Building boundaries for children can be an important part of their upbringing.
They have to learn no means no.
Some things around the house and in life are simply off limits until they’re a certain age.
But not all parents seem to agree with this sentiment.
Redditor BigMamaO wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“WIBTA if I change the password on my PS5 so my husband can’t play it?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’m a gamer girl.”
“I’ve owned every P[lay]S[tation] system since 1.”
“When the PS5 came out, I saved up to buy it for myself.”
“Unboxing it, I explained to my children (then 2, 5, and 6) that it is mine, and they are not allowed to play it.”
“I have it mounted to the wall 7 feet off the ground, and they understand they can’t play it.”
“I found out my husband has been allowing them to play G[rand] T[heft] A[uto] V on it while I’m at work.”
“I told him to stop, but he continually called me selfish for wanting something the kids can’t play with.”
“Telling me I am an a**hole because it should be a family entertainment system and it’s for kids anyway.”
“I again told him, as a mother, that my children have all they need. They have broken 4 Nintendo Switches, and everything they touch becomes sticky.”
“I have one thing for just me, and that’s allowed.”
“He has been messaging me repeatedly, telling me that I’m so wrong for keeping it from them, gaming is apparently a huge part of their development… they do play games on tablets, phones, and computers like Minecraft, Roblox, and Pokémon.”
“Age-appropriate games, all of my PlayStation games are essentially F[irst]-P[erson] S[hooter] games that are not age-appropriate anyway.”
“I told him if it happens again, I will change the password so he can’t play it.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“WIBTA if I do?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“I’ve let my kid ‘Play’ GTAV, but only offline mode, and I’ve never encouraged her to do any missions… for her it’s always been an opportunity to ‘drive’ and ‘walk’ around in cities that aren’t real, and see how they are… she’s done the same in the AC game series as well.”
“I prefer those, personally, because especially in the newer ones, they’ve added an educational/exploratory mode with no combat.”
“All that being said, NTA for having boundaries about your personal property and enforcing them…particularly if your kids are actually participating in the violent content in games.” ~ bloodfeier
“Your husband is racking up ‘cool Dad’ points by letting the kids play the ‘forbidden’ PS5.”
“What else has he been letting the kids do that ‘bad Mom’ doesn’t let them do?”
“100% change the damn password.”
“Lock the controllers in a box.”
“Don’t bluff stuff like this.”
“Just do it, otherwise your husband will continue to think your threats are hollow and you’ll just roll over anyway.”
“If he protests, and he will, and calls you over dramatic or whatever, tell him he’s throwing a child’s temper tantrum, and if he doesn’t want to be treated like a child, he should start acting like a man and your husband.”
“If he wants the kids to be able to play GTA so bad, he can go get them a PS5 they’ll immediately break.”
“Also, what’s with your kids breaking stuff so easily?”
“Are these full-blown Switches or Switch Lites?”
“What did they do to the PS4?”
“All you have to do is turn it on (unless it’s all disc-based games and I can see that drive and/or the discs getting borked fast).” ~ jmking
“NTA, but with everything happening on it, get them off Roblox.” ~ BeckaPL
“No kids should be playing GTA at 6 years old, period. NTA.” ~ Iamstryker
“NTA. If he cares so much, he can buy them their own console to share.”
“Your things are yours.”
“He can’t dictate who gets to use it, especially when you paid for it yourself.” ~ Vegetable-Cheetah850
“Yes, 100% fair.”
“Noting that, though – it feels like this is your real issue?”
“That your husband doesn’t understand this and is crossing lines you’ve tried to draw here.”
“Changing the password won’t resolve this – he still won’t understand.”
“You need to talk to him so that he does actually gets it.” ~ Exciting-Ad-5858
“NTA, and you need to have a chat about how your kids will develop if their mom and dad can’t get on the same page.”
“Undermining you and talking down about your decisions to your kids isn’t doing any favors for their future or the future of your marriage.” ~ Doublewhiskeyrocks
“Setting aside the inappropriateness of GTA for kids that age.”
“If the concern is them breaking things, then why not just get them their own controllers?”
“It’s already mounted well out of reach.”
“They’re not going to break anything by just playing a game on it.”
“Set up a separate kids’ profile to restrict what games they can play.”
“And this way, anything they do on it will have zero effect on your profile or games.” ~ GiraffeParking7730
“NTA, and what the f**k is wrong with your husband?”
“NOT his console!” ~ West_House_2085
“As another gamer parent, NTA.”
“Change your password and tell your husband to buy them a console if he wants them to be able to play it so badly.”
Video games or otherwise, parents should be allowed to have things that are off limits for kids who don’t understand how not to break things.” ~ BlademasterBanryu
“NTA. How old are your kids?”
“By your description, I am guessing fairly young.”
“Most kids have zero business on a game like GTA.”
“I’d be mad about that to begin with.”
“I don’t think changing the password is the right answer.”
“This goes much deeper than that.”
“I do agree that gaming systems should be enjoyed by the family IF and ONLY if they are treated properly AND there are age-appropriate games on them.”
“Neither of these cases is met, and the disrespect from him is not OK.” ~ thechaoticstorm
“NTA. Your husband should respect your boundaries of what you have set for your kids.”
“But by doing this, it also undermines what authority it shows you have over them because if they don’t like what you say, they can just go to day and fix it.”
“Your husband is the one being selfish, it seems, because while you are at work, he is the one who is supposed to be with the kids and uses the PS5 as a babysitting tool instead, because it keeps their attention span longer than the other games.”
Personally, I would change the password and have a talk with your husband on why you did this, because it really is setting up other issues besides just not age-appropriate games being played.” ~ No_Use_For_A_Name24
“I have 3 kids, 3,7,10.”
“As someone who grew up on GTA, I’m not letting them play it till they understand the world more.”
“It’s just not a kids’ game.”
“However, I have a series X that I rarely let my kids touch because I’ve seen their controllers and they are disgusting.”
“My solution is to make them use their own controllers and their own accounts, which are kids’ accounts, and we can monitor what they play, who they can and cannot talk to, store purchases, as well as screen time.”
“They also have their own series in their rooms.”
“They, too, have switches, and most of the time they’re dead or lost.”
NTA, but get them their own accounts and controllers.” ~ AccomplishedLet1889
“NTA. The husband is.”
“He should respect your boundaries and needs to be on the same page here.”
“Otherwise things are going to get messy… lol.”
“For example, personally, nobody touches my personal computer.”
“Nobody. I’d lose my s**t if my wife or kids touched it because they just break things or don’t respect my space.”
“So I completely understand here.” ~ _lefthook
“NTA, take the controller to work with you… lol.”
“These things aren’t cheap and are costly to replace.”
“I’m a gamer myself, but I would disagree heavily that gaming is a ‘huge part of their development.'”
“Maybe your husband should include them in HIS hobbies more and let them put their sticky fingers all over his personal belongings…” ~ YDGxx
OP came back to chat…
“ETA: The console is in my husband’s and my bedroom.”
“I play it when they are sleeping… they had my old PS4 in their room and broke it as well.”
“It’s not in a shared part of the house, taunting them all day… my husband doesn’t really play video games, but I’ve never had an issue with him using it, but have always told him it’s not for everyone to play.”
“ETA: Before showing him this post’s comment thread, he did apologize for calling me selfish.”
“Still won’t apologize for letting them play it, though.”
“He said since I share it with him, he should be allowed to share it with them.”
“I disagree, which is why it is out of sight for them and in our personal space.”
“I appreciate all the comments, even those with a different opinion from mine.”
“I’d also like to add that I in no way am blaming my kids for this; it’s my husband I was upset with.”
“After talking to my kids about the situation, they made me feel so much better. “
“They told me they didn’t ask to play it, they don’t think about it at all.”
“They aren’t upset that I have something they can’t use.”
“I share everything with them, and my daughter (9) said, ‘You’re allowed to have your own hobby.’”
“They’re really sweet kids for real.”
It’s great that you were able to find a resolution to this situation, at least with your kids.
Your husband needs to get with the program.
Reddit has your back, OP.
Hopefully, after reading this, he’ll have a better understanding.
Good Luck.