Carpooling has a lot of benefits. It’s better for the environment, it’s good bonding time with coworkers, it makes more sense financially. But if you don’t get along with the coworker who you are carpooling with, it can really be a nightmare for both of you.
This was the situation Redditor purpledoorchore found himself in with another coworker, who suddenly needed a ride one day. But purpledoorchore doesn’t like this guy, and didn’t want to be stuck in a car with him.
After a passive aggressive comment by his boss about the carpool situation, he went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” for feedback from objective strangers.
He asked:
“AITA for not giving my coworker a ride to work?”
Our original poster, or OP, starts by straight-up saying he does not like his coworker.
“I have this coworker Adam. I don’t like him and think he’s a jerk.”
“He’s the type that expects everyone else to pick up his slack, he’s late pretty often and just generally a pain. But he’s a kiss up so managers like him.”
OP was approached by the boss for a favor.
“Well Sunday my boss came up to me and said ‘you drive right?'”
“‘Yea…'”
“‘Like… you have your own car?'”
“‘Yea.’ I thought that he was going to have me run and get something, because they do that sometimes.”
“Then boss said ‘you and Adam live close to each other, would you mind giving him a ride to work tomorrow, his car broke down.'”
“I said ‘No, I can’t.'”
“Boss was like ‘Oh come on, it’s on the way anyway.'”
“I said ‘Nope sorry.’ I was trying to think of an excuse but I couldn’t.”
“Then he was like ‘We’re a team here. We help each other.'”
“I just went back to doing my work because I already said no twice. He finally sighed and walked away.”
Adam ended up having to call out.
“Then yesterday Adam had to call in because he didn’t have a ride. My boss made a passive aggressive comment that ‘if somebody had decided to be nice and give him a ride.’ I just acted like I didn’t hear him.”
“Honestly if it was anybody else I probably would have just picked them up on my way to work but Adam has never been anything but a self centered pain since I’ve known him.”
“I don’t think I owe someone like that a favor.”
“Someone else that works there and knows the boss asked me said it was petty for me to not help him out for one day and that boss thinks so too and just won’t say it.”
“AITA”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Reddit thinks that OP owes nothing to this guy.
“Nta. If the boss wanted him there that badly then he should have driven him there. It’s definitely not Ops fault he called out because you’re right he could have gotten an Uber or got on that bus.”
“Literally nothing was stopping the boss from picking him up. If someone isn’t willing to supply the ride or go out of their way themselves for someone then they shouldn’t be going up to their employees and expecting other to give people rides.”
“If he wants to talk about how ‘we are a team and help each other out’ then he needs to take one for the team and drive the guy himself. Op is definitely not the a**hole.”-CODE_NAME_DUCKY
“We had snow one year and where I live we rarely get snow. I didn’t have a proper car or tires for snow I had a sporty car at that point.”
“I told my manager I will gladly come in if someone picks me up and takes me home. He went out of his way and picked up 3 of us employees so we would have people to work that day.”
“We worked in a grocery store so you know we was gonna be busy and he didn’t want to be short staffed. So yea the boss could have picked him up he wanted him there bad enough! NTA”-PeanutButerJelly2020
“NTA. Indeed Adam is an adult, he should know how to make alternative arrangements. The one thing that kept going around in my mind is how exactly did the manager know that Adam and this guy lived close to each other.”
“Sounds like your manager went into personnel files to find someone that lives near Adam and you were the unlucky winner, which is a big no no at most companies.”
“I’d contact HR and make them aware of your manager’s abuse of power and contributing to a hostile work environment.”
“No where in your job description does it say ‘taxi driver.’ Good luck, walking on eggshells at work is never fun.”-RespectSharp3187
“OP is absolutely NTA and is in no way responsible for the dude’s transportation, but Uber and city buses are not always options.”
“Where I live there are no buses to take you into town and an Uber could cost around $40 one way to get you into town… so it might cost close to a day’s pay just to get to work.”
“Dude should have planned better and made solid arrangements 100%”-SL8Rgirl
And many people were noting how it wasn’t OP’s job to drive anybody to and from work.
“NTA. You getting paid to do it? No? Then it isn’t your f**king job. Boss wants to give him a ride, then the boss can drive his happy a** over and play chauffeur.”
“Sorry, not your job description.”-TheBenLuby1
“NTA, but Adam was NEVER planning on coming into work. The boss tried to find him a ride to overcome the excuses Adam was throwing at him.”
“If Adam was that desperate for a ride, he would have asked you or someone else himself, he would have taken an Uber, etc.”
“The only problem is, now the boss blames you for his absence, so Adam wins again! Next time, I would say ‘yes’ to call his bluff or have a really good excuse ready for why you can’t do it.”-JeepersCreepers74
“NTA. Your boss should not be asking you, it is inappropriate. He should have taken your answer and left you alone.”
“As well, it should say something that Adam didn’t have the respect to ask you himself, boss shouldn’t have gotten involved.”-coffeebean823113
“NTA. You said No. ‘No’ is a complete sentence.”
“If there were some kind of public transit issue keeping Adam from taking the bus, your employer could give him a cab chit or similar, if they really wanted to take responsibility for him getting to work.”
“Adam. What a baby. Can’t even ask you himself – has to get daddy boss to do it.”-theproblem_solver
And also that if the boss wanted this to happen so badly, he should have done it himself.
“NTA. Your car – your insurance – your responsibility.”
“If your boss wants to PAY you to give Adam rides, that’s one thing. To make you go out of your way to pick him up + then take him home? Your boss is the AH.”
“P.S. BS on the ‘We’re a team…’ Only if the boss wants you to do something!”-Candy4Evr
“Is the boss giving you gas money? Is he paying you on the clock for transporting a coworker? If not, he’s TA for trying to guilt trip you about performing work duties.”
“Which sounds to me like what you’re doing if you’re transporting a coworker to your mutual place of employment and the coworker isn’t a friend or family member but just someone you have a professional relationship with.”-Southsidebabygirl
“NTA to me, but your boss’s judgement is the one that actually affects your life, and it seems that he thinks differently.”
“I’m sorry, but you just screwed yourself over. It’s not right, it’s not ethical, but unfortunately that doesn’t really matter in the scheme of things.”
“I mean, at best, you can go to HR and say that your boss tried to force you to give a coworker a ride, and you refused, and now you’re worried about retaliation, but I don’t know how much help they’ll be.”-BroadElderberry
“NTA. But I think you missed a prime opportunity to open their eyes to how the rest of the employees see Adam.”
“I think you could have told the boss ‘look I know you like this guy but I don’t think you see how he treats everyone else or how he expects everyone to pick up his slack.’”
“And then start listing examples. Don’t be confrontational just an FYI frame of mind that ends with but yeah not going to give him a ride because I’m not spending any more time with him than I need to.”
“I’ve run into this a few times where a manager has a blind spot for a particular employee it was really rough when it once was a boss I was friends with and respected.”
“But he just could not see past the ass kisser. I did tell him the things this guy did (the usual taking other people’s work as his own, losing his temper when he was wrong and continued to argue, and general a**holery.”
“I didn’t expect anything (and really didn’t get anything) but I thought the boss should know because people like that cause low employee morale.”
“Eventually the person left because really when you’re that kind of an a** it chases you and they know it and leave before it catches up to them.”-lovebeingana**hole
Overall, it’s not only that OP is not at fault, it’s not really OP’s problem at all.
Hopefully that won’t impact OP’s future at his job.