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Mom Kicks Her Mother Out Of House After She Calls Daughter ‘Unladylike’ For Not Wearing Makeup

Teen girl applying lipstick
Rob Melnychuk/Getty Images

It’s 2024 and long past time for “boy” and “girl” gender stereotypes and expectations to go out the window.

But there are still some people, either of an older generation or those raised by them, who still believe in these expectations and bully other people with them, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.

Redditor StockNorth2479 had heard her mother make a few comments about her daughter’s “boyish” attitude but hadn’t put the pieces of the puzzle together yet.

But when her mother said that her daughter was unladylike for not wearing makeup, the Original Poster (OP) wasted no time in speaking out against it.

She asked the sub:

“AITA For Making My Mom Leave My House After Calling My Daughter ‘Unladylike’?”

Looking back, the OP noticed a lot of negative comments her mother had made about her daughter.

“I (40 Female) have a daughter (13 Female) who isn’t exactly a tomboy, but does ‘boy’ activities. I’m saying boy activities for the sake of this post.”

“And my mom (63 Female) is pretty old-fashioned.”

“My daughter isn’t doing a sport right now, but she did a winter sport and a fall sport.”

“Whenever my mom saw her coming back from basketball all sweaty and stuff, she would scrunch her face.”

“She would tell me her being sweaty and nasty isn’t a good ‘image,’ but she wasn’t saying that to my daughter (according to her and my daughter), so I didn’t make too much of it.”

Then the OP’s mother made an inappropriate comment about makeup.

“On Saturday, my husband, daughter, son, and I went to a semi-formal sweet 16.”

“My daughter wore really nice green dress, but my mom’s issue? My daughter doesn’t wear makeup, so she wasn’t wearing any.”

“Upon noticing, she said, ‘Missy, you are very unladylike,’ and before she could sit down, I told her to get on her phone and call someone because she sure as h**l wasn’t staying here after saying that.”

“My brother came and picked her up.”

“Now I wonder whether I overreacted because my daughter didn’t even seem to care and thinking I should’ve let this slide.”


Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some applauded the OP for shutting her mother’s comments down.

“NTA. You are right to shut her down.”

“I am 61, and I remember how oppressive ‘ladylike’ was as a kid. My brothers were never told to be gentlemen (that would never happen unless they were harassing a girl), but my behavior would have been curtailed in very many ways if I only allowed myself to be ladylike.”

“It was wrong in 1969, and it’s very wrong now.”

“And in 1969, a 13-year-old wearing makeup (except maybe nail polish) would have been frowned upon. Your mom is inventing her own standards of womanhood that have never been normal.”

“Keep her away from your daughter. Though truth be known, even in the 60s when ‘ladylike’ was pretty accepted amongst the generation older than my parents, I happily ignored it and carved my own path. Your daughter probably will too, but it’s better to be safe.” – Kimba-the-tabby-lion

“My mom is a ‘makeup before you step outside’ kind of person. But that’s a lot of work. I’m ‘mostly on Sundays for church to feel fancy and whenever I have the whim’ kind of person.”

“One time she tried, ‘Granddaughter, tell your mom she looks so much prettier with makeup,’ on my THREE-YEAR-OLD. I immediately corrected her and said, ‘Tell your grandma I look fine without it and only wear it when I want to.'”

“Luckily she hasn’t tried again, but I’m waiting for it just in case…” – SuspiciousCupcake23

“Well done on shutting her down! I think my Mum’s Mum was a bit like that, very glam herself, and was disappointed in my Mum and I for not being like her.”

“I wear mascara and eyebrow pencil semi-regularly because my hair is mousey brown turning grey and it looks like I have no eyebrows or lashes otherwise. I’ll only wear it if I’m going into my office (two days a week) or meeting friends.”

“My four-year-old has told me to stop painting my face so I could play with him instead. That’s me told!” – quathain

“I am 64 and can’t tell you how many times I was mocked for playing baseball, how I was always told to sit like a lady, and how I was bugged about not wearing make-up (still don’t).”

“I would never tell my granddaughter that!” – LingonberryPrior6896

“I loved your response. I know there are a lot of cool women who are older than me. They aren’t in my family, but when I come across posts like this it makes me so happy.”

“I’m 46 and sometimes I get so annoyed by women older than me, who in my mind, should better appreciate feminism because they witnessed how damaging sexism can be in terms that women today don’t have to deal with.” – cuddleXObunni

Others agreed and felt the daughter needed to be supported in her self-expression.

“NTA. I’m a guy but it REALLY bothers me to see women who feel like they can’t even show their faces in public without painting them up.”

“If one chooses to use makeup, great! However, the expectation that it is required for you to be feminine is downright offensive to me.” – Zakal74

“Your mom’s comments aren’t just outdated, they’re misogynist and gross. Your daughter NEEDS to hear you actively pushing back against them and advocating for her, and for women generally. If you weren’t, she’d pick up on you tacitly approving these messages.”

“You’re being a wonderful mom. There’s no one right way to be a girl or a woman, and your daughter sounds like she has a strong supporter in you on her way to growing up and being her truest self. Thank you! You’re NTA, of course.” – rabidturbofox

“My gran used to press me on about not being ladylike when I was between the ages of three up to 15. To this day, I never feel I’m ‘womanly’ enough due to being unable to wear makeup. It really does stick with you later in life so I’m glad the Mother won’t stand for such talk towards her daughter.” – yellowsparkles8

“34 and my mom never wore makeup, or fancy things, or dresses or skirts unless it was a special occasion.”

“I grew up with a dad who insisted on ‘ladylike behavior’ but who would get all weird about my wearing anything but pants at work (male-dominant field EXCEPT the office, which is usually a mix of male and female). If I even wore more than simple earrings, they’d say, ‘Oh, do you have a date or something?'”

“As a result, I have dozens of dresses that fit me badly, shopping for nice clothes gives me anxiety, makeup was hard for me to learn in my mid-20s on my own, and I have a very impressive collection of chucks because f**k heels.”

“I do clean up nice… but now, only on very, VERY rare occasions.” – BellLilly

“I had to actively break the chains of how I felt without makeup for my daughter’s sake. She’s four now and I make a point to go out barefaced after she said to me while playing dress up, ‘We NEVER go out without makeup right, Mommy?'”

“That was a throat punch. I realized I was training her how my mom trained me and I was setting her up for the life of insecurity that I had. I never wanted her to think that she had to wear makeup or hair extensions or false lashes to be acceptable to leave the house.”

“She has my fine hair and I didn’t want her growing up hating it and hiding everything. She literally thought people put their eyelashes and ponytails on every single day because she saw me do it. I had to explain to her we grow eyelashes. It really f**ked me up.”

“So now I spend more days than not without makeup and extensions and all that. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely still love makeup and extensions but I’m showing her there’s a balance and as long as we are clean and our clothes are clean and teeth brushed and face washed, etc., that’s enough.”

“I make sure to tell her how much I love my features she got from me even if it’s not true, but it’s slowly becoming true because the features I didn’t like about myself I ADORE on her.”

“I just really want her to be able to have the freedom to express herself as is, I don’t want her burdened with having to spend hours getting ready if she doesn’t want to or she’ll feel bad about herself.”

“Sorry about the long rant, it just reminded me that when I go out feeling insecure I’m hopefully absorbing it all so she won’t feel that way in the future.” – salinecolorshenny

“I wish you were my mom, jeez (not sarcasm).”

“My mom was the ONE making the comments about ‘You should wear make-up, you’d be way more beautiful,’ and ‘You aren’t girly enough,’ when I wore leggings/jeans in high school.”

“She almost lost her sh*t when I cut my hair (it was past my chest, and now it’s basically a pixie cut).”


“Keep standing up for your daughter, even if she doesn’t seem to care now; you’ve shown her that you are her ally on matters that you think are important and that you will stand up for her when others are a**holes.”

“She will carry that with her, forever.” – zeeelfprince

The subReddit was overwhelmingly, refreshingly supportive of the OP and her standing up for what her daughter was, and was not, interested in.

Though the OP’s mother felt being ladylike was tied to what her granddaughter wore on her face and body, perhaps she should start thinking more like those who say, “Fight like a girl” with pride.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan has been a part of the George Takei family since 2019 when she wrote some of her favorite early pieces: Sesame Street introducing its first character who lived in foster care and Bruce Willis delivering a not-so-Die-Hard opening pitch at a Phillies game. She's gone on to write nearly 3,000 viral and trending stories for George Takei, Comic Sands, Percolately, and ÜberFacts. With an unstoppable love for the written word, she's also an avid reader, poet, and indie novelist.