Not everyone is particularly willing and eager to lend people their things.
Particularly things that possess either high financial or sentimental value. Owing to the fact that there is often a more than likely chance they may not have their property returned to them.
Or worse, their property is returned, but not in the same condition it was when they lent it.
Redditor Beginning_Service387 recently bit the bullet and made a very expensive purchase they’d been saving up to buy.
When a friend of the original poster (OP) asked if they could see this purchase, they initially obliged.
Unfortunately, the OP’s friend wasn’t particularly careful with this new purchase, resulting in some repairs being needed.
Repairs the OP felt their friend should be the one to pay for.
Wondering if they were out of line for feeling this way, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for asking my friend to pay for the damage to my expensive leather bag?”
The OP explained why they felt their friend needed to pay up over a little spilled coffee:
“So, I own a high-end leather briefcase that I saved up for months to buy.”
“It’s a $1,800 briefcase, and it was a gift I made to myself after saving money for over a year.”
“I’ve always been super careful with it.”
“A few days ago, I was hanging out with my friend, and he asked to see it.”
“I handed it over, and while he was looking at it, he accidentally spilled a full cup of coffee on it.”
“I immediately tried to wipe it off, but the coffee soaked into the leather and left a huge stain.”
“I was devastated.”
“This bag cost me $1,800, and I’ve only had it for a few months.”
“I took it to a professional cleaner, and they said it’ll cost around $300 to remove the stain, but there’s no guarantee the stain will completely come out.”
“I told my friend I was upset and asked if he’d be willing to help cover the cost of repairs.”
“He apologized but said it was just an accident and that I shouldn’t expect him to pay for something so expensive.”
“I get that accidents happen, but this feels like a big deal to me.”
“I offered to split the cost, but he refused, saying it’s not his responsibility.”
“I feel like he should at least contribute something, but now he’s acting like I’m being unreasonable.”
“So, AITA for asking my friend to pay for the damage to my bag?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for asking their friend to pay for the needed repairs for their briefcase.
Nearly everyone agreed that the OP was absolutely valid in feeling their friend should pay for the repairs, and he should have at least agreed to the OP’s offer to split the cost of repairs evenly, with some even feeling this friend shouldn’t pay for repairs, but instead buy them a new bag.
“See, that’s something I can never understand.”
“I was raised on the mentality that If I did anything to damage/ruin/break something, accidental or not, I fix it or replace it and whatever else I can do to make it up to the person it belonged to.”
“So obviously, NTA.”
“You shouldn’t have had to ask. Your friend should have offered on his own.”- CrimsonCherryxx
“NTA.”
“If I’m not willing to pay for the cost of damages to something if I ruin it, I don’t touch it.”
“By taking it and holding it to look at it, he took responsibility for it and is responsible for paying for the damages he caused.”
“If a friend can so casually ruin something you’ve worked so hard for and not go to whatever length are necessary to make it right afterward, is that really someone you want as a friend?”- Sugar_Weasel_
“That 300$ was a very inexpensive way to find out that your ‘friend’ is not a friend, after all.”- NectarineAny4897
“NTA.”
“This doesn’t read like an accident.”
“Doesn’t smell right.”
“I suspect that envy is behind this.”- CandylandCanada
“NTA.”
“He does, in fact, owe you the entire cleaning fee, precisely because it was his accident.”- crashfrog04
“NTA.”
“He needs to pay for HIS ACCIDENT.”
“He owes you a NEW bag.”- No_Mention3516
“NTA.”
“But listen, with such expensive things, you let people look at them while YOU hold the item they’re so interested in seeing.”
“And also, to everyone saying you shouldn’t have bought something you can’t afford, let’s admit that most of us own at least one thing we can’t afford because we really wanted it and saved up money for it.”- santaklarita
“NTA.”
“Personally, I think you’ve been over-generous by offering to split the cost of getting it cleaned.”
“Yes accidents happen, but part of being an adult is owning your mistakes and setting them right.”- Nyx-by-night
“NTA.”
“The measure of an adult is whether they own their mistakes and pay for them.”
“The cost of your item does not matter here.”
“Your friend damaged it. There is a cost to repair it. Your friend should own that cost.”- Inner-Nothing7779
“NTA.”
“So if he were to accidentally crash his car, he wouldn’t be responsible for the damage?”
‘What if he accidentally killed someone?”
‘This mentality, that you are not responsible if it were an accident, is baffling.”
“Accidents happen, then you clean up the mess, sometimes with money.”- JKristiina
There were a few, however, who had a bit more trouble sympathizing with the OP, as he purchased a briefcase he couldn’t afford, and he willingly handed it to his friend despite the fact that he had a cup of coffee that could be easily spilled on his person:
“YTA.”
“If you have to save for a year to be able to buy an $1800 case, then I would say, you really can’t afford an $1800 case.”
“Someone who can afford an $1800 case can afford to pay $300 to get repaired if some everyday use around other people results in coffee stains.”
“In fact, people who can actually afford an 1800 case probably wouldn’t even bother getting it repaired if something happened to it, they’d just go buy a new one.”
“Look at you trying to be all fancy with your fancy expensive bag! Meanwhile, you saved a year for it and can’t reasonably afford to repair or replace it.”
“I mean what are going to do if someone on the street bumps into you and coffee falls on your precious expensive bag?’
“Sue them too?”
‘What if you trip on uneven payment and fall in a mud puddle, sue the city for damage to your bag from uneven sidewalks?”
“If you are going to make a choice to invest in something that you had to save a year for but then want to carry around with you for everyday use, then YOU are responsible for normal wear and tear and accidents and any small claims court judge will tell you the same.”
“I think the lesson that you need to learn here is that if you have to save a year to buy a briefcase, you may be able to purchase that bag but it doesn’t mean you can afford it.”
“You should be carrying around something much more affordable that you can reasonably afford to replace if an accident happens.”
“NOT expect the rest of the world to look out for your bag.”
“Or carry it around in a glass case to protect it then!”
“How ridiculous!”
“You should clearly be carrying around a bag that costs about $50 and if and only if your coworker was behaving in a reckless way with coffee around your bag then they owe you $10 towards a new bag.’
‘However, if it was just a normal accident they owe you nothing.”- death_to_Jason
“Can’t help but think you might be TA for buying an $1800 briefcase that can’t get anything spilled on it.”
“I also do not think it is as big a deal to clean as you do.”
“In the future, there is almost certainly a protective sealant or treatment you can use.”-terraformingearth
“YTA.”
‘If this bag is so precious and expensive, you shouldn’t be letting people hold it to play with it with drinks in their hands.”
“He asked and you said yes, and then there was an accident.”
“Sh*t happens.”- Mollywhoppered
Accidents happen.
But there is a fine difference between causing a stain that will come out with a little dish soap and Oxyclean and possibly permanently damaging a priceless piece of merchandise.
This is something the OP’s friend should consider before rebuffing all his requests.
And perhaps the OP might want to consider a bit more carefully which of the items he shares with his friends.
Or if expensive accessories are truly worth the purchase…