We always want to help our friends when they are in a bind.
Sometimes, however, helping them is not possible, owing to their problems’ severity.
Unfortunately, these same friends aren’t always understanding of these circumstances and don’t take kindly to our telling them we can’t help them.
Even in extreme situations, helping them would require us to break the law.
Redditor annjw78 recently enjoyed a party with some of her friends, including one friend who shares an apartment building with them.
Unfortunately, the party ended with the original poster (OP)’s neighbor/friend finding themself in very serious trouble.
When this same friend asked the OP for help, the OP did not feel comfortable offering the sort of help her friend was asking for.
After being scolded by her friend group for her behavior, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not claiming my friends mistake on my insurance?”
The OP explained why she did not feel comfortable coming to her friend’s rescue:
“I (26 F[emale]) and my friend from college (26 F) both moved into the same apartment building.”
“She lives on the floor above mine.”
“One weekend she put me along with a bunch of our mutual friends in a group chat because she wanted to have a barbecue on our roof.”
“She has hosted many before, but this would be the first one I ever attended.”
“Because I don’t eat red meat I did not eat anything that was cooked on the grill and only brought chips a bottle and paper plates.”
“When the day was over, the group of us went downstairs to watch a reality show.”
“My friend who lives in my building and the girl who owned the grill discussed that they would leave the grill to cool off.”
“Once the reality show it was over, I went back to my apartment and went to sleep.”
“The next day everyone in my building receives an email saying that there was a fire on the roof last night because someone dumped coals in the trashcan on the roof and they re-lit due to the wind.”
“I took a screenshot of the email and sent it to my friend who then put it in the group chat of everyone.”
“Her and our other friend, who owned the grill, told us that they decided to take the grill home the same day because they didn’t wanna have to come back and get it the next day.”
“So the girl in my building gave the grill owner her keys to go get the grill on the roof and the grill owner decided that it would be the best thing to just toss the coals into the trashcan on the roof.”
“Our building requires multiple key taps to get on and off the roof, and they also have cameras, so they immediately told my friend in my building she was responsible since it was her guest using her keys.”
“A week later, my friend came to me and asked me to put it on my insurance since she nor the grill owner, had renters insurance.”
“I spoke with a few lawyers and my old insurance agent, and they all said that this would be fraud.”
“So I told my friend I did not feel comfortable doing so.”
“Another week went by, and she asked me again because she believed that she would have to go bankrupt over the situation (she did not).”
“I again said no because I did not feel comfortable and reiterated that I was told that this would be fraud.”
“From then, she started to run a smear campaign, saying that I was the bad friend and all of our friend group stopped talking to me because they said that I should’ve at least tried to put it on my insurance.”
“They now all want me to apologize to all of them and work for their friendship again since they believe that I was in the wrong but I feel like I didn’t do any wrong.”
“So AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to commit insurance fraud for her friend.
Everyone agreed that no friend was worth breaking the law for, especially this friend who didn’t seem to show any concern for the consequences the OP might face for making a fraudulent insurance claim:
“NTA.”
“Does this friend really want you to commit a criminal act to save her skin?”
“Being found guilty of insurance fraud is a big freaking deal.”
“On top of that, it would be DUMB because the insurance company is definitely going to do basic due diligence to determine your role in the incident and would most likely find it was not your key nor you involved in the act that started the fire.”
“So it would be a lose-lose.”
“This has told you everything you need to know about your friend.”
“Her behavior is disgusting.”
“Lastly, this was important for them all to learn… from a fire safety standpoint and also from a personal responsibility/liability standpoint.”
“Your friend now knows to operate a little more carefully with who she provides her keys to.”- owls_and_cardinals
“Wow, sounds like you just cut a bunch of cancer out of your life!”
“Congratulations!”
“Your lawyers TOLD YOU it’s fraud.”
“Why haven’t you said THOSE WORDS to these people?”
“If they still want you to commit fraud, explain to them you’re NOT a stupid criminal and it’s not your fault someone couldn’t use common sense handling a grill and HOT COALS.”
“They made these plans, they planned poorly, they damaged the roof and THEY’RE RESPONSIBLE.”
“Not one of those incredibly stupid, short-sighted decisions involved you.”
“Furthermore, doesn’t your complex MAKE YOU provide insurance before moving in?”
“She just didn’t get any and wants other people to cover her irresponsibility?”
“I don’t know what’s worse here: dumping smoldering coals into a trash can you KNOW is filled with flammable material knowingly, or trying to blame the woman who didn’t eat anything off the damn grill, because she won’t cover your stupidity.”
“You’re NTA, in any way.”
“Those two girls owe you an apology first, then the rest can apologize for their sheep behavior.”
“They’re ALL in the wrong.”- _The_KoJo_
“NTA.”
“‘Sorry, I spoke to a lawyer and he advised me against committing insurance fraud’.”
“And get better friends.”- ProfessorDistinct835
“Wow, NTA.”
“And you DID ‘try’, as in you looked into it, found out you can’t in fact do it otherwise it would be INSURANCE FRAUD so it was a non-starter.”
“Ask any of these friends that if you got caught for fraud, they’d sign a contract saying they’d pay up whatever fine you were charged and cover any hike in your insurance premium.”
“That would shut them up.”
“Or ask if any of THEM had insurance coverage that they could just SAY the fire was at their place instead and try to pass it through.”
“Oh right, that would be lying/fraud too, and I”m sure they don’t want to do that.”- LiveKindly01
“Are you really asking if you are the AH for not committing insurance fraud after lawyers told you not to do so?”
“Obviously NTA. Not every person you hang out with is actually your friend.”
“If you need to ‘work’ to regain their friendship because you wouldn’t commit a crime, they aren’t worth your time.”- FatChance68
“NTA, duh.”
“She’s a sh*t friend.”
“When people f*ck up, they need to take accountability.”
“Besides…apartment complex already decided who was liable-HER.”
“Damn, you need better friends.”- Forsaken-Sink3345
“NTA.”
“Never commit fraud.”- FinnFinnFinnegan
“NTA.”
“Fraud is bad.”
“Your friend is out to lunch to think asking you to commit fraud is okay.”
“You need to be blunt and tell people that you checked with a lawyer and you’re not willing to risk criminal charges to save her some money.”
“Getting insurance is a basic point of adulting.”
“If she chooses not to protect herself, that’s on her.”- giantbrownguy
“NTA.”
“Not your party, not your grill, not your keys, not your responsibility in any way whatsoever.”
“I’d show the group chat what the penalty for fraud is so they understand what a hugely illegal thing they’re asking you do do.”- Pleasant-Detritus
One can only hope that the OP’s friend is innocent enough not to realize that committing insurance fraud could land the OP and herself in jail.
Otherwise, she would never have made such a ridiculous request.
That being said, if this OP’s friend, and every member of this so-called friend group, were aware of the consequences the OP could face for making a false insurance claim, then perhaps the OP should follow the advice of several of the above posters, and find better friends…