“Piercings and Tattoos have almost no affect on you getting a job or getting into college these days.”- Welder1919.
Indeed, one can at least sympathize with the OP in that seeing your daughters come home with 6 piercings in their ears as opposed to one would be quite the surprise.
Being called “trashy” by a parent will be a hard memory for the OP’s children to erase.
Here’s hoping they can all reach a place of forgiveness and understanding.