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Gay Man Accused Of Misogyny After Asking His Roommates To Clean Up Their Period Blood Stains

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Having roommates can be a real headache.

We’ve all had that one roommate, haven’t we? The one who snoops through our stuff or won’t pull their weight around the house or leaves a mess in the bathroom?

One guy had it so bad with his two female roommates, he decided to cut his lease short and move in with his boyfriend instead.

The guy wrote into the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit after the two women called him out online, just for asking them to clean up after themselves in the bathroom.

Redditor periodbloodontheseat asked the sub if wanting them to clean up their hygienic mess was somehow too big of an ask.

More specifically, the Original Poster (OP) asked the sub: 

“AITA for yelling at my roommates for not cleaning up their own period blood?” 

After arguing with his roommates, the OP wonders if he overreacted. 

“I (26[male]) have 2 roommates that are both (20ish females) and yesterday i kinda blew up on them and i now want to know if I was the a**hole, since they think i am. and i feel like i’m going crazy.”

When he initially moved in, the situation was great. 

“I recently (4 months ago) had moved into a 3 bedroom apartment. The two girls that was living there needed someone to take the 3rd bedroom since their last roommate moved out. at first they weren’t sure about me, but i guess from snooping my socials and realised i’m a gay guy they were willing to let me move in (understandable).”

“At first, everything was going peachy, it was a nice co-living arrangements I left them alone, [and] they left me alone.”

     But pretty soon, the OP developed a serious pet-peeve. 

“Something i noticed within the first month of moving in, is that these b***hes be the most unclean people I’ve ever met in my life.”

“I took up most of the cleaning duties that they were unwilling to do, just for my own sanity.”

“these include, doing the dishes (otherwise they’d stack up to the ceiling), throwing out the trash (same issues of it would otherwise just keep piling up) [and] vacuuming the apartment, because they would literally just sit on the couch watching TV while scrubbing the soles of their feet and have feet skin just blow into the air (just. gross).”

“but the one thing that irks me more than anything else they do, is when they have their period, and somehow get blood on the toilet seat, or bathroom sink, they wouldn’t even clean that up?!?”      

Tired of the mess, the OP tried to talk to his roommates. It did not go well. 

“I called a roommate meeting, to ask them to please just clean up their period blood. [It’s] litterally the only thing i’m asking (i’ve asked before about the other cleaning duties and they always say ‘they’ll try better’, but end up not doing s**t), [because] the mere sight of blood makes me want to vomit.”

“well they started to freak the freak out, saying ‘women bleed!’ and that it’s ‘natural and a part of life!'”

“I responded that ‘yes i understand that its natural, but civilised people clean their s**t up! and not let it litterally dry onto the toilet seat!'”

“They started calling me a woman hater, and stupid for making such a big deal about blood.”

One of the OP’s roommates even went so far as to call him out online. 

“One later posted on facebook, even went as far as calling me out by tagging me saying ‘ some men just don’t know how to live with women, we get periods! get used to it or move out!”

Having heard enough, the OP responded. 

“That irked me the most, especially since my own sister called me up saying i was a misogynistic piece of s**t.”

“So i litterally just went into the washroom, snapped a picture of the absolute bloody mess, and posted that as a comment, saying ‘ya’ll are nasty, just admit it, don’t expect me to renew my lease, i don’t want to keep living in this zoo.'”

“She didn’t see it until the morning after the damage was already done.”

“She deleted it, and i woke up to her banging on my door, saying ‘how dare i” ‘you f**king a**hole’ [and] ‘i have coworkers who know my socials, you ruined my reputation!” so on an]/d so [forth].”

The OP now intends to leave the apartment for good, mess and all. 

“AITA? currently planning on just going over to my boyfriends house, i submitted everything to my landlord saying i need out ASAP.”

After reaching out to the landlord and posting on social media, the OP was treated differently. 

“edit / update: i heard back from the landlord, and since i was sub-leasing, i’m cleared to just move out, no issue with him only with the roommates contract terms. he also said that the actual lease on the apartment was up in about 2 months and he thanked me for bringing this to his attention.”

“not sure what that means, might mean he’s not going to be re-newing their lease or something. which i kind of feel bad about.”

“also, my sister got back to me and apologized that she jumped to conclusions. so that makes me feel better.”

“thank you to all the responses so far!”

Fellow Redditors wrote in on the kinda gross situation, rating the OP’s reaction on the following scale:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some Redditors were quick to point out the difference between period-shaming and simply wanting a clean space. 

“NTA – as a women, eww.”

“Just ask them how they would feel if you p*ssed all over the toilet seat and they had to clean it up. They have gone on a power trip about the fact they have periods (which is okay) but they have neglected to take basic hygiene measures.”

“It’s not like your running around getting mad about period pads or tampons being in the Rubbish, you are justifiably angry about literal blood on the toilet seat.”spookyloverofhorror

“They blamed op for period-shaming. That’s not period-shaming, that’s biohazard shaming….”shynerdnextdoor

“NTA. I was just in the airport and there are signs on the bathroom stalls about wrapping feminine products. ‘Menstruel Blood is still blood’, it could have Hep C, blood borne pathogens, anything, you don’t know. It’s just polite AND hygienic to clean it up.”HereForALaugh714

“They also used the craptastic excuse of ‘Women bleed!’ to explain no cleaning it up. What’s next? ‘Women poop!’ to explain why they left a turd in the kitchen sink?”Piemanthe3rd

“My thought exactly, like if he gets diarrhea, can he leave s**t splatters on the toilet? Men poop!!!”

“This is VERY different from the men who want boxes of tampons hidden in secret special places they’ll never ever see. I don’t wanna touch anyone’s bodily fluids thank you.”CircusSloth3

Others agreed and said the women were responsible for maintaining a hygienic space. 

“That’s all I kept saying when I read about the bathroom. Ew. Just ew.”

“I’m a woman too, so I know first hand that periods are natural and it’s something most of us have to reluctantly put up with. But if I walked into my bathroom and saw menstrual blood all over the place, I’d be raising h**l too.”

“It’s not hard to clean up after yourself before leaving the bathroom. And the fact that OP’s roommates tried to turn it into a public sexism issue to justify it is ridiculous.”Cyclonic2500

“NTA. I’m open AF about my period. I bought tampons yesterday and walked the entire block from cvs home and in the lobby and elevator with my box of tampons with no bag and didn’t give two fu**s who saw. It’s a fact of life and if a man gets squeamish then that’s on them.”

“But leaving the blood all over is just dirty as h**l and unhygienic and absolutely disgusting. Children and animals don’t clean up after themselves. 20+ year old adults have the responsibility to clean up their bodily fluids to keep their living space livable for others in the same space.”

“I mean, I live alone and feel that responsibility to myself. This is just nasty as h**l.”casti33

“Ugh, I hate people like this. If you get blood somewhere, you clean it up. Doesn’t matter if it is from a cut on your hand, or out of your vagina, don’t leave your bodily fluids for other people to deal with.”

“NTA”

“Ordinarily I wouldn’t like you posting stuff to embarrass them on social media, but in this case they targeted you first, so this was self defence.”foibleShmoible

A few also pointed out that if the women didn’t want their coworkers to know, they shouldn’t have (quite literally?) aired their dirty laundry out online. 

“Then she trashes him on Facebook and expected him not to defend himself? She got what she deserved. She ruined her own reputation by being a liar and refusing to clean up after herself.”WeeklyConversation8

“Yep! Even OP’s own sister was calling him misogynistic, without knowing the whole story! OP really had no choice BUT to defend himself! The roommate shouldn’t have posted the issue on Facebook, plain and simple. She only made things worse for herself.”Cyclonic2500

“Agreed! If you have coworkers on your social and you care that much about what they think of you, why stir up drama on a public platform? And on top of that, tag him in it and expect him to do nothing.”

“Periods are normal but being unhygienic and disrespectful when asked to clean up after yourself is not.”PositivelyMiserable

When we’re not feeling well, it’s harder to stay on top of cleaning and other chores, and surely while menstruating is no different.

Despite how weak, ill, or achy these women might feel, though, it’s unreasonable and unhygienic to expect someone else to clean up after them.

It seems like this is probably something they already know and are unwilling to admit, instead hiding behind accusations of misogyny against a reasonably grossed-out male roommate.

McKenzie Lynn Tozan

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan lives in North Chicago, where she works as a poet, freelance writer, and editor. She received her MFA in Creative Writing from Western Michigan University, and her BA in English from Indiana University South Bend. Her poems have appeared in Rogue Agent, Whale Road Review, the James Franco Review, Thank You for Swallowing, and elsewhere; and her essays and book reviews have appeared with Memoir Mixtapes, The Rumpus, BookPage, and Motherly, among others. When she's not reading and writing, she's in her garden or spending time with her family. For more, visit www.mckenzielynntozan.com.