Some roommates overstep and take other people’s food without asking.
Other roommates refuse to share and keep their food under lock and key.
There is a rare set-up where everyone smiles and shares everything.
But life isn’t “Three’s Company.”
Food is food… it can be very personal.
Redditor SugarDaddyX2 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for not letting my roommate eat my groceries after they ‘forgot their wallet?'”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I live with a roommate who came home late and said they had forgotten their wallet at work.”
“They asked if they could just grab some of my food, ‘this one time.'”
“I said no.”
“I don’t like lending food, it’s not just money, it’s that I plan my meals and buy specific things for myself.”
“They got really annoyed and said I was being ‘petty’ and ‘not a friend.’”
“They ended up ordering takeout but kept sulking for the rest of the night.”
“The next day, they told our other roommate I was being selfish, and now everyone’s giving me side eyes.’
“I don’t feel like I did anything wrong.”
“I’m happy to help in emergencies, but forgetting your wallet isn’t really an emergency.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“If they can order takeout, why not just pay you back?
“Sounds like they wanted free food…”
“NTA for standing up for yourself and your pre-prepped food.” ~ Purple-Haku
“They probably wanted food that was already ready.”
“They didn’t want to have to cook anything that they had at their house, which is why they ordered takeout instead.” ~ Ericameria
“OP didn’t just say they had random groceries and said no.”
“They actually meal plan and buy groceries accordingly.”
“There isn’t ‘spare food’ in the fridge; it was all accounted for.”
“Giving the roommate that food would cause a disruption in the OP’s plan for at least a few days, if not the week.”
“And just ‘paying OP back’ is insufficient recompense for the inconvenience.”
“And what the hell does ‘forgetting my wallet at work’ have to do with eating a roommate’s food?”
“They were still able to order takeout (presumably via an app).”
“If they hadn’t forgotten their wallet, what would they have done instead?”
“Gone grocery shopping?”
“There is probably an app for that, too.” ~ TalFidelis
“He was not in need as he was able to order takeout.”
“It was selfish of the roommate to put OP in this situation.”
“As someone who plans meals and relies on leftovers, it’s absolutely infuriating if someone messes with your plans.” ~ bouldering_fan
“Patterns start with a first time.”
“If you’ve left your wallet behind somewhere but can order takeout, you can order groceries.”
“I don’t quite understand how the roommate leaving their wallet somewhere means they don’t have groceries and need some of OP’s.”
“I’m leaning towards this never happened and is a bot post.”
“It hits too many of the typical things for a bot.”
“You are not entitled to another person’s anything.”
“You can always ask, and the person can always say no.”
“OP had a reason for saying no.”
“YOU might not agree with that reason, but it was reason enough for OP.” ~ Kayback2
“But they weren’t in need.”
“It wasn’t like the roommate ran out of money; he just wanted to do a power move or something.”
“He was clearly capable of ordering takeout, and I suspect that even if he forgot his wallet, he didn’t forget his phone.”
“Most people have some sort of digital wallet with their debit and credit cards loaded onto it these days, so it’s not as if he was on dire need.”
“And if he was really that hungry and in need (actual need), then he would have just eaten the sandwich/ toast unless that was something he was allergic to.”
“OP is NTA because the roommate was never ‘in need.'”
“Would it have been nice for OP to offer their food? Sure!”
“Do they have to when a roommate has other means of getting their own food, or do they have to in general?
“No, they don’t!” ~ WhiteAppleRum
“NTA, while I understand a roommate not having their wallet… did they literally not have ANY food in the house to eat when they got home?”
“It sounds manipulative to me.” ~ moonchylde
“NTA – you are within your rights to say now, but to expect no consequences of said actions is just silly, not that I’m saying those deserve consequences to begin with.’
“But next time, if you no longer feel comfortable saying no or wish to actually share food, I’d demand them to replace the items they ate by the next day, and if they don’t, then that is their one and only warning, and they wouldn’t share again.” ~ somebodyhere11
“I just can’t imagine a scenario where a friend or roommate needed help or food, I had the means to help them, yet I refused.”
“If it’s someone who constantly abuses your generosity, or if it’s someone who refuses to reciprocate, then ok.”
“But this was never implied.”
“This is how people build a community.’
‘You don’t know it now, but there will be a time when you desperately need someone’s help.”
“Whether it’s food, money, a ride, or someone to assist or visit you in the hospital, you’ll need to rely on others.”
“Don’t burn all of your bridges because you think you have the moral high ground.” ~ lwebb5520
“You’re NTA for it, but you’re also not really being kind.”
“It doesn’t seem like that big of an ask if it’s the first time, which makes it so you’re someone I probably wouldn’t wanna be friends with, so I kinda get where your roommates are coming from.” ~ yoloxolo
“NTA. It seems like they didn’t want to spend the money or cook and thought they could have some of your food instead.”
“And most people can even buy groceries online, you don’t really need your wallet since banking info is also typically all on your phone now.” ~ Illustrious_Crab2391
“I’m going to say NTA because you were within your rights to say no.”
“But, I’d expect there to be some consequences from this.”
“Your roommates will remember this moment and might not let you borrow their stuff.” ~ Known-Plane7349
“NTA, who doesn’t have a virtual wallet, or they could have at least used their phone to send you money, and you order what they need.” ~ Prodigyjojo
“NTA. I don’t understand why the roommate is so pi**y since they were able to order food.”
“Like if they’d been starving and had no way to get ANYTHING to eat, then that’s one thing, but they clearly were able to feed themselves.’
“I don’t even care if it’s just that they didn’t want to spend the extra money.”
“If your money is super tight, you’d better be VERY aware of where your wallet is at all times, being an adult means taking responsibility for things like that.” ~ sarahmegatron
“Forgetting your wallet is an emergency, but I guess he did have other options?”
“I don’t know, the strong reaction is just weird here.”
“Feels like we’re missing some context, like maybe he’s helped you out with things, so this was your chance to reciprocate.”
“Maybe he just needed the support while he was freaking out, and your response came off colder than intended.”
“I guess NAH?” ~ runlikeitsdisney
“NTA. Even if they left their wallet at work, these days it is easy to do bank transfers, Cash App, etc.”
“They were hoping for free food that they didn’t need to cook.”
“Groceries are really expensive these days, and we don’t want someone to mooch off us.” ~ needabook55
“NTA, if the roommate has the money to order food, then they have the resources to get groceries too.”
“Maybe not a lot, but enough to hold them over until they can get their wallet. 🤷🏽♀️”
“It would be different if they had absolutely no money and no way to eat, then of course I think OP should help someone in need for at least one meal.”
“But that’s not the case; the roommate was literally able to order food, so they were good.” ~ u_Ux811
“NTA. If the roommate could order food, there’s no reason for them to ask you for food.”
“And the entitlement is obvious because they badmouthed you for saying no instead of just accepting your answer.” ~ OddImprovement6490
“As a woman, I never give men free food that I have prepared.”
“It’s never a one-time thing.’
“It becomes this weird sense of entitlement.”
“You do it better, so you should share.”
“What if I pay you to cook for me, blah, blah, blah?”
“She knows her roommate better than us, and she knows his personality.”
“She told him no for a reason. NTA.” ~ bluepvtstorm
“NTA, if they can order food, they can order groceries.” ~ Ok-Curve-2888
“NTA, some people do share food, and some don’t, and the roommate clearly had other means.”
“They can side eye, but you paid and planned.” ~ blackwillow-99
OP came back to chat…
“There are some things I forgot y’all.”
“First, I always ask them if they need any groceries in the house when I go shopping.”
“I just ask to be paid back for it, and they decline every time.”
“Second, I told him we have bread for toast or a sandwich, and he decided to order takeout.”
“I am getting absolutely chewed up in the comments 😂, but that’s ok, I love hearing everyone’s opinions and reactions and seeing more outcomes I could have or should have done and will consider doing in the future.”
Most of Reddit is with you, OP.
This is your specially prepared food.
If your roommate could order food, why didn’t he just do that from the start?
You may have an uncomfortable living situation for a bit.
But you had every right to protect your food.
Good Luck.