Weddings tend to bring a lot of interesting personalities out of the woodwork.
There was no exception for Redditor Regular-Rip1082’s recent nuptials.
The Original Poster (OP) was pressured into inviting his semi-estranged uncle.
The OP hasn’t had much contact with his uncle since he ignored the OP’s family’s plea for help when they were having major financial struggles.
The long-lost uncle decided to attend the OP’s wedding. When he gave the OP his gift he made an insensitive comment, setting the OP off.
The OP turned to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) after an incident developed.
He asked:
“AITA for embarrassing my uncle by asking him to leave my wedding?”
He went on to explain:
“I [34-year-old Male] had my wedding yesterday with my wife Lisa [34-year-old Female]. A lot of our relatives/friends attended, including my uncle, who’s in his mid eighties.”
“He’s never cared about me since I was born, and has not checked in with me either. He was virtually non-existent throughout my life.”
“Years ago, when we were homeless and required help, we reached out to him to lend us some money/help us find another house (he’s really rich and has a lot of connections)…”
“…but he refused anything and never bothered to ask what had become of us either.”
“I didn’t want to invite him to my wedding, but my parents said I had to, and in the end, I did. He came along with his family..”
“…and before the wedding ceremony, he came to me and said congratulations, and then stated…”
“…‘Congratulations. I have also brought you an expensive present, unlike your loser of a father who could not give you much of anything.’”
“I was shocked at the comment. He was just smiling at me, but I lost my temper and said I don’t want anything from him.”
“I yelled at him and asked him to f*ck off from the wedding, etc. It resulted in a huge scene, and in the end, he had to leave, along with his family, who were also yelling at me.”
“My other relatives present there are saying that I reacted very badly, etc. I am wondering whether I did the wrong thing now.”
“AITA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA”
“Your wedding, your rules. He disrespected your father. So he showed no respect to you.”
“So buy an expensive present is a magical key to buy the right to say anything? Absolutely not! Being old neither.”
“You had the right to act that way. And I think people who support him, in fact, just hope to be on his testimony…” – Lyzab77
“NTA – your wedding, your rules.”
“‘Congratulations. I have also brought you an expensive present, unlike your loser of a father who could not give you much of anything.’”
“I would have kicked him out too.” – Comfortable-Sea-2454
“NTA for kicking your uncle out. But yes, you did react badly (to be fair, your uncle’s statement was worth a bad reaction).”
“However, I think there could have been a better way to handle it than taking the attention of what’s most important (you and your wife) and drastically changing the mood.”
“Yelling at him may have made you feel better short term, but that was not the best in front of your guests right before the ceremony.”
“That’s not what you want people to remember or talk about from your wedding.” – Admirable_Coffee7499
“ESH. Your uncle was a prick, but your reaction of yelling and cursing is on you.”
“‘I yelled at him and asked him to f**k off from the wedding, etc. It resulted in a huge scene, and in the end, he had to leave, along with his family, who were also yelling at me.’”
“This is what your groomsmen are for; the best thing would have been to tell your best man to escort your uncle and his family out, and let them be the focal point of any drama that came of it.”
“Unfortunately, a lot of the guests (who aren’t aware of the backstory you have with him) at the wedding will only remember it as the one where the groom screamed at his uncle.” – Gilly_The_Nav
“NTA”
“Your uncle sounds like he had it coming. If he’s going to show up after years of neglect and then insult you at your own wedding, kicking him out was a justified response. Your day.” – onemoreday0
“OP? How does your wife feel? Does she think you overreacted? I do not.”
“That was a straight-up insult. A good uncle would have at least taken care of the kids whether he helped the parents or not. And now, he’s throwing his money around and insulting your dad?”
“No. NTA. But I hope your bride isn’t upset about the fight though I agree it’s justified and kicking his out was definitely justified.” – Icy-Tip8757
“NTA. Sounds like this is the last time your uncle needs to be invited to anything by you. I’m so sorry that happened to you on your wedding day!” – deepspacelady
“With such a comment, I would say he was trying to assert dominance on you and/or your family through money. He failed and you are NTA.” – Couette-Couette
“NTA – your nasty old uncle f*cked around and found out.”
“Probably had a stiffy imagining all the people in the family who would come crawling to him to be in his will, and now he realizes his power play failed.” – NJdeathproof
“NTA”
“You should never have gotten talked into inviting him.”
“I bet the rest of your family is afraid of being cut from his will. They are all AH for not standing by you.” – HereWeGoAgain-1979
“ESH. Uncle is obviously wrong. But you should have also handled this in a more mature way.”
“You have invited him, whether you wanted this or not, so you should have been ready for something like this.”
“He doesn’t owe you anything, and if he came with his family and a present, accept it and move on. If you don’t want to see him, don’t invite in first place.” – KrustyLife
“NTA. It’s your wedding. Not only did you not want to invite the rich jerk in the first place, but he was rude and disrespectful.”
“Your family that is saying you were wrong is more than welcome to take the disrespect and rudeness he dishes out, but you don’t have to.”
“Proud of you for standing up for your family. Wishing you a long and happy marriage.” – effinnxrighttt
“You stood up for your parent. NTA. No one is allowed to talk that way about a member of my family and stay at any social gathering I have.” – Happy_Sunshine123
“NTA!”
“Do the rest of your family know what your uncle said to you about your father?”
“I think your uncle only came to cause issues! It was your wedding and your parents shouldn’t have pressured you to invite someone that only cares about himself!”
“I think your parents wanted you to invite him to maybe gain some ground into possibly getting something from him!”
“But by the sounds of your uncle, nothing would be given to anyone from your side of the family whether you were close to him or not!” – Rare_Repair6124
“‘but my parents said I had to, and in the end I did.’”
“ESH. You, for inviting him when you knew better. Your parents for pressing you to invite your uncle. (They didn’t “make” you invite him). Your uncle for being…himself” – Pteromys44
“ESH”
“1.”
“‘, but my parents said I had to, and in the end I did’”
“Why? Because they paid for your wedding?”
“Either grow a backbone or deal with consequences of taking their money”
“2.”
“‘unlike your loser of a father who could not give you much of anything’”
“This one is pretty clear”
“3.”
“‘yelled at him and asked him to f*ck off from the wedding, etc. It resulted in a huge scene and in the end he had to leave,’”
“Be an adult. You could have walked away and told him off later. Many may not agree with me. But what’s more important.”
“Your big day and your wife’s happiness… or trying prove you’re uncle is a jerk. You probably don’t need any help with that. If he is a jerk everyone probably already knows.”
“You could have just let it be and moved on” – WonderChopstix
“NTA. A little ironic that he said your father couldn’t provide anything when he refused to help all those years ago huh?”
“He technically was/is not obligated to help I guess, but then he REALLY shouldn’t be trying to put your parents down all these years later.” – Significant_Cat_3
“Nta. My dad made me invite his ah brother, who, luckily, ended up declining the invite anyways.”
“When my grandpa had to be moved into a home, ah uncle sued my dad and siblings for control of the estate (which wasn’t much, btw, but, w/e).”
“He agreed to let it go, but only if my dad self-audited himself every year until Grandpa died. After all that, I told my dad I didn’t want that ah at my wedding, but he insisted because He’S fAmIlY.”
“Anyways, he ended up saying no, because his gold digger wife didn’t want to travel. Then he got early onset Alzheimers. Gotta love karma.” – R4eth
Sometimes, making a scene is worth it.