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Guy At A Loss After Girlfriend Brings Home A Fourth Rescue Cat Without Consulting Him First


Cats are great.

Yes, people may have preferences in their choice of pet, but everyone can appreciate a sweet cat.

But is there such a thing as too many cats?

Or too many pets in general?

Case in point…

Redditor notdocdoolittleaita wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA For telling my GF that if she brings one more animal home I am taking all of them to a shelter?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My G[irl]F[riend] (28 F[emale]) and I (29 M[ale]) have been together for 3 years and moved in together about a year ago.”

“We live in one half of a duplex.”

“We picked this place specifically because the owner allowed pets.”

“My GF had 2 cats when we moved in together so we only looked at places that allowed pets.”

“Before we moved in together, she would joke about her dream of becoming a ‘crazy cat lady.'”

“At least, I thought she was joking.”

“She follows a lot of social media that focuses on stranded, neglected, and abandoned animals.”

“She’s always had a soft spot for animals.”

“She used to just share pictures of missing animals in our area to raise awareness and to try and get the animals back to their owners.”

“But after we moved into our new place, she started bringing some home.”

“In the first 6 months that we moved in, she brought in 2 new cats.”

“These new cats were in need of help, I don’t deny that.”

“They needed medical care and were malnourished.”

“She took them to the vet and helped nurse them back to health.”

“When she brought them home (without telling me about it,) both were supposed to be short-term.”

“Kind of like a foster until they found long-term owners.”

“But we still have both of them.”

“Also, both took a lot of adjusting to our place and damaged some items in our house, but nothing that couldn’t be replaced.”

“Our place has 3 bedrooms so we have plenty of space for the cats to have room to roam, and thankfully none of them have problems with sharing litter boxes (we have 3).”

“I’ve talked to her about how I don’t appreciate that she just brought these cats into our home without talking to me about it.”

“She defended herself by saying that these cats needed help and if she didn’t care for them, it’s very possible they would not make it.”

“Yes, that’s sad, but it’s also very disrespectful to me to just bring them into our home, in my opinion anyway.”

“Last month she brought home another cat that had been abandoned.”

“Again, without talking to me about it.”

“This time I admit I got pretty mad.”

“I told her that I want that cat gone within 2 weeks.”

“I felt like that’s a reasonable amount of time to find out arrangements for it.”

“Well, the cat is still here.”

“GF says she can’t find a good home for it.”

“This past weekend she told me she wants to bring in another cat.”

“Kudos to her I guess, she’s learning to talk to me first.”

“I told her absolutely not.”

“I told her we already have too many cats and that if she brings in another one, I will take all of them except her 2 original cats to the nearest shelter.”

“She flipped out on me and called me a callous and uncaring AH.”

“She said these are animals in need and she is capable of providing them the care they need.”

“She said they would probably be dead without her help.”

“I told her that sucks, but animals die every day and I’m not going to allow her to keep bringing new animals into our home just because she feels sad for them.”

“I know that sounds uncaring, but I’m literally surrounded by cats and I hate it.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA Your girlfriend is developing an animal hoarding mentality.” ~ penguin_squeak

“This was my first thought.”

“My aunt started doing this (while also just hoarding).”

“People don’t do this unless they’re trying to fix something in themselves.” ~ Aggravating_Start411

“She can also volunteer at shelter and adoption events.”

“If she wanted to make the biggest difference for cats, she could raise money and spread awareness about spaying and neutering.”

“In lieu of birthday, anniversary, Christmas gifts, she can ask for donations for spay and neuter clinics.”

“We did this for a birthday for a family member.”

“Instead of gifts we all have them money and they were able to take $200 to a clinic that does $10 spays/neuters.”

“That’s 20 cats that can’t reproduce which keeps thousands of kittens from being born!”

“That alone makes a difference!”

“Hoarding animals does very little to help them.”

“They are in a duplex that is probably not big enough for that many cats.”

“Cats are persnickety and can suffer greatly if they feel threatened or anxious.”

“She could be making their lives worse and it could be making their original cats suffer.”

“You don’t have to take in every animal in order to make a difference.”

“My mom used to take in animals but got so emotional and financially drained.”

“She now volunteers, spreads awareness, and donates items shelters or vet clinics need.” ~ pizzasauce85

“If the GF really want to help the cats, there are others way.”

“But that she won’t even search a new home for those cats.”

“She doesn’t do animals a favor if she hoards them, even if she has the money. NTA.” ~ EvilFinch

“She could foster for a rescue.”

“Man I want to hoard dogs but instead I foster for a group that does the adoption applications.”

“They just send potential adopters my way and the animals go to good homes after I nurse them back to health.”

“It’s very gratifying.”

“OP should try to connect his gf with a local cat rescue that actually lists the animals on Petfinder so she can work within an organization.”

“The only way I see out that’s not gonna trigger more hoarding. Gotta redirect that energy.” ~ black_rose_

“You should also look up local laws.”

“Where I live legally you can only have 4 of the same animal in a residence.”

“Also NTA and she needs therapy for her savior complex.”

“Find a local no-kill shelter and start bringing the cats there so she has no excuse.”

“Don’t frame it as cats die every day, put it as there’s a place that’s more equipped to help them.” ~ raccoon_eyes_xj9

“Hopping on the top comment to hopefully provide some steps for OP and his GF to take.”

“This is unhealthy; you cannot randomly bring animals into a shared house without having a conversation.”

“It is also unhealthy for your gf to hoard animals.”

“I can see where she is coming from; I myself have always been animal obsessed.”

“The best cure you can find for ‘kitten/puppy fever’ is volunteering at a shelter.”

“Or just getting a job at one.”

“As a teenager I would always bring animals home.”

“I wanted to save them and love them.”

“So, I worked at a shelter for a few years.”

“I spent all day around animals, helping them and feeding them and playing with them.”

“It was an amazing job, and I never felt like I needed to bring them home with me.”

“I knew they were in the best place they could be, because they were receiving medical attention, socialization with staff and other animals, and would eventually go to a loving home.”

“If I ever found an animal in need, I took it to the shelter where I worked and didn’t feel like I needed to bring it home, because the shelter was the best place for it.”

“OP, I’d encourage your GF to volunteer or get a job working at a rehabber or at an animal shelter.”

“It’s extremely rewarding and it also helps curb the need to actually own so many animals, since you’re seeing them every day.” ~ HelloKalder

“Absolutely all of this.”

“But just to add some context to resolving the current situation…”

“This is geographically dependent, but I encourage OP to look at the realities of the shelter situation where they are before setting any hard deadlines.”

“For example…”

“In my mid-sized US city, cat rescues have literally no room right now.”

“Kitten season has been brutal this year and is still happening.”

“I work with street cats, and any rescues we do are resorting to an informal network of foster houses while they go on every waitlist.”

“Two weeks seems like it should be plenty of time to find a home for a cat.”

“But one of ours was just adopted two weeks ago after living with a foster who is absolutely amazing at promoting her cats since January.”

“It’s absolutely not okay for GF to bring in pets—short or long term—without consensus from anyone else living in the house.”

“And OP is perfectly justified in saying no more.”

“But for the ones who are already there, I hope he is able to be realistic about what’s possible and show the compassion to get them properly homed, even if it takes longer than is ideal.” ~ Strict_Extension_184

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

For some people, there is such a thing as too many cats.

And you’re allowed to have a limit.

Sounds like it’s time for you and the GF to have a real sit down and discuss rehoming.