Rules are rules.
That is a mantra many business people live by.
This can be especially true for union workers.
Unions fight long and hard for their pay and respect.
So members take their work very seriously.
Redditor Quantum_Dandy48 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally, he came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
He asked:
“AITA for refusing to do free work for my kids’ stepfather?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’m an electrician and a union member.”
“My ex and I share custody of our three kids.”
“Things are ok now, but the divorce last year was rough.”
“She got remarried in August to a guy after dating for six months, let’s call him ‘Brad.'”
“Here is where the issue kinda start.”
“A few weeks ago, Brad was at my daughter’s volleyball game, saying stuff about how ‘Real tradesmen don’t need to be in a union.’”
“He said this right in front of me, and I was wearing a shirt with my union logo on it.”
“He works in the trades also, but just does small non-union IT/ data network jobs.”
“I stayed calm and didn’t bite.”
“He is self-employed, and I know he barely makes a profit.”
“My license also allows me to do all of this kind of work at my pay rate.”
“This morning, my ex called me out of the blue.”
“She said a panel at one of Brad’s jobs needed some work and asked if I could ‘just swing by’ to check it out.”
“She said, ‘You’d only need your tools for a few minutes, just a quick favor, it’s not a big deal, and you would be technically working for Brad.'”
“So when my ex asked for a quick favor, I told her, ‘I charge everyone the same rate, and per union rules, I can’t just do a side job its gotta be done under my shop.'”
“She said, ‘You’re really gonna force this issue with my husband?’”
“I told her, ‘He can just have his own subcontractors or step up and buy, paying me as everyone else does.’”
“Now she’s saying I’m being petty and creating tension.”
“She’s claiming that I’m just making a stink cause he lives with the kids.”
“I told her that professionalism isn’t petty and that I don’t give free labor to people who disrespect my trade.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So AITA for refusing to do free work for my ex’s husband, even though it might make things awkward for my co-parenting relationship?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. If he were a real man, he would have called you himself, instead of having his wife beg for a favor.” ~ OkOffice3806
“Mayyyyybe Newbie didn’t know Ex was gonna call OP… but even giving that possible-not-plausible reach for the benefit of a doubt, Ex is still delusional, Newbie is still a pompous choice word, and OP is NTA.” ~ ElementalPartisan
“NTA. My husband is a non-union electrician.”
“A couple of years ago, his ex-wife bought an old house with good bones.”
“She called him wanting to see if he would spend a couple weekend moving lights and outlets for her.”
“She was going to buy the beer and pizza.”
“He sent her the names of a couple of places that do that stuff and update the old wires.”
“She was pissed he wouldn’t do it for free.” ~ RoseGold-Bubbles1333
“If real tradesmen don’t need a union, then why is he specifically reaching out to a union tradesman for help?”
“Surely one of his many non-union pros can handle this better and cheaper than you can /s. NTA.” ~ weirdaldank*itch
“This is more of a Karma-based sh*tuation, and it’s hilarious!”
“My next Union shirt printed would say ‘So good your wife calls me for ‘favors…'”
“You’re NTA brother, enjoy that stupidity!”
“Edit: to seal the deal, get them in your kid’s size.”
“Yes, I could be that petty.” ~ CalmInteraction884
“NTA. This is a crazy ask.”
“Personally, I dont allow ANYONE to try and schmooze, cajole, beg, entreat, or whine their way into getting me to call my fiancée for side jobs.”
“And he isn’t union.”
“It’s just not a good idea and ALWAYS a can of worms.”
“This is similar to asking an artist to do work for the ‘free exposure.'”
“The only answer is: Absolutely Not.”
“Pay people their rates or do it yourself!”
“Your EX is Way Way Out of Line for calling you like this.” ~ Accurate-Fuel5823
“NTA-regardless of you being in a union or his thoughts and opinions on unions, if he wants work done, he better be willing to pay someone to do it.”
“That is just how the world works.”
“You don’t owe anyone free labour just because they married someone.” ~ Impressive_Moment786
“NTA, but your ex-wife needs her head examined.” ~ Amandamargret
“NTA. I don’t know if you can get into trouble for a non-contracted job, but it sounds like maybe you could?”
“You’re not being petty, you’re expecting to be paid for your work.”
“Maybe you’d be willing to do her a favor if your kids were affected, but this has nothing to do with them.” ~ esmerelofchaos
“NTA. It bothers me when people expect family and close friends to do or give free things for them, and he’s not even that.”
“This is what you do for a living, why shouldn’t you be paid for your work?” ~ AlternativePound3432
“And it’s not even work for him.”
“It works for his employer, through him.”
“Bad enough that family and friends want work on their own homes from tradespeople for free, but OP’s ex is basically demanding OP do free labour for her husband’s employment.”
“If Brad is good enough at his job to have his job, he needs to do it himself.”
“Work on someone’s personal stuff might be okay as a favor.”
“Working for their job definitely is not.”
“And Brad doesn’t even have the guts to ask for it himself, after disrespecting OP’s craft.” ~ calling_water
“NTA. He did this on purpose to be an AH.”
“He despises unions and would love to see a union member he personally hates do the work for free.”
“If you did this, he would crow about it for years.”
“Kudos for refusing.” ~ TheRoadkillRapunzel
“NTA first, it’s a valid point about taking a side job going against your union.”
“It would be different if he was like an accountant and needed help and wanted a family ‘discount,’ but him working these various jobs take opportunities away from the union and weakens what the union can provide it’s members, and if you bail him out for free he’ll probably take on more jobs he shouldn’t on the assumption you’ll keep helping.”
“Also, he’s disrespectful of you and your work, so he shouldn’t get favors.”
“Also, the fact that your ex specifically slipped in that you’d be working for him makes me wonder why she had to say that expressly, like he wanted her to say that because even when asking for a favor from you, he needs to be top dog.”
“I say let him suffer the consequences of getting in over his head.” ~ SafetyFluid8535
“Definitely NTA, especially after that guy dissed unions, and you right to your face.”
“This is just a flex to get one over on you.”
“Stay far away!” ~ addled_sad342
“NTA, seems she’s trying to use the kids as a reason you should do it.”
“Services have costs.”
“If he isn’t willing to pay for your service, he can contact someone else.”
“Either way, nothing is free; you’re not in the wrong.” ~ Rejabium
“NTA. Why can’t he or one of his subcontractors do the job?”
“Something tells me they absolutely need a union electrician to sign off on this job, but he doesn’t want to pay for it.”
“Also, he is getting paid for this job he wants you to help him out on, so why does he need you to do him a favor and provide unpaid labor?” ~ Historical_Agent9426
“NTA – I will never understand why people are anti-union.”
“It is annoying for actors, because with a S[creen] A[ctors] G[uild] or Equity card we can’t do community projects without potentially facing issues, but even so, unions are fantastic.”
“Also, since it sounds like Brad is asking you to work on an electrical project for one of his clients, I would be really concerned about the potential for liability later, if God forbid anything went wrong.”
“Amongst my ex-in-laws, there are three hairdressers/barbers, and I actually dislike having them do my hair because they refuse payment.”
“It makes me uncomfortable to ask someone to work for free.”
“Your ex-wife should understand the various reasons why this is a bad idea.” ~ Lexi_November
“NTA. Remind her SHE’s the one forcing this issue by not dropping it, and she’s the one being petty and creating tension.”
“As soon as she stops trying to get you to work for free, this whole thing disappears, and if it’s such a small thing (that DEFINITELY won’t turn into a larger thing once you’re on site) it obviously doesn’t matter that much if you dont do it.” ~ dendromecion
“NTA – and aw f**k no… he doesn’t respect your work since your union right, so why does he want you to work for him?”
“As a wife, your ex can suck an egg on this one.”
“You owe Brad absolutely nothing, literally not anything but being cordial in front of the children.” ~ His_GoddessLove
“NTA. Ok. Can I assume he only does low voltage?”
“You’re in a whole different league than he is, and he knows it.”
“Just say no.”
“Tell him to go to the non-union electricians they usually use, who I bet cost pennies to your dollars.”
“The sad news here is that now you know his character and you’re going to have to work two times as hard to raise your kids on the right path.” ~ LhasaApsoSmile
Reddit has your back, OP.
Brad can fix his own panel.
They are trying to take advantage of you.
Your time is worth money.