We all experience food cravings from time to time, and we can agree on how annoying it can be when we don’t get to satisfy them.
But for pregnant people, sometimes the food craving is the only food they can stomach, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor CommonHumble7060 had made a traditional dish from their wife’s country that she was craving while she was pregnant, in addition to a mac-and-cheese meal for their friends who were visiting.
But when they didn’t save any of the traditional dish for their wife, the Original Poster (OP) later wondered if they should have taken her needs more seriously.
They asked the sub:
“AITA for letting my friends eat the food my pregnant wife wanted?”
The OP’s pregnant wife went to lie down during a social gathering.
“My wife is pregnant and has a lot of cravings. On Sunday night we had some of my friends over and I had cooked two dinners. I had cooked some mac and cheese and I had also cooked traditional food from my wife’s country.”
“My wife was craving the traditional food and had said she’d not eat mac and cheese so she could eat the traditional dish.”
“She got kinda sick at some point and went to lie down and didn’t want to eat yet and said she’ll eat later when she gets up.”
The OP allowed the party to eat the traditional dish.
“Most of my friends wanted to try out the traditional dish and mac and cheese was left untouched.”
“Then another friend of mine arrived and I asked him if he wanted to eat and he said yes.”
“I saw that there was only one plate left of the traditional dish but out of politeness, I had to ask him what he preferred, and he said the traditional dish, so I gave him the last plate.”
The OP’s wife was disappointed.
“Half an hour later, my wife got up and she was hungry. She went to make her plate and saw that the traditional dish was gone.”
“She got upset and said, ‘You didn’t keep any for me?'”
“I said the guys wanted to try it out.”
“She started tearing up and said, ‘I told you I was craving it and you supposedly made it because I was craving it.'”
“One of my friends asked why I can’t make some more but the ingredients were gone and the grocery store was closed so I couldn’t get any more ingredients at that moment.”
“She went to bed tearing up and didn’t eat anything. She didn’t want mac and cheese.”
The friends were critical of the OP’s wife.
“My friends told me that she’s acting like a spoilt kid and I should ignore her, but I can’t help but feel like an AH for not saving a plate for her.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP was the AH because pregnancy cravings should be taken seriously.
“I told a hissing, wing flapping, aggressive Canadian Goose I didn’t have time for its bulls**t at 16 weeks pregnant, because it was in front of the door to Steak ‘n’ Shake and I wanted chili. It let me walk by.”
“Pregnant women should always be fed the food they want at the moment if it is at all reasonable.” – Sheetascastle
“I’m 28 weeks pregnant and the other day we had one egg left in the fridge because we hadn’t done the grocery shopping yet. I had made a crispy hash brown and smashed up some avocado and was going to put a perfect sunny side-up egg on top.”
“I had been salivating over the idea all morning, the craving was STRONG. My hubby joked that he was going to crack the egg with one hand and I said that he couldn’t cos he sucked at it (he actually can and doesn’t but we were being silly).”
“He was like oh yeah? And cracked the egg. And the yolk broke. Fell apart. No more sunny side up.”
“I started to cry. It was neither of our faults, but sometimes the cravings are intense, and it was the ONE thing that I really wanted that morning. I would’ve been sad if I wasn’t pregnant and really wanted it, but being hormonal and having a strong craving is just so much worse.” – amugglestruggle
“I spilled my Hi-C Orange from McDonald’s at work while I was pregnant.”
“I cried so hard, my boss left in the middle of a rush to get me a new one, extra-large.”
“Of course, that made me cry even harder because that was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me ever.” – NaturalWitchcraft
“I’m in my first trimester, and I cannot stress this enough: you can only eat what and when it works.”
“I cannot eat on a schedule, my body will only tolerate certain things, stuff I love has suddenly become repugnant (f**k you, avocado, for literally being in everything), and if something suddenly sounds good, I just eat that. I totally underestimated this pregnancy situation.”
“This woman asked for one thing. Why wouldn’t her person just set aside a plate?”
“Also, why let friends (I’m assuming male friends?) say anything about her pregnancy? Who knows the last time she was able to enjoy a full meal?”
“OP is an AH.” – chillisprknglot
“Both times I was pregnant, being sick would just ‘hit me’. I had to sleep right then.”
“One time, my ex brought me to introduce me to some old friends. They’d just bought a new house. She was showing me her little guest house and that feeling just took me over.”
“She brought me into her home, gave me water, and made me lie down on her bed. I slept for a couple of hours. I felt so guilty and ashamed.”
“But you know what? We had moved to their area, and 6 months later she drove me to the hospital, called my husband and her husband, picked up my 7-year-old, and sent her to school along with their kids.”
“She understood and yes, she spoiled me! She turned out to be such a close friend.”
“It’s understandable that some guys don’t understand until they’ve been there. Spoil her like there’s no tomorrow.” – Babylon331
Others said it shouldn’t have been so hard to stand up for their wife and save a plate.
“You should have put a plate aside for her right at the beginning.”
“Why are you letting your buddies s**t talk your wife?” – crockofpot
“AH, even if she wasn’t pregnant, as you made the dish for her and then left her nothing.”
“It’s so much worse because she is pregnant, a lot.” – BarbaraDixonu
“It sounds like OP was actually annoyed that his wife felt unwell and went to bed after he cooked something she craved specifically, so he took it out on her by giving it to his friends out of spite.”
“What kind of person is so spineless they can’t even say, ‘Sorry mate, I actually made this dish for my pregnant wife so I’ve gotta save her the last plate’? YTA OP.” – alienabductionfan
“WHY he EVEN OFFERED that last plate to ANYONE other than his wife is beyond me!! This random friend that stopped by would have had NO idea if mac n cheese was the only option had he not been given another choice!!”
“‘Mac n cheese left untouched…’ means even OP ate THAT instead too, so maybe he could have just served everyone including himself the Mac n cheese and would have had plenty for his wife!!”
“OR skipped the Mac n cheese and made double of the other dish (when stores were still open of course) because he didn’t even want that either.” – Hot_Establishment_29
“Not spoilt. I had morning, noon, and night sickness the first 5 months of my pregnancy. The world doesn’t stop, I didn’t expect my husband to stop socializing for half a year.”
“That being said, his first priority should have been to set aside a dish for his wife. It’s likely she couldn’t tolerate mac and cheese.”
“Add hormones and you have a crying wife.” – Glengal
A few wondered what this said about the OP as a partner or parent.
“She may also view this inconsiderate type of action as an indicator of how OP will behave as a father. I know I would. OP is most definitely TA.” – subtleandunnatural
“It’s worse that she would have smelled it cooking. It was ripped away from her. AND it sounds like OP let her go to bed to cry alone while he kept entertaining his friends!!!!!!” – Crazyforcats4321
“And by ‘entertaining his friends,’ you mean sitting around saying mean things about his wife so they’d all feel justified in taking her food.” – beka13
“His pregnant wife! Carrying his child. Saving her a plate is the least he could do. His friends should be siding with the wife, if I was the last-minute friend and ate the last plate not knowing about the wife wanting it, I’d be mad he didn’t tell me.”
“Hope OP is sleeping on the couch, that is such a d**k move. Again a pregnant woman, who already was tired and not feeling well, went to bed without food for her and your child she is carrying.”
“She is not spoiled! Being pregnant is not easy and asking the husband to put some food aside is not being spoiled. It’s what a husband should naturally do without even having to be told.” – MediaOffline411
Though the OP and their friends may have only thought of it as a plate of food, the subReddit was furious on the wife’s behalf.
Even if she wasn’t pregnant, promising food and then taking it away is never cool. But for her to be pregnant, experiencing food cravings, and not feeling particularly well, that’s especially bad partner behavior.