When we have no choice but to deliver some bad news, we’d prefer to do it in private.
Unfortunately, sometimes circumstances simply don’t allow for that convenience.
One Redditor discovered that the hard way. She explained everything in a post on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.
The Original Post (OP), known as Entire_Caterpillar55 on the site, covered the key details in the post’s title:
“AITA for firing my nanny for faking sick to get out of working?”
OP began by recalling the start of the arrangement.
“My husband and I hired a nanny back in August to care for our kids while we’re working.”
“The kids are on a weird schedule at school where they don’t attend every day or all day so we hired a full-time nanny, ‘Marie.’ “
There were, however, some growing pains.
“We liked Marie, despite some issues with her following guidelines we’d discussed when we hired her: she let the kids have way too much screen time, she spent more time on her phone than with the kids…”
“…she would make messes and let the kids makes messes and she wouldn’t clean up after them, she had friends over without letting us know, she let the kids pig out on junk food instead of feeding them real food.”
“All of this had been discussed when we hired her, and we saw it all when we reviewed our security cam footage, so we sat her down about three different times and gave her official warnings each time.”
“She’d improve for a while each time but go back to the way she’d been before.”
Then a legitimate problem came along.
“Three days Marie called out, said she was really sick, so I told her to get better and I’d call out from work to be with the kids.”
“I’m in the middle of a big project at work and people not coming hurt everyone but I’m a mom first and I don’t expect Marie to take care of the kids if she feels sick so I called out.”
Until what happened next.
“The next day it was really hot out and the local water park is running an off-season special with cheap tickets so I took the kids and after a while we ran into Marie with a group of her friends.”
“I really couldn’t say anything except I hoped she was feeling better.”
“Marie started to apologize and told me that her best friend had gotten tickets to the park and she wanted to go and she didn’t think I’d have given her the day off.”
OP had no choice but to hit Marie with some real talk.
“I told her I would have if only she’d told me the truth.”
“I explained to her that she’d lied to me and made me call out at a time that was really inconvenient and if she’d just told me the truth then I’d have understood and I would have been happy to give her the day off and call out myself, it’s the fact that she lied to me is what upset me.”
This led to some accountability.
“I added the lie to her other warnings and decided she wasn’t worth keeping employed.”
“My husband and I pay well-above market rate and we provide everything, all she needed to do was take care of the kids and follow the few rules we set.”
“I took her aside and really quietly and as kindly as possible explained this to her and told her that I’d pay her for the whole week but she was fired.”
That, however, would be the last quiet thing.
“Marie started crying and her friends figured out what was happening. They called me a bi**, a Karen, a monster.”
“My kids got upset so I took them and left. Marie has been blowing my phone up with apologies and begging for another chance.”
“Some of my friends say I should have given her another chance and that firing her was an overreaction.”
“Was I an a**hole?”
Later, OP added a brief update to offer a bit more rationale.
“EDIT: Marie is not some teenager, she’s a 26 year old woman with a a degree in Early Childhood Education and some other certifications/licenses related to the field.”
“She’s had one previous long-term nannying job, classroom experience, and she has several younger siblings and relatives and an extensive babysitting career, all of this I verified, along with a good review from her former position.”
“I had no reason to suspect she was less than she presented.”
Most Redditors had zero problem with OP’s approach.
“NTA. The stuff you mention is enough cause to fire her alone. Most business places have a 3 write-ups and you’re fired policy.”
“She’s gone beyond this, by lying to you about being sick so she wouldn’t have to work, and got caught red-handed. She’d be fired by anyone else for this no matter what field she worked in.” — zeiaxar
“NTA. She had multiple warnings (which is generous…part of the job is following the rules set by the parents…I would’ve fired her sooner). Also, even though she lied, you generously offered severance pay.”
“She sounds too immature to be a nanny.” — NinjaBabaMama
“NTA. In most jobs, if an employee repeatedly disregards their employer’s direct instructions and then gets caught lying when calling out, they would be fired.”
“Why would your nanny expect to be treated differently?” — AlmostSouthern
Some felt the problems went far beyond the day of hooky.
“NTA – I was a nanny for many families and her behavior is appalling. I would always clean up above and beyond – dishes, laundry, etc.”
“Not following the parents set guidelines is extremely disrespectful. Having her friends over to your home without telling you is too much on its own!”
“I’m honestly shocked you didn’t fire her sooner” — Ivymoon89
“Look, the moment she had unvetted strangers over at your house around your children without your permission, you would have had grounds to fire her.”
“In my opinion, you gave her too many chances to begin with. NTA and good riddance.” — Acomplished-Yam2330
“NTA – it sounds like she had already been spoken to 3 times and her behavior and attitude was not changing. She then took 3 days off by saying she was sick, but instead she was out with friends.”
“In the real world if she had done that she would have been fired. Her second chance had already come and gone.” — PurpleBugBull
With all this commentary now top of mind, OP can keep her sights set on the future. First order of business: find a new nanny.