There is little more frustrating than unrequited love.
Particularly when you find yourself attracted to someone in a committed relationship.
Leaving you to wonder if this relationship will last, or possibly worse, wondering if you might be the one they were with had you gotten to them first.
Redditor abc_throwaway7 noticed that one of her classmates seemed to have a crush on her boyfriend, something she later found out to be true after overhearing her.
While this initially didn’t bother the original poster (OP) to a great degree, things changed quite a bit when her classmate believed that she and the OP’s boyfriend shared a “connection”, after they were placed in a somewhat intimate situation.
Requiring a frustrated OP to set this classmate straight and put her in her place.
Wondering if she was too hard on her classmate, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling the girl who kissed my boyfriend for a play that she is desperate and pathetic?”
The OP explained how one simple kiss led her classmate to believe that she and the OP’s boyfriend were meant for each other, in-spite of the fact that he was already taken.
“I (19 F[emale]) study drama at uni, and my boyfriend is on the same course.”
“My boyfriend is a really good-looking guy, but he doesn’t seem to know it.”
“He gets a lot of attention from girls and for the most part, doesn’t seem to get that they’re flirting with him.”
“I’m not generally annoyed by this, and never really say anything.”
“However, there’s one girl in our class, let’s call her Victoria, who is obsessed with my boyfriend.”
“She goes out of her way to be paired with him in group activities.”
“For example, if the professor picks groups by numbering us 1, 2, 3, she will move herself to be in the same number as him.”
“She recently stepped down from a main role in a play we’re doing so she could be in a more minor one, simply because this character has a romance with my boyfriend.”
“I know this is the case, because I’ve heard her say to her friends that she thinks he’s hot and what not.”
“I’ve never said anything to her about it, because she seems pretty insecure, always complaining about how she thinks she’s ugly, and I don’t see it as a big deal because my boyfriend doesn’t care.”
“However, we recently performed the play and had a small afterparty where she got slightly drunk and was bragging about how she ‘definitely felt something’ when they kissed in the play and she’s ‘going to ask him if he felt the same’.”
“I rolled my eyes and again ignored it, until she actually went up to my boyfriend.”
“She was a little bit drunk, and when she went up to him I was there too.”
“Victoria started saying that she knows he must have felt a spark, he’s a really good kisser, etc.”
“I snapped, and sort of shouted at her that ‘you sound incredibly desperate, going after somebody else’s boyfriend’.”
“You’re pathetic if you think a stage kiss means you should be together’.”
“She looked super embarrassed and walked away, and I later heard she’d gone home crying.”
“I feel like a dick because she’s obviously insecure and whatnot, and her friends haven’t stopped calling me a b*tch since.”
“She 100% knows that I am his girlfriend, I have heard her talking about me being his girlfriend before.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
NTA – Not The A**hole
YTA – You’re The A**hole
NAH – No A**holes Here
ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP had every right to call our Victoria for her aggressive and invasive behavior and was not the a**hole for doing so.
Everyone agreed with the OP that Victoria crossed a line, and should not have made a move on her boyfriend knowing he was involved with her, let alone right in front of her, even if some felt she could have handled it a bit better.
“She’s been trying to get at your boyfriend for a while, and you maturely didn’t engage, because it was clear that she didn’t have a chance.”
“She literally came up to him, when you were right next to him, and tried to have a conversation about ‘feelings’.”
“That’s ridiculous, and you were trying be nice at first, but I don’t think you had to be, after that happened.”
“Thinking that a stage kiss meant something with someone else’s boyfriend is pathetic.”
“Seemed like she wasn’t going to stop until she heard that.”- poetinahat
“She took it WAY too far.”
“Approaching him about it was out of line.”- proteins911
“NTA, she was delusional and you bought her back down to earth.”
“Needed to happen, you tried to ignore it but she kept pushing.”- Maaanwhocares
“I will assume she was aware you two were dating.”
“Therefore to approach your boyfriend and try to begin a relationship with him right in front of you is very disrespectful.”
“She clearly does not care that you are in a relationship and instead wants what she wants and does not care who she hurts.”
“Sure you were a bit harsh.”
“However it was the truth.”-Voidg
“That was sh*tty of her.”
“To OP, I don’t think you did anything most people wouldn’t do, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it was the best option.”
“Like you said yourself, she most likely has a low self esteem and took things way too seriously. “
“Not to mention we all do dumb things when drink is involved.”
“But I want to reiterate that you are not a bad person, even if it could have been handled better.”-xz03yx
“She is pathetic.”- DerPicasso
“Play with fire and she got burned! “
“You don’t do dumb sh*t in front of a couple.”
“Glad you stood your ground, hopefully she will have learned her lesson.”- kidcuddly1
“You let your emotion get the best of you which can happen to any of us, especially on the topic of a SO.”
“She would have kept making moves until she got what she wanted.”
“You did the right thing.”
“Sometimes it takes being a little extra for people to get the message.”- kiwifuzz11
“You have been insanely tolerant of her pathetic antics and she’s been ignoring your obvious existence with her creepy stalker crap right in front of you.”
“One way to look at it I guess is that your BF should feel flattered that he already has a clingy pathetic fan girl and his only a Freshman in theater school! “
“Weird power play to choose to hit on him right in front of you.”
“I mean, she’s the a**hole either way, but what did she think was going to happen?”
“He’d push you into a ditch and fall dramatically into her arms?”- asymmetrical_sally
“Were you just supposed to sit and watch while she tried to steal your man?”
“I think you did good for standing up for yourself.”
“She was disrespectful for saying that.”
“Though, you might’ve came on too strong when you said that to her, although she should check herself because she cant just talk all that shit and cry wolf about being insecure.”
“She seemed secure enough to be saying all of that about your bf and her.”
“I hope you don’t think you’re an a**hole.”
“Or that you were wrong in saying that to her, perhaps the apology would be how you said it.”
“Regardless, I hope she reflect on her actions too.”
“What she did was not ok.”- zuumz
“She needs to stay in her lane.”- thicklover
“But you still should have let your boyfriend shoot her down himself.”- SubstantialShow8
“In fact you would’ve been okay to nip that even earlier.”
“Ignore her friends.”
“All’s fair in love and war, so obviously her friends will defend her.”
“Likewise, you were in the right to call her out when she crossed the line repeatedly.”
“Nobody should put up with that kind of blatant disrespect.”
“I’m wondering if your boyfriend would have said anything if you hadn’t jumped in.”- liililiilllllll
“You miss, are NTA.”- diabetic_bennie
“She is clearly violating your bf’s boundaries and was completely unprofessional.”
“You had every right to do what you did, I guess she doesn’t understand what acting means lol.”-AlwaysSomebodyCool
“Honestly I think you kept your composure for way longer than I would have.”
“And you honestly didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”- inimitable428
It is understandable that Victoria got carried away, and deluded herself into thinking that the kiss she shared with the OP’s boyfriend was more than just a stage kiss.
But these were thoughts she should have kept to herself, and not acted upon when she knew he had a girlfriend.
Hard as those words likely seemed to her in the moment, Victoria should ask herself how she would have reacted had the tables been turned.