Pranking and “testing” friendships and relationships is at an all-time high on Instagram and TikTok, but it seems that people are starting to push back against them.
Because they’re realizing that the Venn diagram of People Who Make Good Romantic Partners and People Who Enjoy Testing Their Partners isn’t exactly a circle, cringed the members of the “Am I Overreacting?” (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor felicityshore had been with her boyfriend for two years and generally enjoyed his company, except when it came to pranking them.
When he gave them an empty box as a present, expecting them to still pretend to be happy to receive it, the Original Poster (OP) realized their boyfriend was setting the bar too low for how he should treat someone he was supposed to love.
They asked the sub:
“Am I overreacting for being mad that my boyfriend ‘tested’ my reaction to a fake surprise?”
The OP was at the end of enjoying their boyfriend’s pranks.
“Last night, my boyfriend (30 Male) told me he had a surprise for me.”
“We’ve been together two years, and he loves doing little pranks, so I was half expecting something silly. He blindfolded me in our living room and said he had ‘something I’d waited for.'”
“I’m thinking maybe tickets, maybe something sweet.”
“He takes the blindfold off, and it’s an empty box.”
“Then he bursts out laughing and says, ‘Wow, you looked so disappointed. I just wanted to see if you’d still pretend to be happy.'”
“I told him that wasn’t funny, that he basically tricked me into showing disappointment so he could judge it.”
The OP was over it.
“He said it was ‘an experiment’ and that I ‘shouldn’t get mad at jokes.'”
“I tried explaining that it felt like emotional baiting, not humor.”
“He rolled his eyes and said I’m ‘too sensitive’ and that he’d hate to see me in a real stressful situation if I can’t take a harmless test.”
“I’ve been quiet since then. He texted today, saying ‘still mad about the psychology project?’ with a smile emoji.”
“I don’t know if I’m overreacting, but I genuinely feel hurt that he’d test my emotions like that for fun.”
“It’s making me rethink how safe I feel being open around him.”
“So Reddit, am I overreacting, or is that just messed up?”
“AIO?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You’re Overreacting
Some reassured the OP that this wasn’t a good “prank” or “experiment.”
“NOR. Most people are going to be pissed about a ‘surprise’ of an empty box.”
“Whatever he’s trying to do or prove here isn’t working.” – Fearless_Friend7447
“NOR. I don’t think it was actually the empty box OP is p**sed about; I think the upset is realizing you dated him and called him boyfriend.” – calminthedark
“Your disappointment should not be entertaining or funny to him. If someone loves you, they just want you to be happy. Nothing else.” – Riskyblondegirl
“Tell him that you have a surprise for him in the bedroom. When he arrives, already be asleep. See if he likes surprises of ‘nothing’ then.”
“This is not a funny prank. It’s confusing and mean, and it shouldn’t have happened.” – Dry_Prompt3182
“The text asking if I’m still mad with a smiley face referring to using me for a psychology project would be the end for me, if nothing else.” – Grilled_Cheese10
“It worked. HE failed the test. Time to go find a shiny spine and leave.” – Alternative-Dig-2066
“He’s an id**t. Looking forward to the surprise on his face when OP tells him she can’t be his girlfriend anymore since he thinks she’s his psychology test subject.” – Foolish-Pleasure99
Others encouraged the OP to leave their boyfriend if they didn’t intend to already.
“NOR. He is 30 years old, for f**k’s sake. I would call him a toddler, but even a toddler understands that you don’t promise someone a surprise and then give them an empty box.” – iTammie
“NOR, whatsoever. That is emotional manipulation, not a joke. You should get out now before he isolates you, cuts you off from your friends, and continues such manipulation, and starts to make you believe it’s what you deserve.” – Rowan-The-Writer
“Text him back, saying, ‘No, not MAD about the PSYCHOLOGY PROJECT anymore because that would require giving you the power to continue to emotionally abuse me. Instead, I have decided you’re not a safe or healthy person to be in a relationship with. So, we are done and over.'” – Bluntandfiesty
“He sounds emotionally immature. Like a real s**tbag of a person, if he cannot even comprehend how this made you feel. Sorry to say that. If he dismissed your feelings like that, I get why you can’t feel vulnerable in his presence.” – BossHeisenberg
“First of all, unless you’ve left it out, I don’t think you signed up to be the guinea pig in psychological experiments, did you?”
“It was not a harmless prank: it was an exercise in control, dominance, and above all, sadism.”
“I would absolutely do this if either I lived with him or had a lot of my stuff at his place: tell him that to show there’s no hard feelings, you’ll take him out to dinner and meet him at his favorite restaurants tonight, make it an early dinner so he’ll have to go straight from his work or something.”
“Find a way to do it so that he won’t be home, and while he’s out, heading to dinner and waiting for you, get all of your stuff out of the apartment and somewhere else or kick him out if it’s your place, but in any event, break up with him immediately, permanently, and no contact.”
“And when he starts the angry push back, before you block him, just say, ‘It’s an experiment I’m working on.’ NOR. F**k this guy.” – Ok-Imagination_1107
“NOR. This shows he is a cruel person.”
“If you live together: I’ll suggest a ‘trick’ in return. Start visiting home stores, furniture stores, and hardware stores. Look through closet stuff, lights, paint, etc. Maybe talk with some of the design and sales people. Badly ‘sneak’ a few samples home.”
“Tell him you are planning a surprise and need him to be out of town for a weekend. Or if he travels, wait for a weekend when he is away.”
“When he is gone, move out.”
“If you don’t live together, I’m debating between just breaking up, or setting a nice date and standing him up. Either way, you now know he has a cruel streak, and you have to decide if you are ok with that.” – Leading-Disaster5721
“So he wanted to test to see if he could get away with mistreatment and then judged your reaction? So reactive abuse was his goal, so he could either excuse himself from further bad behavior or so you’d react negatively, then he could pretend to be the victim.”
“Please don’t date people who compare a human reaction to a disrespectful situation to them plotting to get that reaction, those two things are not the same.” – dorkus23373
“You should be mad about being a psychology project. Are you a lab monkey? No, OK then, be mad. You did not sign up to be somebody’s lab rat.”
“Please don’t stick around because of the sunk cost fallacy; simply don’t sink that cost anymore. I can’t imagine this circus clown (oh my God, he’s 30) has any redeeming qualities that’ll make up for that nonsense.”
“This should give you the ick. I’m thinking he can do an experiment on you is double the ick. It’s dehumanizing.” – youngphi
“NOR. Tell him that you were testing him too. Testing to see how he handles it when he f**ked up and hurt you with his ‘pranks.'”
“His reaction shows you that he can’t see your side of things and isn’t able to sympathise with you. Instead, he makes jokes about your feelings. That’s hurtful, and you should think about the fact that he will be like this with your children, too.” – UnlikelyPossible8686
“Get the f**k out of that relationship immediately! What the f**k! Seriously, psychological project is what you’ve now become?”
“I don’t think you’re safe. Is his psychotic behavior a joke!?! Nobody jokes like this. A joke would be actually getting you something, then wrapping it up in a different box that it clearly isn’t. Or wrapping a small gift in a series of larger boxes, pranking the size of the gift and making you unwrap a bunch of boxes.”
“Curious if you’re younger than him. Because he’s psychologically breaking you down.”
“He thinks you’re pretending to be happy. So what, like he could gift wrap a turd and expect you to still pretend to like it? This person is extra f**ked up!”
“Love yourself MORE than this. Please! It will only get worse. You are 1OO% right to feel all that you are feeling. You’re not too sensitive. He’s a psycho. Do yourself and possible future family a favor and make sure he’s completely removed from your existence!”
“Get out. Take what you need and let the rest go. Being attached to someone like this is detrimental to your mental health and well-being. If you do leave, don’t go back there alone. He will only manipulate you into staying with his weird a**.”
“He baited you. Now he’s laughing at you for having feelings. He thinks you’re pretending to be happy as it is. He’s not okay.” – Stunning-Ad3377
“Real grown-up men don’t test their partners. That’s something only children do. You need to spend some serious time thinking if you really want to spend your life with this immature child who is impersonating an adult!” – Any_Pirate422
Trending tests and pranks with romantic partners might seem funny to some, but to many, they are degrading and questionable at best. If the OP’s boyfriend really cared about them, he’d reevaluate how he could bring what he found funny and what they found comfortable together in their relationship.