in ,

Guy Balks After Partner Demands He ‘Grow Up’ And Get Rid Of His Teddy Bear Collection

Man cuddling teddy bear
Jbwest31/Getty Images

We all have that stuffed animal or blanket from our childhood that we can’t quite let go of.

Redditor Vancil is sick and tired of their boyfriend’s teddy bears.

But here’s the catch — they’re not from his childhood.

So what does the Original Poster (OP) do about this?

Turn to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA), of course!

They asked:

“AITA for wanting my boyfriend to get rid of his teddy bears?”

They explained.

“So my boyfriend is a great guy, but he has about seven different teddy bears, all with names, not from childhood but like recently bought them between 3-5 years ago.”

“He cuddles them and sometimes talks to them. He lives a normal life and makes good money. The relationship is overall good.”

“It’s not even like he ignores me. I just find it really weird and embarrassing.”

“I told him he should grow up and stop being crazy. He started crying and is now in the room talking to the stupid bear again instead of talking it out with me.”

“How does this guy make enough money for a 3-bed house on his own yet does stupid stuff like this?”

“For the record, we don’t live together and completely support ourselves separately. Should I encourage him to get a hobby or something?”

The OP was left to wonder…

“AITA: For wanting a grown man to stop having teddy bears?”

“As far as I know, nothing happened to make him specifically want a teddy bear. The first one he got because it was a Pokémon thing or whatever, then it just spiraled into more.”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“YTA. I’d find dating someone as insecure as you to be weird and embarrassing. I hope he ditches you and keeps his bears.” – Elle_Degenerate

“Agree. Someone threatened by teddy bears in a relationship is a new one for me on this sub, lol.”

“YTA, his bears bring him comfort and joy, not sure why you’d want to take that away… -_- Either get over yourself and be a better partner or let him go to find someone who doesn’t shame him.” – squuidlees

“YTA – You made the comment “As far as I know, nothing happened to him…” which is exactly right.”

“You have no idea what went on in this man’s life to get to this point but still feel like its ok to judge him. If it makes him happy and doesn’t hurt anyone, then what’s the problem?”

“He is a fully functioning man making enough money for a three-bedroom home. Leave him to his toys.” – GoblinandBeast

“YTA. The dude has his life together to the point where he owns a 3-bed house. He’s allowed his coping mechanisms.”

“Everyone has their weird quirks; if his are really too much for you to tolerate, this isn’t the relationship for you.” – Venetrix2


“‘Should I encourage him to get a hobby or something?’”

“I think he’s already got one, but you don’t approve of it.”

“‘I told him he should grow up and stop being crazy. He started crying and is now in the room talking to the stupid bear again instead of talking it out with me.’”

“The first part of your sentence doesn’t suggest that talking it out is what you wanted.” – diminishingpatience

“YTA in this situation, and quite frankly, if this is the biggest issue you have with your bf then you should consider yourself lucky.”

“I’m in a throuple and both my partners [Female age 25] [Female age 28] love stuffed animals and squishmellows of all kinds. Our room is full of them.”

“I’d never think to tell them to get rid of them. If it’s not weird for an adult female, then it shouldn’t be weird for an adult male.”

“Sometimes people don’t always get to have stuff like that during childhood, so they try to make up for it later in life. Why make him get rid of something that makes him happy?” – thebaylorweedinhaler

“You made him cry over something personal and private that probably brings him a sense of comfort. Do I have to tell you YTA?”

“Everyone has something about themselves that isn’t ’normal.’”

“If the worst thing he does is talk to a stuffed animal, you have it better than you think you do, and if you don’t like it, end the relationship so he can find someone who loves his quirks and all.” – Environmental_Bee678

“So you’re saying that you have a sweet, financially stable bf but you’re going to screw up your relationship because you’re embarrassed he has a childish side?”

“I’m sure if you dump him, he can find someone who appreciates him. Yta” – Odd_Negotiation_557

“Does he think they talk back to him? That they are alive? That they are the reincarnation of some dead person? No? Then YTA.”

“He has found a safe mechanism for dealing with stress and sadness.”

“While it’s a bit unusual, the premise isn’t all that much different than keeping a journal, but instead of writing it out, he’s talking it out to an inanimate object.”

“And you act like a complete AH over it, then wonder why he isn’t talking to you?”

“So many people turn to drugs, or alcohol, or risky behaviors, or develop eating disorders, or self-harm in response to stressors, and you’re complaining about teddy bears?”

“Maybe the issue is that he turns to the teddy bears because he isn’t getting emotional support from his partner.” – Material-Profit5923


“He has a hobby. Sounds like what he needs is a new partner.” – DemonicSymphony

“YTA and a bully. I hope he breaks up with you. What a jerk.”

“I always wish I could reach out to the partners of the people who make these posts and show them the comments so they can see how awful their person is and how they don’t need to be treated that way.”

“There are way better people out there to settle for someone who bullies you.” – axley58678

YTA, you should be happy he didn’t break up with you yet. In most societies, men aren’t ‘allowed’ to openly show their feelings or admit to liking more childish stuff like that.”

“So why do you make him feel bad about something that gives him joy? People should stop trying to take the joy away from others.” – Alqeta

“YTA, maybe try to accept your boyfriend’s quirky side instead of trying to force him to change.”

“Teddy bears aren’t hurting anyone, and if it brings him joy, why would you get in the way of his existing hobbies?”

“Shame on you for shaming him.” – Djorgal


“Why is this such an issue? The relationship is normal, and he does not even have that many teddy bears. You would faint if you saw my collection.”

“Seems like he has a hobby, but you don’t approve of it. I would suggest you get a hobby instead of getting so worked up over stuffed animals.”

“And don’t even dare to throw them away or sell them when he is not there. Because I can already see your next post.” – Amar_Akbar_Anthony20

“YTA that’s not even that many teddy bears, I mean, have you seem some grown peoples’ squishmallow collections?”

“it makes him happy, and it’s pretty normal these days to see adults with big plushie collections.”

“might be concerning that he’s talking to them, but this post obv isn’t out of concern. It’s just you being judgemental” – M4RC3L111

“YTA. Look, we all collectively went through a trauma a few years ago, and people developed different coping strategies. It’s not hurting anyone, just don’t be so judgemental and rude.” – EvenOrchid6345

“YTA. Unless what he’s doing is unhealthy than what gives you the right to dictate what he buys? Why don’t you just go out and find yourself a manly man Andrew Tate type.” – Jbwest31

Plot twist.

“Ok so confession time. I’m actually the boyfriend that was yelled at to clarify it’s a same-sex relationship.”

“What set my boyfriend off was the plushie I got was from Paw Patrol. I guess it made him extra mad since it’s a kids’ show.”

“I just saw it as a cute police dog and didn’t even know what it was from. So I made this post from his view to see if he is right and I am a freak and weirdo, among other names he calls me.”

“Like I said, I completely support myself, so it’s not like I miss work for my stuffed animals.”

“I think it started because the past few years have been scary for the world as whole, and I’m already really sensitive. He would tell me things like man up etc, and I try to but can’t.”

“I can’t tell you, guys, how much reading all the supportive posts that it’s ok for me to have plushies have made me cry from the support.”

“As for the talking thing, when I talk to my bears, it’s mostly me venting about my day while listening to quiet music.”

“I’m glad to know that he is the a**hole, and I’m not a monster for wanting to hug teddy bears.” – Vancil (OP)

I hope the OP brings the receipts to his boyfriend when he tells him to kick it.

And a few more receipts for some new plushies to add to his collection.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)