They say opposites attract.
But for some couples, there are some things on which they disagree to such an extent it simply makes their relationship untenable.
This can be on fairly serious things such as religious beliefs to relatively minor things, such as taste in food or style.
Redditor Dingoatemycat69420 found himself surprised when his girlfriend threatened to break up with him due to a choice he made regarding his outward appearance.
His girlfriend’s threat having given him second thoughts about his decision, the original poster (OP), took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for getting a tattoo without my girlfriends permission?”
The OP first filled readers in about where he and his girlfriend both are in their young lives, and how he wanted to celebrate his recent accomplishments.
“For context I am 19 in college and she is 18 in high school going to college an hour away from me next year.”
“My first semester I went through a lot of crap to get where I am and I am incredibly proud of my work.”
“So with parental permission, I got a peacock on my ankle.”
“No big deal, I was assuming.”
As it turned out, it wasn’t his parents whom the OP should have asked for permission.
“Turns out it’s a big deal, and now my girlfriend is threatening to break up with me.”
“She is mad saying how my style was already garbage and how she has waited for me to fix it and I never did and I told her I was willing to work with her to help that.”
“Then she finds out about this tattoo and now says she’s threatening to break up with me.”
“She sent the tattoo to her whole family and they have all sent the pic to me saying how gross and bad it is.”
“Even though my family loves it.”
“She’s mad how I did not ask for permission and says it doesn’t fit her values of how we should be together.”
“Currently in crisis mode trying to work this out.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community stood firmly behind the OP, and unanimously agreed he was not the a**hole for getting his tattoo without his girlfriend’s permission.
Everyone agreed that the OP was the only person who had a say as to what he did to his own body, with many hinting that it was in his best interest to seriously reevaluate his relationship.
“Your body, your choice.”
“Also, she sounds kind of crazy.”
“Almost seems like she’s treating you as an accessory instead of a bf.”
“NTA.”-mdthomas.
“NTA.”
“Your body, your choice.”
“And you really need to rethink your choice of girlfriend.”
“It is one thing for her express that she doesn’t care for the tattoo.”
“It is another for her to publicly shame you.”- del901.
“Dude run.”
“The tattoo is for you.”
“I hate tattoos but would never even comment on someone getting one, it’s their business, their body.”
“If she doesn’t like you as you are she is not worth the effort.”
“Asking permission is for parents and bosses.”
‘NTA.”-Responsible_Candle86.
“NTA it’s your body FAM.”
“My opinion here: Red Flag. Run.”- Orio_Cookies.
“Kid, high school romances rarely last outside of high school.”
“So don’t worry about breaking up with her, you’ll find more open-minded women who’ll love your tattoo.”
“Also bringing her mommy and daddy into your arguments just shows how immature she still is.”
“NTA.”- your-yogurt.
“NTA and this is not the girl for you.”
“Thank her very much for showing you who she is and bid her farewell.”
“Anyone who truly loves you would never ever treat you this way.”
“You will be so much happier!”
“Congratulations on the hard work too!”- Krishnacat2663.
“NTA.”
“You don’t need her permission when it comes to choices about your body.”
“What she’s doing is the a pit of me of manipulation.”
“Knock her off her petal stool and say, ‘You’re right, we should break up’.”-iMESSupCOMMONphrases.
“NTA.”
“Babe, you’re working so hard and you should be proud and able to celebrate that however you like.”
“You have so much to look forward to, and so many experiences in the present that deserve your energy far more than a negative relationship at this point in your life.”
“It sounds like you may be outgrowing her, and maybe she knows that, hence her making this weird power play.”
“Go ahead and grow.”
“This isn’t a crisis, it’s a threat.”
“And she got her family to gang up on a 19 year old.”
“That’s not love, honey.”
“Now get out there and show off that tat.”- Brilliant_Rock_5230.
“NTA She’s mad controlling.”
“It’s your body, you get to decide what to do with it.”
“Use that newly peacocked ankle to walk away from her.”- cantankerouswhale.
“NTA.”
“Your girlfriend is totally an a**shole covered in a**hole with a**hole sauce on the side.”
“How is she an a**hole?”
“Let us count the ways.”
“One, she didn’t like your ‘style’ and was waiting for you to fix it??”
“What the actual f*ck?’
“Two, She doesn’t like a tattoo that has a deep significant meaning to you because because she didn’t like how it looked.”
“And she didn’t care how meaningful it is to you?”
“Three.”
“She threatened to break up with you.”
“Because of something as superficial as a meaningful tattoo.”
“She is using your relationship to make you act the way she wants you to.”
“Four, but wait, there’s f*cking more.”
“She passes around the picture of your tattoo so her family can shame you.”
“Five, seriously, there is more.”
“She is mad that you didn’t ask her permission?”
“You are f*cking 19.”
“You don’t need her permission.”
“The only good thing that came out of this is that she revealed who she truly is.”-NextTimeOnJudgeDredd.
“NTA.”
“It’s a huge red flag that she is so harshly judging your style and expecting you to change.”
“You don’t need her permission or approval.”-the_glass_gecko.
“NTA a partner who loves you wouldn’t do any of that.”
“Time to break up and move on.”- tratcove.
“RUN!!! “
“You’re too young for this crazy chick, move on.”
“No one should tell you what you can or can’t do at this point in life, especially not your 18 year old girlfriend who already treats you like sh*t.”
“Run, run fast.”
“Enjoy life, focus on school and have some fun.”
“NTA.”- JanellaDubois.
“NTA.”
“And do yourself a favor and dump her.”
“She’s toxic!”-Pagesofdreams112.
“NTA.”
“You don’t need her permission.”
“It’s your body.”
“Big red flag there.”- kylecs7637.
“NTA.”
“You didn’t need her permission, or anyone’s.”
“She sounds awful, just dump her, and find someone who doesn’t belittle you and manipulate you.”-PhotonBath.
“Let her break up with you.”
“Or you break up with her.”
“When I was 18, I wanted a tattoo and my tongue pierced.”
“My then boyfriend told me he’d leave me.”
“Guess what?”
“We broke up anyways.”
“The first thing I did was get a tattoo.”
“My only one too.”
“Do what makes you happy.”
“You’re both young and you shouldn’t put up with that.”
“NTA.”-kochenta2020.
“Your body, your choice.”
“Also if ‘your style was already garbage’ then she doesn’t want you.”
“She wants to change you.”
“You need somebody who loves you for yourself.”
“I’ve been there too.”
“Never again.”- AtmosFear_666.
“NTA.”
“Break up with her.”
“That’s super immature and I assume that will continue.”-Spoopyowo.
“NTA.”
“I’ve been married for over 10 years.”
“Recently I decided I wanted a tattoo.”
“I contacted a tattooist and had him help me design it.”
“Then I asked my spouse when we could afford it.”
“I never asked for permission.”
“My SO told me we had the funds available now, so I scheduled an appointment and got the tattoo.”
“I did show the design to my SO beforehand because I wanted their opinion.”
“I did make a minor change to the design based on that opinion.”
“My SO only made the suggestion because they know I wasn’t a big fan of the color being used, not because they didn’t like it.”
“It’s your body dude.”
“Do what makes you happy.”
“Let her breakup with you.”
“Be with someone who is happy that you’re you.”- Ninja_Dolphin.
“NTA, but your relationship is – or should be – over.”
“Find a better girlfriend.”-s1m0n_s3z.
“Hey, kiddo, you sound like a good person and good for you for finding your way through your struggles.”
“Kick her to the curb.”
“You went through something and chose to remind yourself that you’re able to overcome some weighty obstacles, if that’s how you want to memorialize that & keep yourself going, then why does it matter to anyone else?”
“Her lack of maturity and understanding is coming through HARD.”
“If she can’t support & love you over a tattoo she’ll rarely see, where is she going to fall on something that actually matters?”
“I hope you find happiness with someone who accepts and sees you, my dear.”-KikiG-.
The controlling nature of the OP’s girlfriend does seem worrisome, to say the least.
Particularly in that she chose to ignore the significance of the tattoo for the OP.
Maybe after a few conversations she might come to realize that.
Otherwise, it sounds like it might not be the worst thing for the OP if this relationship comes to an end.