Finding the right name for your first child is always a challenge.
Even for people who had their first born’s name chosen more or less their entire life.
However, they may grow up to discover that their partner might have had other ideas when it came to names.
And even though it’s not their decision to make, friends and family often can’t help but share their own opinions as to what soon-to-be parents should name their children either.
Redditor User593768‘s family had an ongoing tradition when it came to names.
A tradition the original poster (OP) couldn’t wait to break when it came time to name his first child.
Unfortunately, when the OP’s family learned that his new son’s name would not be in keeping with the family tradition, their reaction was anything but understanding.
Wondering if he was being inconsiderate towards his family, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole”. (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not keeping up the family tradition?”
The OP explained why he found himself at odds with his family owing to his son’s new name:
“My (25 M[ale]) wife (24 F[emale]) gave birth to our son two weeks ago.”
“My family has had the tradition of naming the child months of the year for 5 generations on my mum’s side.”
“My name is December (I’ve shortened it to Dec hoping people will think it’s short for Declan or something normal), my brothers are called August (not so common in the UK) and July (poor guy, nothing you can do about that one) and my sisters are called April, June and May (not so bad).”
“My wife and I called our son Tobias.”
“We kept the name a secret until after he was born and we had signed the birth certificate so it couldn’t be changed.”
“When we told my parents a week ago, they were most certainly not happy.”
“Even though my dad has the nice normal name of Alex, he liked the tradition.”
“My sister, June, named her daughter March to keep with the tradition so my parents expected me to do the same.”
“My mum continually said that we should call the baby September for a girl and October for a boy throughout the pregnancy.”
“I never outright said I wasn’t going to because I know what lengths they would go to to make sure my baby would have a month as a name.”
“My brothers were on board when we told them, understanding growing up with the teasing.”
“My parents left after saying we were disrespecting my heritage by not following the tradition.”
“I told them I wasn’t going to name my child a ridiculous name because some old, long dead, crazy man decided months of the year would be good names and just because my mum was stupid enough to join him and his madness, didn’t mean I had to.”
“They stormed out and haven’t spoken to me since.”
“My sisters have said I should have just named him a month to keep the peace and I’m an a**hole for insulting my mum and her family.”
“I feel as though I’m just looking out for what’s best for my son.”
“My family seems to think my wife has ‘brainwashed’ me into calling him something normal even though I have never made it a secret that I hate my name.”
“So am I the a**hole?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for not giving his son a calendar-related name.
While some felt he could have handled the situation with a bit more grace, just about everyone agreed that the “month naming” tradition was his parents, not his, and he and his wife not only had every right to choose any name they wanted for their child but were also more than entitled to start traditions of their own:
“NTA.”
“Traditions like this deserve to be broken.”
“Your dead ancestors really do not give two sh*ts what you call your kids and are incapable of any disrespect from you.”
“Your parents are the only ones offended and it’s not your responsibility to keep the peace.”
“It’s theirs to respect your decision and try to move past it and have a functioning relationship with you.”
“Good for you for doing this btw.”- ReviewOk929
“NTA.”
“The boy options apart from August (and that makes me think of Augustus Gloop from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) are weak.”
“You’d go through life hating the name and he would probably go through life getting bullied.”
“Even as a middle name, I don’t see why you should be bullied into something you don’t want.”
“But let me get this straight – it isn’t even related to the month the child was born, given your Mum wanted September for a girl and October for a boy?”
“April, May and June are ok for girls, but only if the parents actually liked the names.”
“But the whole thing seems very random and kind of like a tradition that needs to just fade out.”
“Your son will thank you later and your mother will get over it eventually.”- KBobbetyBobbins
“NTA.”
“But you could have tried a different argument.”
“You married your wife.”
“She has a strong tradition of not naming any family member (even pets) to the months of the year, and you two indeed followed the family tradition – just not yours.”- LightPhotographer
“NTA.”
“It is your child.”
“Family traditions are not always a good thing.”- beastmanmode45
“NTA.”
“Your kid, your choice in names.”
“Also:”
“It’s not like you were breaking tradition by not naming him after a beloved, deceased relative (you’d still not be the ah if you did break that tradition).”
“With only 12 months and this going on for 5 generations, that must mean that there are so many duplicate names for different family members.”
“There is nothing wrong with that, but if it were me I would not want my child to be one of the 10 (or whatever) people named after a particular month.”- Hello_JustSayin
“NTA.”
“As always, the people who created and are raising the child get to choose the name.”
“And the people whining about tradition and disrespect can go kick rocks.”- buttercupgrump
“It’s his NAME but your sisters think you should just call him September or whatever to ‘keep the peace’?”
“Tell them they’re welcome to call their children carrot or office chair or beer can if it makes them happy but you and your wife actually love your baby so you’re giving him a name that won’t get him beaten up or bullied.”
“You have one nutty family, thankfully you survived with your common sense intact.”
“NTA.”- forgetregret1day
“Oh my good giddy aunt NTA.”
“Your child, your choice.”
“For what it is worth, I completely 100% agree with you OP.”
“ANY month is a terrible name for a boy, and for the girls, only a few match well enough.”
“I agree your dad can’t say much, given he hasn’t had to grow up with a bad name.”
“And ‘keeping the peace’ is fine with decisions that only affect yourself with consequences you are willing to bear, but to make your son go through his formative years with a name likely to have him ridiculed?”
“This is insane beyond belief.”
“You are VERY much NTA.”- Boddokki
“NTA.”
“One of my favorite comedians, Ralphie May, named his April and August, since those were the months they were born in, and since his last name was May, it kind of worked out.”
“RIP Ralphie.”
“You can name your child whatever you want, and your family has no say-so in the matter.”
“You chose a strong classic name for your son, one that won’t get him bullied, or picked on, as he goes through life.”
“If your family doesn’t understand that, that’s their problem, not yours.”- Srvntgrrl_789
“NTA.”
“You are not the a**hole and you control the magic golden ticket.”
“The baby!”
“You control access to the baby!”
“Anyone who wants to visit The Baby! will learn to stop mentioning the name or arguing about ridiculous traditions.”
“They can have all the feelings they want in the privacy of their own home but the new rule is that anyone who argues about the name will need to go home and try again in a week/month whatever you decide.”
“Now is a lovely time to establish a new family tradition of respecting each other’s boundaries.”
“Send them all a text that you are so excited to have them meet the baby but that anyone who tries to argue about the name in person, over text or by phone will be muted or asked to head home.”
“The prepare to practice.”
“After 5-10 tries I think they’ll catch on.”- capmanor1755
There’s nothing wrong with upholding family traditions.
As long as they are traditions that make everyone happy.
When this ceases to be the case, perhaps it’s time to reevaluate… and possibly start a new tradition.
Seeing how unhappy the OP and his brothers were with their names, the names of the OP’s family seem like a tradition that is badly in need of changing.