Borrowing a person’s car is a big responsibility.
Cars and car repairs are expensive, so being careful is a must.
It’s also prudent to be respectful of the owner’s time and property.
If these lines get crossed, a person may not feel as magnanimous with their offer to share the car.
Redditor hitchinaride2025 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally, he came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
He asked:
“AITA For revoking my G[irl]F[riend]’s car privileges?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My GF (26 F[emale]) and I (28 M[ale]) have been together for about 3 years.”
“We’ve lived together for the past 6 months.”
“A couple of months ago, my GF’s car broke down, and the repair estimate was really high.”
“Given that her car was over 10-years old, she decided not to repair it and to start saving for a new one.”
“I agreed with her decision and told her we could make it work by sharing my car until she gets a new one.”
“This past weekend, I had to work on Saturday to put the finishing touches on a big presentation for Monday.”
“When I told my GF about it on Friday night, she asked if she could use my car to go see a friend while I was at work.”
“I told her as long as she drops me off and picks me up when I’m done, that was fine.”
“She dropped me off at my office, and I told her I would text her when I was finishing up so she could come get me.”
“She told me that was fine.”
“It ended up taking my coworkers and me about 3 hours to finish what we had to do.”
“I texted my GF that we were almost done and asked if she could come get me.”
“She said she would be on her way in a few minutes since she was only 15 minutes or so away.”
“As we were locking up the office, my coworkers asked if I needed a ride, and I told them my GF was on her way to get me, so they left to go home.”
“30 minutes pass, and my GF isn’t there yet, so I text again to see where she’s at.”
“She doesn’t respond, so I figure she’s driving.”
“45 minutes and she’s still not there or answering my textt so I give her a call and no answer.”
“At this point, I’m getting pretty frustrated.”
“Finally, over an hour after she responded to my first text, she pulls into the parking lot.”
“She immediately starts apologizing and making excuses for why she was so late.”
“She said her friend is going through a hard time, and they got caught up talking, and she lost track of time.”
“I told her that she could have told me that when I texted her, and I could have gotten a ride with my coworker.”
“Or, she could have responded to my text or answered my call, so I wasn’t sitting there wondering WTF was going on.”
“She just kept repeating that she lost track of time and was sorry.”
“I told her that I think it’s pretty messed up that she was using my car and agreed to pick me up, and dropped the ball so badly.”
“I told her that until she gets her own car, she doesn’t get to use mine for anything other than work.”
“No using my car to go get her nails or hair done, no taking my car to see friends, etc.”
“If she wants to do that stuff, she has to use the bus or Uber.”
“She told me I am overreacting and that it was just one time and that her friend really needed someone to talk to.”
“She said she already has plans for this coming week that she needs the car for, and I told her too bad.”
“She told me I was being a jerk and that I wasn’t even waiting that long.”
“She has asked a couple of times to take the car since then, and I’ve refused to give her the keys.”
“Now she’s pissed at me for not giving in.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So… AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA – These people saying otherwise are the girlfriend.”
“I truly do not see how you can be the a**hole.”
“You tried to be accommodating, and she dropped the ball so f**king hard.”
“10 minutes late is 1 thing, A WHOLE F**KING HOUR is completely disregarding anyone else but herself. “
“These are the natural consequences for her actions; it’s rough, and sucks for her.”
“It is not unnecessary punishment; this is just how the cookie crumbles, just so happens that she took that cookie and smashed it in her f**king hands.” ~ ExcellentSwordfish86
“Not to mention.”
“Even when girlfriend DID realize the time, she didn’t text op ‘hey I’m really sorry, I’m just now leaving, I’ll explain more when I get there.’”
“That would’ve given op plenty of time to cool down, and probably would’ve been over it by the time she got there.”
“It’s the blatant disrespect of OP’s time that bothers me; she wasn’t worried at all that OP might be freaking out thinking she’d been in a wreck on the way.” ~ LewisRyan
“No. No. An hour is just fine… as long as you communicate that that is what’s going to happen!”
“This girl had 0 regard for anyone, as you said.”
“It’s one thing to be late.”
“It happens.”
“It’s entirely different to willfully ignore texts and calls because you know you’re going to be even later, and then make up an excuse.”
“She didn’t lose track of time.”
“People are on their phones constantly and check their messages constantly.”
“No way did a 20-something girl NOT see missed texts and calls for an entire hour when they know they’re supposed to be somewhere.”
“Not a chance.”
“She’s lying to OP. Clearly. NTA.” ~ cheeseburgerwaffles
“Classic. The fact that his girlfriend is entertaining her cheating friend’s ‘hard time’ of her own making is a glaring red flag alone.”
“If my friend cheated, I might not instantly drop them, but you damn well bet I’d tell them that it’s all their f**king fault, and that I’m not going to coddle them and be emotional support for someone who betrayed their partner.”
“Birds of a feather.”
“NTA, but GF is for failing to follow basic instructions, engaging in bare-minimum communication, and for being kinda morally bankrupt as well.” ~ Pvt_Porpoise
“NTA-you told her she could borrow it as long as she picked you up on time, she didn’t, she doesn’t get to borrow the car anymore.” ~ Squirrels-love-me
“For real.”
“OP set a boundary, and now it’s time to enforce it.”
“GF needs to be responsible for her own transportation from now on.”
“OP still allowing her to use it for work is more consideration than I would give her, and it’s certainly more than she gave him. NTA.” ~ punkinqueen
“NTA. She’s mad you’re not letting this slide.”
“Hold firm on the boundary.”
“She was borrowing your property, and it came with a caveat.”
“She didn’t have the decency to send a text that she was delayed.”
“She failed to communicate with you and doesn’t want to deal with the repercussions of her choices.” ~ nikkesen
“NTA because she abused the privilege.”
“There’s no way she could lose track of time so much that she thinks 15 minutes pass when an hour has actually passed.” ~ BigBackeron
“NTA— so she has no problem inconveniencing you by not picking you up and not even answering her phone, but she has a problem if you inconvenience her by not loaning her the car… you were doing her a favor, and she just showed you disrespect.”
“So yeah, she loses the privilege of using the car.”
“She can go Uber, or she can rent a car for the day if she really needs to.” ~ StopBeingAnIdiot132
“NTA. Totally disrespectful.”
“She knew your boundaries, but her friend took precedence, and YOU were expected to suck it up.”
“Sit your a** around for an hour!”
“I can imagine if she were expected to be inconvenienced like that for one of YOUR friends.”
“Actions have consequences.”
“She can still use the car for work, but she needs her nails done and take an Uber.” ~ capricorn40
“NTA. The number of people thinking you’re the a** here highlights how many of you are selfish and are not used to consequences, quit the projection.”
“You did her a favor by letting her use your vehicle, and she took advantage of that, so revoking her privilege would be a natural consequence.”
“She’s your girlfriend, not your wife.” ~ Headup31
“NTA, only because she ignored your texts and calls.”
“If it had been a legitimate lost track of time situation, she could have answered either by saying, oh no!”
“On my way now!”
“But she didn’t.”
“She didn’t even tell you when she was actually on her way.”
“She could have asked for longer, and you could have gotten another ride, but she didn’t do that, which would have been the most honest option.”
“Or she could have picked you up and had you drop her off at her friend’s house again.”
“There are just so many different options that aren’t disrespectful.” ~ Rich-Pirate-4745
OP came back to chat…
“Because people have been asking about her friend’s situation.”
“Her friend is currently separated from her husband and moving towards divorce.”
“She also recently found out that her cat has inoperable cancer and is probably going to have to put it down.”
“So, yes, serious stuff, but not life or death and certainly not an emergency.”
“And for anyone thinking she was with someone else, no.”
“My GF is terrible with directions, and her friend’s house was the most recent destination in my nav system.”
“She could seriously get lost on a parking ramp, so I have no reason to believe she drove anywhere other than her friend’s place.”
Reddit understands your frustration, OP.
You’re doing her a favor.
She should be more respectful of your time and property.
She could’ve at least texted back.
Stand your ground.
Good Luck.