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Grandparent Boycotts Babysitting After DIL Secretly Throws Out Cookies They Baked For Grandkids

children help make cookies
RyanJLane/Getty Images

People in the first world adhere to a variety of fad diets. Most are incredibly unbalanced.

No carbs, lots of carbs, no meat, lots of meat, no fats, no sugar, only raw foods, only foods prehistoric hominids would eat, etc… But unless you have food allergies, sensitivities, or specific health conditions like Celiac, all things in moderation is the best advice.

But that advice doesn’t stop people from following the latest fad.

A grandparent turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback after clashing over cookies.

Repulsive_Purple7304 asked:

“AITA for losing my sh*t over cookies when my daughter-in-law tossed them out?”

The original poster (OP) explained:

“I am a good baker, I enjoy making sweet treats for everyone to enjoy. My daughter-in-law (DIL) Emily is very heath conscious and even more so now that they have two kids.”

“She is the type of person who avoids sugars, mostly eats organic, and avoids processed foods. When the grandkids visit I usally make cookies or something sweet for them to enjoy.”

“Every single times she sees them, she usually goes on about how they are unhealthy. We got into an argument about this a few months ago about not giving the kids junk.”

“She acts like I am poisoning them. It’s a cookie. Also I think her relationship with food is unheathy.”

“My son has never had issues with me feeding them treats… not once.”

“It has always been Emily, not to mention food has been an argument between them for a while.”

“I pointed out everything is homemade and I am not only serving them cookies. My son stepped in on this and we compromised that the kids can have one cookie when they are here.”

“This was good for a while until yesterday. The kids came over last night and I made a batch of cookies.”

“They were cooling on the rack.”

“Emily and my son decided to chat a bit before heading out. During that time Emily went into the kitchen and threw away the cookies.”

“When I asked her why she did it, she claimed she was doing me a favor since they are unhealthy. I yelled at her saying that she had no right to throw away food in my home that I had worked hard to make.”

“She got defensive and said she was just trying to help. My son stepped in and told me to calm down, but I was furious.”

“Emily left the room in tears, and now my son is saying I overreacted and should apologize.”

“I told my son that I will not be babysitting until he handles this situation and I will not apologize.”

“I am also pissed since those were my cookies for the week. Chocolate chip with stuffed peanut butter inside.”

The OP summed up their situation.

“Lost my sh*t over cookies when my DIL tossed them out.”

“I may be a jerk since I did lose my cool and may have overreacted.”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was definitely not the a**hole (NTA).

“NTA. Yes, parents get to decide how their children eat, and I think other people should respect that, unless it creates an unreasonable burden—like if they want kids to eat vegan but want you to cook a completely separate meal or they want specific expensive foods but are unwilling to pay for those foods.”

“In this case, you could not serve the kids cookies at all, even if you are doing them a favor by babysitting. But you all COMPROMISED and agreed the kids could each have a cookie.”

“And your DIL didn’t just decide her kids couldn’t have the cookies she agreed to. She threw away cookies you had for YOU, that you made, with your own ingredients, in your own home.”

“You need to be clear with your son, you all agreed to this compromise, and it was incredibly rude for your DIL to throw away your own food in your own home, and there is NO excuse for that.”

“Would he be okay with you going in to their home and opening up the cupboards and throwing away anything you wanted? No, of course not.”

“If DIL had decided she didn’t want her kids to have cookies, she could have said that, instead she destroyed YOUR property.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, you didn’t even call her names, you just yelled at her about the exact thing she did wrong.”

“SHE needs to apologize to you and fully recognize that she drastically overstepped in what is appropriate in someone else’s home.”

“She wasn’t trying to ‘help’ and they both know that, and I wouldn’t let them back in my home at all until they could fully appreciate that and apologize.” ~ mfruitfly

“NTA. What in the world gave Emily the idea she could throw away cookies in someone else’s home‽‽ She doesn’t even have the excuse that she thought they were old or stale or somehow not good to eat, because you said they were on a cooling rack!”

“Emily owes you an apology, because she clearly overstepped in your home. She has a right to say what she wants her kids to eat or not eat, but does not have that right over what you eat and what you have in your kitchen.” ~ anothertypicalcmmnt

“Exactly! I would be furious. Groceries are expensive! And OP spent her time trying to do something nice for her grandkids.”

“OP is NTA, and should not allow Emily in her house until she apologized and agreed to not throw out things that don’t belong to her.” ~ Tinkertailorartist

“It might be a good idea for OP to tally up the amount she paid for the ingredients, and send the bill to her son and DIL with the note, ‘This is what you cost me by “helping” me, and I need reimbursement for the loss’.” ~ CrazyCookie8507

“NTA—how is throwing out food at someone else’s home not an overreaction by Emily? DIL has a ferociously unhealthy relationship with food if she can’t even control her actions around food that doesn’t belong to her.”

“Food isn’t healthy or unhealthy, it’s just food. If she cared so much, she could teach her child about moderation and making choices that are good for their body, rather than micromanaging what the people around her consume.”

“You’ve already come to a reasonable compromise regarding what the children eat while in your home.”

“If the DIL apologizes for throwing out your food, it is only fair to apologize for raising your voice and/or using unkind words—but she disrespected you in your own home, it’s absurd that she thinks you would thank her for it.” ~ quietgrrrlriot

“NTA. Emily is rude as hell. The occasional cookie or two won’t kill the kids.” ~ AgnarCrackenhammer

“Not only that, but throwing out someone’s baked goods in their own home is hella rude. If she doesn’t want the kids to eat a damn cookie, wwhatever, that’s on her.”

“But don’t walk into someone else’s house and bin their food.” ~ dsly4425

“I had an aunt that used to believe in no sweets of any kind. When her son, my cousin, was in high school and there were snack machines he went crazy.”

“All he ever wanted was junk. When he went to friend’s houses all he ever wanted was junk.”

“It’s better to learn to have good things in moderation at an early age.” ~ Spiritual-Print-4879

While this mother can raise her children however she wants, she can’t control her mother-in-law’s diet or her mother-in-law’s home.

Going back on their agreement about cookies and her kids was disingenuous and showed a lack of integrity. But throwing away food she doesn’t like in someone else’s home was just rude and disrespectful.

An apology is definitely required, but not from the OP.

The OP also shared the cookie recipe they use from Jessica at Big Delicious Life.

Ingredients

2 ¼ cups bread flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cornstarch
2 sticks butter I always use salted
1 cup brown sugar
½ cup granulated sugar
2 eggs 1 whole egg + 1 yolk room temperature
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups chocolate chips

Peanut butter filling
½ cup creamy peanut butter
¼ cup powdered sugar

Instructions

    1. In a small bowl, mix peanut butter and powdered sugar. Drop heaping teaspoons onto a parchment lined plate or baking sheet and freeze for an hour until hard.
    2. In a heavy bottom sauce pan, melt butter and let cool slightly.
    3. Whisk together flour, salt, baking soda and cornstarch.
    4. In a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream melted butter, brown sugar and granulated sugar until well combined. About 2 minutes.
    5. Add in whole egg and egg yolk and vanilla extract and mix until thoroughly combined.
    6. Gradually stir in dry ingredients.
    7. Stir in almost all of the chocolate chips. I like to save about ¼ cup to press into the tops of the cookies before baking.
    8. Chill dough for at least one hour before baking.
    9. Scoop out a heaping tablespoon of cookie dough onto a parchment lined baking sheet and make a depression in the center. Place on of the peanut butter fillings in the depression and cover with another heaping tablespoon of dough. Form into a mound, keeping it tall so the cookies will be thick and chewy. Bake six at a time on each sheet as these cookies are large.
    10. When you’re ready to bake, preheat oven to 375 degrees.
    11. Bake for 12-15 minutes until cookies are light golden brown. Start checking them at around 9 minutes and rotate the pan if necessary.

They sound delicious! We’ll certainly be making a batch. Let us know in the comments if you try them, too.

Written by Amelia Mavis Christnot

Amelia Christnot is an Oglala Lakota, Kanien'kehá:ka Haudenosaunee and Metís Navy brat who settled in the wilds of Northern Maine. A member of the Indigenous Journalists Association, she considers herself another proud Maineiac.