As our society, technology, and entertainment options progress, there are far more types of jobs to choose from than there used to be.
But there are some jobs that judgmental people will deem as more honorable than others, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor TheCornStarMum did not actively disclose her line of work to most people, including the people present at a fundraiser she had organized.
When a friend announced her line of work at the event in order to shame her, the Original Poster (OP) decided that their friendship was over.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for humiliating my friend at my fundraiser because she outed me?”
The OP’s friend ruined an important fundraiser event.
“I was at a fairly large fundraiser I organized tonight, and it got completely ruined by my ex-friend (let’s call her Jenna).”
“I’m quite open with my friends about my line of work (sex work), but I’m not open about it with family and those I don’t know well.”
“During the event, I was talking to a group and Jenna blurted out, ‘She can donate so much because she makes so much money making porn.'”
“I was stunned. It became incredibly awkward.”
The comment led to a serious argument.
“I pulled Jenna aside and asked her what the h**l that was.”
“She said it wasn’t a big deal.”
“I told her it was a big deal to me. It’s not her information to share.”
“She tried dismissing it and I got angry. I told her to leave. It became a heated argument.”
“After some back and forth, I told her that at least I work for my money and don’t need a rich partner that I don’t love to get the lifestyle I want (that is true; she told me in the past she’s only with her boyfriend because he’s rich).”
“She still refused to leave and continued to cause a scene.”
“Eventually, I called security and had her kicked out.”
Their argument had consequences.
“After the event, I checked my phone. The argument we had got recorded, but only from part way through, so the bit about my work is missing, but there is the part with what I said about her partner and her being kicked out. It had been shared within our circle a lot.”
“Jenna has since blown up my phone. She is furious. Apparently, her boyfriend saw it and broke up with her. She told me I humiliated her and ruined her relationship.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP she wasn’t the one who made a scene or recroded the video.
“NTA. You didn’t make or share the video. She could have apologized to you rather than double down and justify her bad behavior, but instead, she made a scene.”
“She could have left after you made it clear her behavior was unacceptable, but instead she continued the scene. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”
“Kudos to you for standing up for yourself rather than shrinking when she embarrassed you.” – Bubbly_Chicken_9358
“NTA on any front.”
“She put your business out there in the world, so you put her business out there too. it’s not your fault that her relationship was built on lies. They were bound to break up anyway; relationships like those don’t last long.” – midnight_sky1213
“NTA. F**k around and find out! Jenna learned that the hard way! I have no sympathy for Jenna. She lost her man and her ‘friend’ because she was horrible! What she did was very intentional and designed to be hurtful. With friends like Jenna, you don’t need enemies!” – PunIntended1234
“NTA. I mean, she had to learn eventually how not to share other people’s information like that and what can happen if you do.” – Sicadoll
“NTA. she exposed something private about you. She is also suffering the consequences of being caught as a leech who’s only in a loveless relationship for money, which is directly a product of her sharing something so private about you.” – tophiii
“NTA. If her boyfriend has money money, he didn’t dump her because he found out she’s with him for that (he knows already, I’m sure). Rather, he dumped her because her immaturity and volatility could cost him and his family in the future, so he’d better cut that tie now.” – WarhammerRyan
“NTA. Jenna is the type of friend who will put your life on blast just for her benefit.”
“You don’t need her in your life, so please let that ‘friend’ go…”
“Also, I’m glad her boyfriend broke up with her gold-digging self!” – Yougorockstar
“NTA. No public outing is okay. The recording was accidental, right? She ruined things for herself. Sounds like you’re better off without her.” – 5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor
“NTA. ‘For all who draw the sword will die by the sword.'”
“She decided to share sensible information that was clearly meant to be private. She knew that sharing that would be an embarrassment to you.”
“You just gave her a taste of her own medicine. Maybe now that she has lost her sugar daddy, she will have learned her lesson and will be more mindful of sharing sensible personal information.” – razenha
“NTA.”
“Amazing how when she blurts out personal info about you, it’s not a big deal; but when something personal comes out about her, she’s humiliated.” – KuriousKel
“NTA. There was no reason for Jenna to say that. If she just HAD to speak and hear her own voice in that moment, she could’ve just said that you work hard, but she had to throw in a shady comment. She knew what she was doing.”
“If it was genuinely a mistake, she would have apologized profusely, but instead, she doubled down and said it wasn’t a big deal. She outed you in front of others, at YOUR event. You pulled her aside to talk privately.”
“It’s not your fault it was recorded and shared. She deserves it for being a gold-digging bad person.” – Exotic_Plankton9579
“NTA. And she’s such a hypocrite. She’s okay with putting your business out there but can’t take it when her own gets put out by you. I’m glad her boyfriend broke up with her; maybe he can find someone that’s not a golddigger.” – Stray1_cat
“NTA. If it wasn’t a big deal, why did she share it? And why did she SO vehemently defend sharing it, to the point of having to be removed by security? She has serious issues. Be thankful you dodged any future bullets because she’s definitely carrying a weapon with your name on it.” – MyHairs0nFire23
Others were leaning NTA, as well, but found some fault with the OP’s behavior.
“ESH, but technically NTA.”
“She, obviously, for starting this whole thing, sharing information that wasn’t hers to share in a way that is obviously catty and jealous, and refusing to leave afterward.”
“You apparently organized this fundraiser, so you should have acted way more professionally. Pulling her aside, asking what the hell, saying that it wasn’t her info to share, and asking her to leave was great. But when she didn’t leave, you should have immediately called security and had her escorted out instead of engaging in an argument and saying stuff about her boyfriend.”
“Whoever recorded and shared your argument online for sh*ts and giggles. People have no sense of ‘this is not my business, nor does it belong online’ these days.” – Constellation-88
“WELL, FRANKLY… The only actual secret is one you never tell anyone. Likely, everyone knew you were a porn worker (too juicy to keep it to oneself) and they were quiet about it.”
“However, your friend didn’t need to let the cat out of the bag for any reason, even if everyone in the room knew all the others knew. They all seemed to have agreed that the proper etiquette was to not bring it up, until your dumb friend did.”
“S**T LIKE THAT… is a total deal-breaker. Blabbing sensitive information, cheating with your boyfriend or girlfriend, spreading info or false info to hurt you and you find out about it, and not inviting you to important events like weddings/funerals, are ‘cut bait’ social felonies.”
“With people like that in your life, if it’s not THIS stupid s**t that ruins your life, just give them time, they’ll pounce on many more if you let them.”
“Breakin’ up is hard to do, but this one is deserving, and totally block all electronic communication AND by proxy. Tell your friends you don’t want to hear from her ever again through them, it’s over.” – Jim_Anchower
The subReddit was overwhelmingly in favor of the OP having to remove her friend from the event, even including the comments she made about Jenna’s dating history. There were two Redditors who pointed out how the OP might have behaved in a perfect world, but even they offered an NTA rating.
While it might be unfortunate that a video was released, that was not the OP’s doing, and Jenna seemed to have otherwise only been there to create drama at a much-needed event.