Parents are not infallible. They make mistakes as much as the rest of us and have moments of being irresponsible. But sometimes they do really cross a line, and their children lose their temper.
But do they deserve it? The answer isn’t always yes.
Redditor commonnoone found himself in a situation where he was extremely annoyed with his mother after she called him for a ride in the middle of the night and then left him sitting there for 90 minutes.
Unclear if he’d done something wrong, he went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” for feedback from objective strangers.
He asked:
“AITA for leaving my mother stranded at a party?”
Our original poster, or OP, set up the situation that arose in the middle of the night.
“My mother calls me at 12 a.m asking me for a ride & to come pick her up from my aunt’s house because she had too much to drink. I, of course, said yes.”
“I arrive and call her to let her know I’m outside. She tells me if I can wait for a bit outside and although I’m tired and want nothing more than to get into bed with my puppy and sleep, I say yes.”
“I regret it as soon as she hangs up the phone. An hour goes by and I call her to let her know that I’m tired and if she can please hurry up.”
After this, OP’s temper got the best of him.
“She yells at me and tells me not to be impatient. I get pissed off and tell her if she isn’t outside in the next 30 minutes I’m leaving her and she can just stay over at her sister’s house.”
“She probably thought I was bluffing but as soon as that clock hit 1:30 a.m, I leave and go back to my apartment.”
“I get a call 40 minutes later from my mom asking where I am. I tell her that I left and she starts yelling at me again and tells me that I am an impatient a**hole.”
“I wake up the next day with texts from my siblings asking how I could just leave her and that I was an a** for doing that.”
“I think I had every right to leave but I will agree maybe I shouldn’t have just left her there considering she is my mother.”
“So Reddit, AITA?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Reddit agreed what his mom did was obnoxious.
“NTA. You had given her a clear deadline. Also, she was at your aunt’s house, not some random club.”
“It’s irrational for her or your siblings to expect you to wait around for 2 1/2 hours until she’s ready to leave. Why would she even call you if she didn’t want to leave at that time?”-Adara_Wyvern
“Oh, I’m certain her siblings didn’t hear about the waiting around for an hour and a half.”
“NTA. Tell your siblings the full story and let them know that from now on, all calls from your mother’s number between midnight and 6am will be forwarded to them so they can take care of her.”-SmokingInTheWindow
“You waited for 90 minutes. That’s seven minutes longer than the full-length film This Is Spinal Tap, which clocks in at a robust 83 minutes.”
“I’d say I’m shocked by your patience, but mostly I’m bowled over by your mother’s entitlement. One might say that it goes to 11! NTA.”-brian_sue
“NTA. Your mother is an adult and she was at a safe place (her sister’s house).”
“She chose to get drunk, she chose to stay there after her lift arrived, she chose to stay there even longer after you gave her a very clear timeframe of how long you would wait.”
“Personally I wouldn’t have been nice enough to pick her up in the first place!”-Sleepy_felines
“NTA. The only thing you did wrong was waiting for 1.5 hours. 5 min is appropriate.”
“Stop driving her. Your AH siblings can drive her, and wait for her all the hours they want.”
“Why would you drive someone that makes you wait outside? That’s ok for 3 min. One hour should get you an invitation to join them, except from AH.”
“But no need to cater to her alcohol problem, no need to drive her.”-krlrk
People thought OP’s mom was incredibly entitled for asking him to wait that long.
“NTA over two hours after she asked you to come is ridiculous, congrats on your patience.”
“My advice would be to not use it again with her, next time she wants a lift show up and then tell her you’ll wait for her for five minutes to get her possessions together and say goodbye but no longer than that.”
“She was incredibly disrespectful of your time, doesn’t matter if she’s your mother.”-caralouise01
“NTA. I personally would have already left by 1 a.m! My number one pet peeve is people being late or making you wait.”
“It’s so disrespectful in so many ways, to make you wait in the middle of the night when you could have waited at home at the very least.”
“Why didn’t your mom just call you at like 1 a.m -ish to ask for a lift?? Or at 12 am, she should have asked you if you could pick her up in about an hour or so!”-TheRollingCrohns
“NTA but you’re an idiot. She knows she can walk all over you and she did. An hour? When you first answered you should’ve said I’ll be there in x minutes. Be outside.”
“Failing that when she said she needed time you reply you have five minutes. Then you leave. An hour and a half… why do that to yourself?”
“Next time either say no or ironclad times and then airplane mode and blissful sleep. Be better OP. Be better.”-Demonslugg
“NTA, your mom is treating you like you have no other existence than to be her chauffeur.”
“Calling someone to come pick you up and then expecting then to wait another 2+ hours is completely unreasonable.”
“I bet she didn’t tell your siblings about that part… and it’s not like you abandoned her at a bar downtown ffs, she’s at her sister’s house!”
“Yeah, completely NTA, and next time she calls for a middle-of-the-night ride, tell her to get an uber!”-iopele
And many advised people set hard boundaries.
“I had the same situation with an ex friend (yes, this contributes to the ‘ex’ part) and her husband who I had agreed to take home from another ex friends house where they were having a dinner party.”
“I WISH I’d left them there, when they didn’t come out after me texting and calling to tell them I was there.”
“I had to go in and drag them out in the end, which was very anxiety inducing and made me feel like a total sh*t for spoiling their fun.”
“After I sat outside in the car waiting for them for half an hour at least. It’s rude and entitled behaviour, especially after midnight, NTA OP.”-JoobileeJoolz
“NTA I didn’t even have to read the whole thing. Your mom is absolutely an a**hole for making you wait.”
“It’s not your job to take care of her and if she can’t control herself and plan ahead, that’s her problem.”
“I told my mom after a particularly hard night that I refused to babysit her drunk self ever again. She’s now been sober for 3 years and I have no problem spending time with her.”-Fur_Momma_Cherry96
“NTA. If someone asks me to pick them up, it’s a drive there, the pick up, and the drive back. I can wait 15 minutes for them to grab their things and say goodbye, but that’s it.”
“I have never had anybody make me wait like that, and they wouldn’t dare, either.”-Jollydancer
“NTA. You were already generous at taking the call in the first place.”
“It also sounds as though your siblings were called as well, but they told her no, so for them to attempt to make you feel as though you did something wrong is just nuts IMO.”
“To wait for her over a hour is beyond kind and then on top of that, you gave her another 30 minutes. Your mother is an adult. She needs to act like it.”-NikkiIvan
Nobody has the right to make someone wait close to two hours for them, even if they are related.
Favors are favors for a reason—respect the people you ask favors from.