Today’s episode of Bridezilla or Not features a groom’s best man, his girlfriend, and his potential dog.
The wedding is set to occur in Italy in October with a humble bridal party.
Recently, the best man and his girlfriend made plans to get a puppy. Because of this upcoming responsibility, the girlfriend decided they wouldn’t be able to attend the wedding.
The bride in question, Redditor Disastrous-Day-3751, was furious about this entire situation and confronted the girlfriend.
The Original Poster (OP) turned to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
She asked:
“AITA for being mad at the best man’s gf for making him choose between a dog and our wedding?”
She went on to explain:
“My fiancé [male age 29] and I [female age 26] got engaged last October after 6 years together and plan to marry this October.”
“We both have a very complicated family’s so we thought a lot about our wedding and decided that we just want peace and don’t want to worry about all the family drama.”
“So we planned to get marry in Italy with only our best man and maid of honor. It’s only a 4 hours drive to a small city we once discovered on a road trip.”
“We invited my maid of honor / his best man to the wedding (call him Mike, [male age 29]) and told them that they could bring there significant other also.”
“The trip would be fully paid and Mike is my fiancé best friend since kindergarten.”
“Mikes girlfriend (let’s call her Courtney, [female age 28]) and him are together for 3 years. We were very welcoming towards her and I befriended her also.”
“We did a lot of things together, helped them move and build their home.”
“Mike and Courtney are getting a dog (hopefully in September) so Mike told us he needed a different hotel because the one we choose is not dog friendly…”
“…and at the time of our wedding (October) they would probably have the dog. We apologised and looked for another hotel.”
“Then he texted that Courtney thinks the dog wouldn’t make the long drive which we understood.”
“We said that there are probably a lot of friends and family who could take the dog but Courtney doesn’t want that.”
“Mike told us that Courtney would probably stay home with the dog and he would travel alone.”
“Here comes the drama: the following day Mike wrote us he will not come to our wedding because Courtney doesn’t want to be alone with the dog for the weekend…”
“…and she also would like to attend the wedding. Courtney wrote to me that we could change our wedding month or the place (maybe just a wedding in our hometown) so that they could come.”
“I said no. If we married in our hometown the families would want to attend and all the drama between parents and siblings would stress us out.”
“My fiancé asked Mike again if he couldn’t come alone and he finally told us that Courtney threatened to end the relationship if he doesn’t stay with her (and the dog).”
“My fiancé was absolutely sad and disappointed and told Mike his feelings. He’s normally not over emotional but that was hard for him.”
“Courtney wrote me the following day as if nothing has happened and I told her that I’m absolutely disappointed in her and can’t understand her behaviour…”
“…and how she puts this dog (who is in absolutely no danger or need to have two people dog sitting him) over our wedding and kind of excepted her to apologise for all the stress she put us through.”
“She called me an insensitive and offensive person, a bride-zilla who wants her wedding above everything and said she couldn’t accept my behaviour even if I apologised.”
“I just can’t comprehend why I should apologize. I feel like I can express to friends if I’m disappointed, and I absolutely didn’t write anything offensive.”
“To clarify: there is no dog yet. They talked to a breeder, he said that IF his dog mama get pregnant and has more than 3 babies they would get one in September.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“Woah what the f*ck.”
“That girl is way out of line; that’s some crazy behavior.”
“There is zero valid reason Mike can’t attend. He’s pretty spineless too himself to allow her to dictate his plans like this.”
“Courtney is the kind of person not worth knowing. I’d begin to exclude her from everything but continue to invite Mike to things.”
“Eventually he will realize that she is preventing him from doing things.”
“NTA” – BulbasaurRanch
“Oh dear god. OP, tell Mike and Courtney you will be getting married as planned. And staying at your chosen motel-as planned.”
“And if Mike would like to have a free getaway and stand up for his longtime best friend, you would love for him to come. But if he can’t, he will be replaced.”
“You don’t have to care if Courtney comes. Mike seems to like her, but she sounds unreasonable and angry. (I wouldn’t be upset at all if she didn’t come).”
“You are trying to have an easy wedding. This is almost an elopement. If Mike and Courtney can’t get onboard with your plans, you can move forward without them.”
“Your wedding isn’t about them-or the dog they might have adopted by your wedding date – and how the dog can’t be left with a caretaker for a couple of days.”
“Because the GF of your fiancés best friend can’t bear to do that. I roll my eyes. NTA” – YouthNAsia63
“NTA”
“Courtney completely sucks and is plain unreasonable. I’m also very curious why they can’t simply postpone getting a dog for a month.”
“It’s his best friend since kindergarten, not some cousin twice-removed.” – spamz_
“NTA – and I feel a bit sorry for Mike tbh.”
“They don’t even have a dog yet – I think even looking for another hotel so that their currently non-existant dog could travel with them was incredibly accommodating of you.”
“There are several solutions available to them: wait and get a dog after the wedding; have a family member dog sit; put the dog into kennels; have courtney stay home with the dog.”
“But the only solutions Courtney feels are acceptable would be for Mike to miss his best friend’s wedding (where he is to be best man)…”
“…or for you to completely change your wedding dates or venue to accommodate their currently non-existent dog.”
“You have nothing to apologize for. There is something else going on with Courtney.”
“I really hope that Mike does go to the wedding because I think he will regret it later if he doesn’t.” – deathandtaxes2023
The OP went on to post an update:
“UPDATE: We discussed sending this thread to „Mike“ but decided ultimately against it as he first wanted to talk to „Mike“ himself (before revealing that I posted the whole thing on the internet).”
“They met in secret yesterday (Courtney was at work), and Mike broke down crying. It’s been super stressful for him. He had asked his family (especially his mum) to dog sit, but Courtney declined.”
“His mother was furious that he would miss my fiancé’s wedding (she loves him!), but Courtney told her that she had changed her mind and decided to let Mike go…”
“…but that I then wrote her an offensive and mean message, so they decided against it. Mike lost it at that and told his family that she had never allowed him and that my message wasn’t mean at all.”
“He really told her that he wants to go and she should just live with that. She cried a lot, and he felt bad.”
“My fiancé told him that he asked another friend of them (who has a little child) to come and he said yes”.
“His wife even asked us if we wanted her and the baby to come (she would understand if that’s too much) but we were happy also to invite them.”
“Mike cried after hearing this and realized that he will NOT attend our wedding now because of Courtney.”
“Today Mike wrote my husband that Courtney told him that she was overreacting because she had the feeling he wouldn’t value the dog and that it’s a good practice thing for a baby.”
“She doesn’t want to apologise to us but would accept if he goes to the wedding. I think Mikes’s family made it very clear that they think she’s crazy for this, and she wants to be viewed as a good person.”
“My fiancés said that he won’t change that back and that Mike sadly will miss the wedding because we can’t be sure that there is no more drama with Courtney.”
“I know that this is hard for my fiancé, but he hopes that Mike realizes now what Courtney will cost him now and in the future.”
“Thanks for all the good wishes, and I’m happy to be married in Italy this October – without Courtney! <3”
Best of luck, OP, and congratulations!