Not all children have an easy time adjusting to the real world after flying the coop.
As a result, many people move back in with their parents.
What sometimes takes them by surprise, however, is that it's not exactly the same situation as when they were living at home as children.
As this time, their parents won't always, if ever, cater to their every need.
The adult daughter of Redditor Diligent_Kangaroo_35 was still living at her family home.
After she moved back in, the original poster (OP) began to notice an ongoing disruption in the house.
A disruption that was beginning to add up to a significant financial cost.
When the OP finally drew the line and demanded that their daughter start being responsible for paying, they did not get the response they hoped for.
Eventually leading the OP to instill yet another ultimatum on their daughter.
Wondering if they overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole Here" (AITAH).
Unlike the similar "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Nor are voting acronyms required or a final judgment declared.
The OP asked fellow Redditors:
"AITAH for asking a family member to buy a toilet seat?"
The OP explained why they refused to buy any more broken toilet seats:
"Our 29 F[emale] daughter lives with us."
"She moved back home about a year ago."
"She is in the downstairs bedroom & the bathroom is right next to her room."
"Since she moved home, the toilet seat keeps breaking."
"I've replaced it 6 times this past year."
"I have no idea what she is doing in there?"
"Possibly aggressively wiggling sh*t out, who f*cking knows."
"So, yesterday, I went in the bathroom and to my lack of surprise, the toilet seat was broken again."
"I replaced the seat a month ago. In a slight fit of rage, I said 'I'm not buying another one, this is ridiculous."
"And I asked our daughter to go get one."
"She laughed and said, 'It's not that big of a deal."
"To which I replied, 'I've spent over $200 in toilet seats over the last year. When you were not here, the toilet seat was not breaking every few months. And no guests are allowed here until it's replaced."
"She stormed out."
"My husband offered to buy it, to which I said no - she needs to respect what's here or get her 30-year-old a** out."
"She's very overweight."
"5'3 and appx 300 lbs."
"But even at that, it makes no sense."
"I may have overreacted but like WTF?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, with some using the voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that it wasn't unreasonable for the OP to ask their daughter to buy a new toilet seat.
While some did take into account that the OP's daughter might be self-conscious about her weight being the reason she constantly broke the toilet seat, she still should be the one who replaced the broken seat, with some finding the fact that she laughed in her face was enough to justify kicking her out:
"You're not the AH."
"Never broken a seat in 54 yrs, this is ridiculous."- Sugah-mama21
"I feel I have to ask this."
"I mean you're not the arsehole either way, I've never broken a toilet seat in 40 years, not even flimsy plastic ones."
"So yeah... is she a bit overweight?"
"Or do you think she might be doing it on purpose for some reason?"- irreverend_god
"NTA."
"It’s infuriating to have her laugh in your face."- Lemon_Poppies
"I can't even picture how someone would repeatedly break a toilet seat?"
"I would be so embarrassed if I did that in someone else's home, especially as an adult."- girl-dracula
"NTA."
"Given the OP’s comments, I would say the laughing is possibly a safety response due to her weight and the knowledge that it’s probably that leading to the toilet seats breaking."
"OP - have you looked into purchasing a heavy-duty or bariatric seat?"
"Standard seats are rated from 300-400 lbs, but that’s static without movement."
"You may want to find one that’s rated for up to 800+ pounds that may last longer."
"That’s just a guess but my first thought when I read about so many freaking and then OP confirmed with stating she’s approximately 300 pounds."- BloomNurseRN
"Is she like seriously overweight?"
"I would say maybe it's the wrong seat."
"Odd."- UnfairProgrammer1194
"You are soooo NTA."
"6 seats in a year??!!??"
"Wtf is she banging a football team on the throne????"
"Smh."
"Unbelievable."
"NTA by any stretch of the imagination."- Altruistic_Rent_4048
"NTA but inquiring minds must find out what she is doing to break a toilet seat."
"I have toilet seats older than she is."
"It is not normal for them to break."
"WTF is she doing?!"
"Is she severely overweight?"
"Is she standing on the toilet to take a dump?"
"It seems like she is deliberately breaking them on purpose."
"Make her pay to replace it every time she continues to break it."- AwayOwl8174
"What kind of toilet seats are you buying and where does it break?"
"Wooden? Plastic? The metal bolts break?"
"This is hard to believe."- hopingtothrive
"NTA."
"Maybe this will motivate her to launch."
"You are not overreacting but WTH is she doing in there?"
"LOL."- Shutupandplayball
"What does she do if you don’t fix it?"- Independent_Insect_1
"Is she overweight?"
"If yes, she's probably breaking it when she twists to wipe."
"NTA."
"She needs to replace what she's broken."- BubbleCrum
"I'd be mortified if I broke anything in my mother's house, let alone not replacing it immediately."
"And definitely not for 6 times and then laugh that it's not a big deal."
"It IS a big deal when you damage other people's property."- Infamous_Care_5456
"NTA."
"I've only ever broken 1 toilet seat."
"And I'm a big dude."
"How do you break so many???"
"Unless you've bought the weak paper seats and she's pissing right on it to ruins its structural integrity."
"This is a weird situation."- aDistractedDisaster
"Stop replacing it."
"She can use it like it is or she can buy a new one."- NamasteNoodle
"NTA, we've been through 4 seats in 16 years."
"But I'm quite overweight and the seats weren't that robust."
"About a year ago I got one that is rated for over 350 pounds."
"So far, so good."- Diligent-Touch-5456
"That's ridiculous is she very heavy or doing acrobatics on the toilet?"
"She gets to replace the seat she keeps breaking."- DetailEducational917
"NTA."
"I’m 51, and I’ve never broken a toilet seat."
"Partner is 63, and the same goes."
"Our daughter is 21."
"Again, no broken toilet seats."
"That’s 135 years of life with no broken toilet seats."
"Your daughter broke six in a year."
"Is her a** made of concrete?"- chez2202
"DO NOT buy another toilet seat. She is doing something very weird to break this many."
"Let her replace it, or get her @ss pinched."
'Enough pinches and she'll be begging to be allowed to buy one!"- Number-2-Sis
"NTA."
"I've had people break the toilet seat, but they were on the bigger side and also very drunk."
"I've never had the same person break the toilet seat multiple times in a single year."
"Since your daughter thinks it's not a big deal, either she can buy her own toilet seat or continue to use the broken one."- Biteme75
"NTA She has got to be doing something to cause the seat to break."
"Even overweight people do not continuously break toilet seats."- Moemoe5
"NTA."
"Remove the broken toilet seat, but don't replace it."
"Let the voice of a cold porcelain toilet rim do the talking for you."- Ornery-Movie-1689
"This has happened in my home when I had multiple normal-weight teens who sat on the toilet, top closed, to shave legs, bikini areas, etc."
"It caused unusual stress and torsion from propping outstretched legs on the edge of the tub or other support areas."
"NTA."- pelicanlovingredwood
"What they doin in the bathroom?"
"I'm old as f*ck and never broken a seat."
"You are NTA!"- satrapi1
"NTA."
"She will only change her habits when it starts costing her money."- _gadget_girl
Regardless of the situation, breaking a toilet seat is an embarrassing situation that not many people would be willing to fess up to.
Even so, after breaking it six times, one can't help but be surprised that the OP's daughter didn't even offer to split the cost of a new one.
One can only hope she has the fortitude not to laugh in the OP's face again.
At least not if she wants to continue to live with her parents.
