Let's be real: there is nothing wrong with a person having a best friend of the opposite sex, of a different sexual orientation, or anything else.
What is important is that a person practices appropriate boundaries that they, their best friend, and their romantic partner can be comfortable with, pointed out the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor throw-away-2354 had never had a problem with his girlfriend's male best friend. In fact, he was deeply in love with his girlfriend and always felt like her best friend respected him.
So when the Original Poster (OP) walked in on his girlfriend in bed with her best friend, after weeks of her acting strange, he was nothing short of totally and completely shocked.
He asked the sub:
"AITAH for kicking my girlfriend out of my house after I found out she cheated with her male best friend?"
The OP had an amazing relationship with his girlfriend for almost three years.
"I (25 Male) met my girlfriend (24 Female) almost three years ago at a mutual friend's game night."
"We bonded over our shared love of board games and long walks, and everything just clicked. It felt like I'd found someone who really understood me; she was kind, funny, and supportive."
"We started dating not long after that night, and things moved pretty quickly. Within six months, we were spending nearly every weekend together, and after a year, I asked her if she would move in with me, and she agreed."
"Life was good; she was everything I thought I wanted in a partner. We spent evenings cooking together, binge-watching shows, and talking about the future: getting a pet, maybe even traveling abroad for a few months once we saved up enough."
"I genuinely thought she might be the one I'd end up marrying."
But their relationship had recently begun to go downhill.
"But in the past few months, things started feeling different. She seemed distant, often distracted during our conversations, and she started spending a lot more time with her best friend, John (26 Male)."
"Now, I never had an issue with John; they'd known each other for years, and he was always respectful toward me. He was the kind of friend you wouldn't think twice about."
"But lately, she was always at his place, or he'd drop by late at night when I was working my night shifts. I started feeling like a third wheel in my own relationship."
"I tried bringing it up a couple of times, asking if everything was okay between us, and she'd reassure me that I was overthinking. She'd say that John was like a brother to her, that they'd been through a lot together before she met me, and that it was nothing more than friendship."
"I wanted to believe her, so I let it go."
But then the OP discovered what had been so off about their relationship.
"Last week, I had a long night shift at work, and I called her before I left to let her know I'd be working late and that she shouldn't wait up."
"She sounded a little off but told me she'd probably just have a quiet night in. I thought nothing of it."
"But as it turned out, I managed to finish my work earlier than expected. I figured I'd surprise her and spend some extra time together in the morning. I even picked up breakfast from her favorite bakery on the way home, hoping it'd be a nice way to start the day."
"When I got home, though, I noticed John's car parked outside. My heart sank a little. I hadn't expected anyone to be there, especially that late. But I tried to stay calm, thinking that maybe he just needed to crash for the night."
The OP was shocked by what he discovered.
"I quietly let myself in, not wanting to wake them if they were sleeping on the couch or something."
"But as I walked down the hallway towards my bedroom, I heard voices: her voice and John's, followed by muffled laughter. I pushed the door open, and there they were: together in bed, caught completely off guard by me standing there."
"The look on her face was pure shock, like she never expected me to be there."
"John scrambled to grab his clothes, mumbling something I didn't even catch, while my girlfriend started crying, pleading for me to let her explain."
"But I couldn't even process what I was seeing. I felt like my whole world had just fallen apart."
The discovery was an immediate dealbreaker for the OP.
"I told them both to get out. John rushed out, and she followed me down the hall, begging me to stay and talk."
"I drove around for hours, trying to make sense of everything. When I eventually went back to my house to grab a few things, she was still there, sobbing and trying to convince me that it was a mistake."
"But I just couldn't hear it. I told her it was over and that she needed to leave my house."
"Now, she's been calling and texting constantly, saying she's sorry and that she still loves me. But I can't shake the image of them together, and I don't know if I can ever trust her again."
"Some of our mutual friends are saying that I overreacted, that I should have stayed and let her explain before kicking her out, especially since we were together for so long. They think I might have thrown away a good relationship over one bad mistake."
"But honestly, I don't think I could have stayed calm enough to hear her out."
"So, AITAH for kicking my girlfriend out?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You're the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some sided with the OP and said that cheating was not a "mistake" or "accident."
"NTA. Cheating is not a mistake. She made a conscious choice to cheat." - Lindensorry
"She had sex with her 'best friend' countless times for months. It wasn't a mistake, it is what she wanted." - Emptylord98
"If it was a one-off mistake, then the whole situation doesn't sit well with that idea. She acted off when he said he was working late, called her affair partner over, and they were chilling and giggling in bed."
"None of that shouts one-off mistake to me!" - Square-Dimension1528
"NTA."
"By the way, your girlfriend (or soon-to-be-ex, I hope) is only sorry that she got caught cheating on you, NOT for actually doing the deed and at the same time breaking your heart and trust."
"Your friends suck, OP, so be sure to ask if they would be telling you, you're wrong had they been cheated on?" - Narrow_Guava_6234
"NTA, OP."
"I don't get John's point of view, though. You're sleeping with your friend who is in a relationship, and you both get caught. And she begs to stay in the original relationship? Doesn't that mean she didn't choose you? Instead she chose OP, and how does that work in a cheating scenario?"
"Both guys should definitely bounce. I really don't understand the 'it was a mistake; I'm sorry' bit. You didn't like your partner enough, why would you stay with them? Status quo? Security? Laziness to find a new place to live? I guess all valid reasons." - HungryPupcake
Others pointed out that it's easier to discuss forgiving cheating than to actually forgive it.
"You already know the answer. NTA. Anyone who disagrees, tell them that you look forward to them forgiving and taking back their exes when they get cheated on." - Lazy-Wind244
"For real, what are with these s**tty friends that think that a partner should forgive a cheater? Projecting bast**ds, they are hardly friends."
"I say flame the ex and John on social media, don't let them hide and get off scot-free, burn their a**es, and move on to something better. I hate people who cheat."
"Also, by 'flame them,' I mean tag the parents, the siblings, the employers, every d**ned person in their lives that are involved with them that might be interested in their character. Or lack thereof." - Forerunner93
"OP should put anyone disagreeing on the spot and ask them for detailed elaboration on what would be acceptable."
"Do they believe it was just one mistake?"
"What do they personally think is the line between a mistake and unforgivable betrayal is? Just the tip? One round? A four-hour f**kfest?"
"Is it okay because she felt bad while giving you over-enthusiastic sloppy seconds at some point in the week his little swimmers were still wandering around inside her after any given time they f**ked in your house?"
"Can they provide evidence it wasn't the whole relationship in defense of her?"
"Maybe they're so sure this was a single mistake that you interrupted the very start of and they will personally put $1000 on the line for her to take and pass a polygraph test?" - Prudii-Skirata
"The people who suggested that the OP forgive his ex-girlfriend's behavior aren't friends, and I bet they all knew, so that's why they have this reaction. OP was the poor sucker who knew last." - hin_inc
"How the f**k is ending a relationship after catching your girlfriend/boyfriend in YOUR house having sex with someone else in YOUR BED an overreaction?"
"How is that considered thrown a good relationship? A mistake? I'm pretty sure she made that mistake a couple of times for months!"
"OP, get rid of her and those s**tty friends too. Find friends with decency and morals. Don't forget, you heard her laughing when you entered the house. She wasn't crying that she loved you or that she was sorry, only when she realized she had been caught."
"NTA." - Cautious-Flow5918
The subReddit deeply empathized with the OP's situation and could not believe that he had any friends encouraging him to reconsider his reaction to finding his girlfriend in bed with anyone, let alone the person she claimed was "like a brother" and who he had come to trust.
Whether this affair was a long-term thing or not, it was clearly time for the OP's ex to explore her feelings with John and for the OP to find someone who respected him enough to date him and him alone.
Humiliated Redditor Ditches Friend's Birthday After She Publicly Mocks Them In Front Of Everyone
Fake people tend to show their true colors during pivotal moments, like weddings and major celebrations.
But when they want an audience to hurt someone else, it takes total sense that they would be called out in front of everyone, as agreed by members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit.
Redditor HollyyGinger went to their close friend's birthday party, expecting to have a good time and celebrate their loved one's special day.
But when their close friend made several mocking comments about them, and the party laughed along with them, the Original Poster (OP) took that as an indication of the state of their friendship and left the birthday party early.
They asked the sub:
The OP was excited to celebrate their close friend's birthday.
"One of my close friends had a birthday dinner last weekend, and I was genuinely excited to go."
"I helped her organize a few things beforehand, bought her a gift, and even rearranged some plans because I wanted to be there for her."
But the birthday dinner did not go at all how the OP expected.
"During dinner, though, she started making little jokes about me in front of everyone."
"At first, I laughed along because I didn't want to make things awkward on her birthday."
"But she kept going. She joked about dating life, brought up an embarrassing story I had told her privately, and made another comment about how I'm ''way too sensitive' sometimes."
"People were laughing, and I tried to act like it didn't bother me, but honestly, I felt pretty humiliated."
The OP tried to ask their friend to change the direction of the rest of the party.
"I quietly asked her when we were alone if she could stop making me the joke of the evening."
"She rolled her eyes and said I was taking everything too seriously and that everyone knew she was joking."
"I went back to the table for a while because I really didn't want to ruin her birthday."
"But then she made another joke about me, so I decided I'd had enough. I congratulated her again, said goodbye to everyone, and went home without making a scene."
The OP's friend tried to blame them for how the evening turned out.
"The next morning, she texted me, saying she was hurt that I left early and that several people noticed."
"She said that I made her feel like she had done something horrible when she was 'just having fun.' But her having fun was more of a public embarrassment to me."
"Now I feel guilty, because it was her birthday, and maybe I could have just ignored it for another hour or two."
"I wasn't trying to punish her or make the night about me. I just didn't want to sit there smiling while someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I had specifically asked her to stop."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she didn't have to stay at a party where she didn't feel welcome.
"She was having fun. You were not having fun."
"You’re not overreacting. You told her it was hurting you, and she kept doing it because hurting you was entertaining for her. She is not a good friend." - Dunquinn-
"I remember when I was really little, a bunch of adults were laughing at me as I cried."
"I cried to my mom, 'Stop laughing at me,' to which she replied, 'We aren’t laughing at you; we're laughing with you,' while giggling."
"My response was something I stand by to this day: 'Then why am I the only one crying?!'"
"It’s only funny if the person who’s being teased is laughing too. You weren’t laughing. It wasn’t funny; it was cruel. NOR." - XSmartypants
"She’s a bully. It wasn’t 'more like 'it was publicly embarrassing. It WAS publicly embarrassing."
"Then she tells you that SHE is embarrassed because YOU left early. That's bulls**t."
"NOR. Drop her." - WTH_JFG
"NOR. They make jokes about someone's privacy to humiliate that person. Anyone who would use info that was shared in confidence to get a laugh is an abuser. You don't do that, especially to a close friend, without the intent to hurt that person." - BungenessKrabb
"Would it have been fun if you did the same? Start telling her darkest secrets?"
"She made you into a punchline for other people’s entertainment."
"You told her to stop, and she didn’t; now she’s the victim?"
"NOR."
"But also, some people need to feel it to believe it. I hope you go to the next gathering with a few stories of your own and don’t let her rewrite the narrative." - beached_not_broken
"I’ve had it happen by my 'best friend' at the time, only it was in a professional setting event. Very personal details only she knew, all spilled for her amusement, embarrassing me in front of colleagues."
"NOR, OP. As you did, I left the gathering earlier than expected. My 'friend' called the next day asking why I left so early. I told her what she had said and done and how humiliated I felt."
"Her 'apology' was that flippant version that shows no remorse, like, 'Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.'"
"Over the subsequent years, she managed to alienate and burn bridges with most of those same people we were gathered with."
"I’m sorry this happened to you, OP. Anyone who thinks you were 'too sensitive' has no empathy and 'friends' like that don’t deserve your time." - Hungry_Tank9182
"NOR. She was being a jerk to you, and she was expecting you to just take it and not say anything or defend yourself."
"Because they think it's sooo funny to mock others, but I bet if the roles were reversed, she would be offended and upset."
"Honestly, you deserve better friends. I'm sorry you had to deal with this."
"I would've left and blocked her." - Cryslove
Others urged the OP to stop thinking about the event and let that friendship go.
"That was the point of her fun! Humiliating you with an audience!"
"Sharing something deeply personal, told in confidence? Immediate dealbreaker."
"She is not (and likely never was) your friend. Friends do not treat friends with such disrespect. Block her, and go no contact. She brings nothing good to your life, and she’s not worthy of your energy and time."
"NOR." - MizPeachyKeen
"It’s called bullying. She is not your friend. Friends don’t humiliate their true friends, or tell them 'they are too sensitive.'"
"That is what bullies do. She keeps you around to put you down and make herself look or feel better."
"Her actions, attitude, and behavior are those of an immature high schooler. She could actually be jealous of you and not want one or all of the following: you to succeed, have more friends, feel better about yourself, look better, etc."
"Please slowly distance yourself, find new hobbies and activities with more mature, well-rounded, healthy people." - Freeling_Fab_U_lous
"How DARE you spoil her fun; didn't you know that part of your gift was letting her make you the butt of her jokes? (sarcastic comment)"
"What an awful person. No one should need to put others down to raise themselves up. She doesn't deserve the title of friend, to be honest. You showed much more grace than I would have managed." - tphatmcgee
"She was using you as her punching bag to make the others attending laugh. Probably thinking you’d just take it. That’s not a good friend. NOR." - Additional-Start9455
"'Someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I asked them to stop.' NOR."
"First, you shouldn't have had to ask her to stop because a friend wouldn't have started in the first place. One of her 'jokes' was about you being sensitive, so she knew you didn't like it and did it anyway."
"Second, you asked her privately to stop, because you didn't want to embarrass her. Think about that. You didn't want to embarrass her. But she couldn't show you the same consideration, even after being asked to stop."
"That's not how I treat my friends, and I suspect that's not how you treat your friends, either." - calminthedark
"I would have answered her text that she's a s**tty friend and to f**k off. You have class."
"I probably would have made a comment at dinner that I asked her to stop with the insults."
"NOR. You did everything right." - Particular-King218
The subReddit was disappointed on the OP's behalf that a friendship they were so committed to, they were excited to celebrate their friend's birthday and even helped plan the event, came apart at their expense, and on very public terms.
If the friend didn't want to be "embarrassed," maybe she should have thought about how she was embarrassing others first.