A lot of people love to dabble in Tarot cards.
Some lovers of Tarot read at parties for fun.
Other folks consult the tarot with serious life concerns.
These two types of people don’t always mesh well.
Redditor Kind-Worldliness4896 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“AITA for refusing to read someone’s tarot?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (F[emale] 31) like ‘witchy’ things.”
“Tarot cards, I make my own herbal tinctures (I am fully vaccinated and believe in science, just getting that in), crystals, etc.”
“That being said, I consult tarot cards for fun.”
“If I’m being audited by the IRS, I’m consulting an accountant, not tarot.”
“My wife (38) had a lump on her breast last spring, and I made her a doctor’s appointment, didn’t consult tarot.”
“It was benign, thank goodness.”
“The most extreme I get would be having a run-of-the-mill bad day, consulting tarot, and using that to help inform what I might do next, like take a long bath or something.”
“I have a friend, Grace (30s), who is in legal trouble.”
“I don’t know if I can say here without breaking rules, but her thing isn’t a speeding ticket that you want to contest and show up in court for. “
“This is a situation where she needs to hire her own lawyer and probably be prepared for some serious consequences.”
“Anyways, she asked me if I could read her tarot to see the outcomes of the situation, and I refused.”
“A) Because she hasn’t done anything yet.”
“Her court day is approaching, and as far as I know, she still doesn’t have legal representation, and…”
“B) Tarot cards might give a ‘it’s fine!’ answer, but a judge and jury in Massachusetts are going to decide on their own.”
“I told her no, she should really find a lawyer.”
“Grace got really upset, saying this would help her know what to expect and put her mind at ease, and that I wasn’t being a good friend.”
“I think a good friend sometimes has to give their friends hard truths, but tarot doesn’t always take long, and it could make her feel better.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So… AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Tell her the tarot tells her to get a lawyer 🤣.” ~ TheRealLG09
“NTA. But can’t you pretend to read her tarot and let the tarot say that she needs to get a lawyer?” ~ PenSillyum
“A good friend sometimes has to give their friends hard truths.”
“You’re being a good friend by refusing.”
“It’s far kinder to tell it to her straight (that she needs a lawyer, not a card reading) than to pretend to read tarot like I’ve seen some other comments suggest.”
“I’d hope my friends would do similar if I ever asked them to do something that would end very poorly for me. NTA.” ~ furious_cactus
“GIRL SHOW UR TAROT DECK!!!”
“I love tarot cards so much!!!”
‘Also NTA!”
“I would never rely on tarot for such a serious situation like that. 🙃” ~ slicksquids
“I would ‘read her Tarot’ and say that it looks like her current course of action is going to lead to a bad situation… mumble something about there is a potential path, but it requires getting the wise crone or something (aka a lawyer). NTA.” ~ K_A_irony
“You’ve consulted the Tarot, and every card says, talk to a lawyer. NTA.” ~ Adorable_Strength319
“NTA. If she really wants to use tarot cards in such a high-stakes situation (unwise but her choice), she needs to seek out someone who has similar beliefs in their validity.”
“You were right to warn her to take real legal steps of her own, and right to refuse to do a reading if you felt that she was going to base her plans on it as opposed to the way that you utilize them.” ~ plm56
“NTA. You gave her the advice she needed to hear.”
“Telling her everything will be fine when maybe it won’t be, is not helping her.” ~ Homologous_Trend
“NTA. I’m also a tarot reader, and having boundaries like not reading on legal or medical matters is a safety and ethical issue; this is simply you protecting her as well as yourself.” ~ high_on_acrylic
“It sounds like you use tarot more as a mental tool to guide your thoughts and help you try to have more perspective, rather than any actual tool of prediction.”
“I am a very pragmatic, science-believing girl, and I’ve used tarot for this in the past.”
“Unless I have misunderstood and you truly believe tarot cards are future predictors, I think this is what you should explain to your friend.”
“Let her know that your relationship with tarot reading isn’t a magic 8 ball; it’s an indexing system that lets you work through and examine your own thoughts.”
“Then tell her she’s an idiot for not having a lawyer and that even without tarot, you can see that unless she gets one soon, her future will be grim.” ~ KaeAlexandria
“NTA, and Grace is a huge red flag.”
“She’s hoping the cards erase whatever consequences she’s about to face, and it seems like she hasn’t learned a thing about the seriousness of her situation and being a responsible, accountable adult.” ~ Working-Estimate-250
“NTA. Wanting you to read the tarot instead of getting a lawyer is ridiculous.”
“That said, reading tarot is very much a matter of interpretation… ‘good’ cards can be interpreted as ‘bad’ and vice versa, essentially they can be read to say whatever the reader wants them to say, so you could give her a reading along the lines of ‘the future looks dire if no action is taken’ 😉.” ~ Future-Crazy-CatLady
“NTA, tarot cards definitely fall in the Barnum effect category.”
“If your friend continues to be pushy, you could always stack the deck to give the most horrific reading (lots of inverses, towers, devil, etc).” ~ Responsible-Hope4478
“NTA. I definitely agree with all the people saying to fudge the ‘results’ a bit, saying it looks like she needs to get guidance from someone, aka a lawyer.” ~ Team_Captain_America
“Ordained Pagan clergy and tarot reader here.”
“First off, mundane before magic.”
“Just like how Christianity teaches that God helps those who help themselves.”
“You must put in the work and meet the universe halfway.”
“Secondly, tarot doesn’t tell you what’s guaranteed to happen.”
“It’s a snapshot, a possibility.”
“Its guidance is based on the most likely outcome of the current course is action.”
“Say she was going to reach out to a lawyer tomorrow who would end up winning her case, and you do a reading today that said that she was on the right path to victory.”
“So she goes home and says, ‘Oh no, the cards said I was going to win, so no point in calling that lawyer.'”
“She’s now gone off course and nullified that reading.”
“On top of that, she’ll now blame you for lying to her.”
“So no, you are absolutely NTA for refusing her, and I probably would have too.” ~ erzebet6977
OP responded…
“I actually laughed out loud at this.”
“What card would that even be… justice is kinda on the nose.”
Reddit continued…
“NTA. A pro move would have been to say the tarot tells her she’s in big trouble if she doesn’t hire a lawyer.”
“Use headology.” ~ Archi_balding
“NTA – I’m much the same as you, understand science, get my vaccines, like witchy things and tarot.”
“I’d also refuse to read cards for something serious.” ~ Scribemetropolisowl
“Same here.”
“I don’t think tarot can ‘tell the future.’”
“What it can do is give us some tools to look for alternative ways of thinking about stuff when what we’re doing now isn’t necessarily helping, or when we’re otherwise at a loss.”
“Though I have to laugh because yesterday my daughter told me her long-distance relationship with her online sweetie had been downgraded into ‘maybe just close friends for now,’ and I pulled a card thinking about how best to support her through this and got the Queen of Cups.”
“Thank you for telling me what I already knew!” ~ Junior_Ad_7613
“NTA. It sounds like your friend is one of those people who take the tarot really seriously.”
“It would be incredibly foolish to read to her about anything, and especially something so serious as you describe her situation to be.”
“You did the best thing you could do to be a friend to her.” ~ Saffron-Kitty
“NTA. It’s ok to say no to friends.”
“Also, you don’t want the consequences of the tarot card reading saying everything will be fine, then the reality of the court system saying your friend is in serious legal trouble.”
“She can pay someone to do a tarot reading?”
“I get she wants reassurance, but is she gonna blame your tarot card reading if things go bad in real life?”
“Don’t get involved in her messy, legal situation.”
“You don’t want her to shift blame onto you.” ~ nanami1
“NTA. But I would probably do it and let her know the cards aren’t a yes or no answer.”
“They are a guide and gently guide her to do the right thing and get a lawyer.” ~ WickedAngelLove
“NTA. Some people treat the readings as fact and then blame the reader when events turn out differently.”
“Avoiding a situation like that is a good idea.” ~ LavishnessGeneral
OP came back to chat…
“I just got like 7 inbox requests for tarot readings.”
“I’m not doing that.”
“Also, to answer some questions, I use tarot as a soothing tool, an advice tool, and yes, for fun.”
“I find it helps me think things through more.”
“It’s more than a party game to me, but it’s not life and death.”
Reddit is with you, OP.
Grace needs to get it together.
Tarot won’t save her.
You’re being a good friend.
Good luck to Grace.