Everyone likes a good prank.
Or a good joke.
In fact there are entire shows built around pulling off pranks.
But people really need to know how to pull off a prank.
Case in point…
Redditor Sunshine34341 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for not attending the engagement dinner my future in-laws threw for me after my fiancée hid my engagement ring?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My fiancée M[ale] 31 proposed to me F[emale] 28 days ago.”
“He has this habit of joking around and pulling pranks from time to time.”
“It bothers me sometimes but I try to have patience.”
“His family wanted to throw us an engagement party at a restaurant.”
“I heard his mom talk about how expensive the place was, and how much money they paid for reservations so this clearly was a huge deal for them.”
“My fiancée and I were getting ready.”
“I noticed my engagement ring wasn’t where I left it before I entered the shower.”
“I freaked out and looked for it everywhere.”
“I asked my fiancée about it and he said he didn’t see it.”
“I freaked out and was running out of time for the party.”
“He sat there watching me almost losing my mind trying to find it, to the point where I started crying because without the ring, I couldn’t show up to the party.”
“I kept thinking about what his family would say and how they’d think I was irresponsible to lose the ring that is somewhat expensive.”
“I gave up looking and sat down and just cried in frustration.”
“Next thing I knew, my fiancée was standing in front of me laughing with his hand extended to me with the ring in it.”
“I asked where he found it and he could barely speak and say that he hid last minute before the party as a ‘prank.'”
“I was in shock.”
“He casually told me to get ready so we could ‘get there in time’ but I just sort of blew up on him and started yelling saying he hid the ring, made me freak out for 2 hours almost and almost made me miss the party.”
“He was like ‘relax, it was a prank okay? Don’t make a big deal out of it and ruin the evening.'”
“I told him I wasn’t going to the party and that if his family asked I would tell them it was because he hid my ring.”
“He freaked out and started begging me to let it go and just go with him but I refused and went into the bedroom, took my medication and stayed there.”
“He lost it and kept saying that I blew this out of proportion and that I ruined my own party and cost his family $$$$ and disrespected them by not attending.”
“His family found out and they were mad at him but also me for choosing to not attend and getting over it.”
“But I was in a horrible state emotionally and couldn’t handle being in public place after what happened.”
“He said that I’m ‘prone to crying’ and that I get emotional and cry over every little thing which isn’t ‘his fault’ basically calling me a drama queen.”
“I do tend to overreact sometimes but I genuinely was worried about losing the ring.”
“His family would have given me hell that’s for sure.”
“AITA for choosing to not go after he hid the ring?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“My sister, every single sentence of this comment sent shivers down my spine.”
“Get out, get out, get OUT while you do not have legally binding ties to this man.”
“It doesn’t matter if you’re the biggest drama queen in the entire world, there is no excuse for being deliberately cruel.”
“Making someone cry on purpose and then belittling them for crying is deliberately cruel.”
“I really, really hope you do not marry someone who is cruel to you.”
“Unless his family paid for the ring, it is absolutely none of their business whether you lost it.”
“They sound like very unpleasant people.”
“Honestly, and if you’re fiancée isn’t sticking up for you when they’re out of line, well. See point #1.” ~ nefarious_planet
“NTA. Please take a hard look and understand that his behavior is neither funny nor at all normal.”
“It was a show for him controlling you and enjoying your reaction.”
“This is not someone you marry.” ~ keegeen
“He watched her cry and panic for TWO WHOLE HOURS.”
“OP, NTA. RUN. Get away, be safe.”
“His family would have given you a hard time for losing the ring??”
“They are ALL abusive. RUN.” ~ No_Performance8733
“I like pulling pranks.”
“My whole family does too but we would never make it past 5 seconds.”
“Literally ‘Omg where’s your phone?'”
“Freeze in panic. ‘It’s here’ and then everyone laughs.”
“2 hours isn’t a prank. It’s mental torture.” ~ Empty-Masterpiece242
“NTA.”
“‘Relax, it was a prank okay? Don’t make a big deal out of it and ruin the evening.”
“This right here is gaslighting.”
“A ‘prank’ that results in loved one’s emotional and physical panic for hours is NOT FUNNY.”
“NOT OKAY. You did not ‘make’ a big deal out it – it IS a big deal that he likes to be cruel and finds it amusing to see you suffer.”
“HE ruined a special evening because HE wanted you to be stressed and suffering instead of wanting you to feel loved and happy as you deserved on such an occasion.”
“AND he disrespected and tainted the ring that is supposed to represent your unity and love for one another.”
“This is fully on him.”
“He made a mistake in believing that he could manipulate you into ‘relaxing’ about his cruelty, but you respect yourself too much to play along.”
“I’m proud of you OP for valuing yourself when he clearly does not value you.”
“I would never put that ring on ever again.”
“He ruined everything but at the end of the day you dodged a bullet.”
“He doesn’t deserve you.” ~ not_inacult
“Agreed NTA, but your fiancée is one OP.”
“As someone who also loves to prank, why in the hell did he not give it back the moment he saw she was upset!?”
“Little lone for 2 HOURS.”
“Not to mention that it’s just an awful prank to begin with!”
“Any idiot would understand that almost no one finds someone hiding precious things and acting like they’re lost funny.”
“Clearly OP’s fiancée doesn’t possess two brain cells to rub together to figure that out.”
“Pranks and jokes are only funny when EVERYONE is laughing, ESPECIALLY the person you made a joke of/pulled a prank on.”
“If they don’t find it funny, you just crossed a line, were mean and should apologize and never do it again.”
“If you keep doing it, that’s bullying.”
“If you tell them they are silly for not finding it funny too, that’s gaslighting.”
“People who pull this crap all the time because it is ‘funny’ are just baffling to me.”
“It’s not funny and you’re not a comedian for making people sob.” ~ AsharraR12
“When I was 15, I yelled at my 17 year old sister’s 20 year old boyfriend because he made her cry by pulling a prank and then laughed about it. His response?”
“‘It was a joke, I am so hurt and offended.'”
“My sister was angry at me for hurting his feelings.”
“30 years later, lots of therapy and on her 3rd but finally happy marriage, she tells me out of nowhere that I was right and he was an emotionally immature, emotionally abusive jerk.”
“He watched you cry and he thought it was funny!”
“HE THOUGHT YOUR DISTRESS WAS ENTERTAINING!!!”
“NTA, but please don’t marry him.” ~ Professional-Room300
“NTA. Two hours? A prank is 2 minutes.”
“You sure you want to stay with this man?”
“These pranks aren’t funny. He doesn’t stop.”
“He blames you when you don’t go along with his childish sense of humor.”
“So he doesn’t respect you. This isn’t a one-time thing.”
“Think about this.”
“Wait for the wedding, when he thinks it’s funny to make fun of you during the toast.” ~ CatJudgement
“NTA. Please reconsider marrying someone who could watch you panic and cry for TWO HOURS and LAUGH about it.”
“Even if it started off as an innocent joke (though personally, I think it’s not a great joke is only one party finds it funny), he kept it going waaaaaaay too long.” ~ thetinymole
“For two hours… he watched you suffer for two hours just for a ‘prank.'”
“Pranks are supposed to be funny for all involved, and it doesn’t sound like you have been having fun.”
“And he laughed even though you had a mental breakdown about this… that has to be malicious.”
“Maybe this was a wake up call.”
“This won’t be the last prank he pulls and who knows what lengths he will go to get the last laugh.”
“Since that’s all that matters to him, even if its at your expense. NTA.” ~ hulijing
Well OP, Reddit is here for you.
It sounds like you have A LOT to think about and consider.
Take your time and maybe find a therapist.
Good luck.