Giving someone a gift you know they really want is a major feel-good moment. When you have to save and work hard t make that happen you anticipate even more how happy they will be when you give it to them.
Redditor Mythrowaway2628 saved up to give his girlfriend a big gift but it didn’t go as planned. He looked to the “Am I The *A**hole” (AITA) subreddit for judgement on his girlfriend, and his own, reaction.
“AITA for giving my GF phone to my sister and scolding her?”
The OP (original poster) explained the girlfriend gift drama.
“It was my girlfriend’s (23) birthday and I (25M) got her an iPhone 12 pro, as she has been wanting one for a while, so I saved up and it was VERY expensive. When I surprised her with it I was expecting her to be excited, but instead, she told me that she wanted a black one, not a white one.”
“The thing is she never told me she wanted a black one, she just always said she wanted the phone itself. When I told her I didn’t know, she told me that I ruined her birthday and just left.”
“I was honestly in shock and disbelief that she was that upset about a phone color. I didn’t know what to do with the phone and planned on taking it back, but I remember my sister (19) just had a baby and unfortunately had to drop out of college to find a job.”
“I decided that I was going to give the phone to her since the phone she had was not working anymore. I told her that I would give the phone to her, but I still had to check if my girlfriend changed her mind.”
“So I texted her saying: ‘This is your last chance to change your mind about the phone because I plan on giving it to my sister.’ and she just texted me back: ‘I don’t care.’ I asked her one last time and again, she said: ‘I told you I don’t care.’ so that was that.”
“A few hours later I was in bed when my GF came in and asked me where was her phone and I told her: ‘I thought you didn’t want it? I’m sorry but it’s too late now I already gave it to my sister.’”
“She got angry and started shouting at me saying that she thought I was joking and that it was HER phone so I had no right to give it away and started stomping her feet saying she wanted her phone back right now.”
“I lost my cool and told her: ‘You are an adult behaving like a child who didn’t get their way. I asked you twice if you wanted the phone and you said no now, please stop behaving like a toddler.’”
“She stomped her way out of the room and texted me that I was a jerk and now all of her friends are ganging up on me so now I’m wondering if I’m TA.”
OP added an additional comment to help readers understand.
“We have been dating for 2 years and the only time she has acted like was when she got upset when we had to cancel trips because of the COVID, but she blamed on her period and me not knowing much about menstrual cycles I just believed her.“
Redditors were asked to pass judgement by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided this boyfriend was NTA but his girlfriend sure was.
“NTA – Your girlfriend rejects your very generous gift three times and then has the audacity to get angry when you give it to someone who not only could benefit from it but does actually need a phone to replace their broken one.”
“Save yourself the trouble. Things are only going to get worse from here.”~airazaneo
“NTA You know you can exchange the Iphone for a different color as long as it hasn’t been activated (within like 14 days). Also once you put a case on it you can hardly see the color anyway.”
“Have neither of you ever had Iphones before? Regardless the GF is a nutcase and you have some hard decisions to make about that relationship. And YAY for the sister- I’ll bet she appreciated your lovely gift.”~blueberryxxoo
“NTA, and please consider breaking up. Your gf is completely dismissive of all the effort that must have gone into buying the phone because of something she never even specified.”
“She then proceeds as if she was the one being wronged and turns the blame onto you, but somehow still stakes claim on the phone after basically tossing it aside. I honestly think it’s great karma that the phone found someone actually deserving.”
”OP, this is a metric sh*tload of red flags, consider ending your relationship with her, she’s toxic. NTA.”~shtoopee
“Periods don’t give anyone an excuse to treat others horribly, and the fact that she’s incapable of taking any sort of responsibility for her actions is a red flag. You were EXTREMELY generous with your gift – and she did not appreciate it in the slightest, and was actually extremely rude to you by saying ‘you ruined her birthday.’
“‘My SO completely ruined my birthday with the stupid gift he got me!! I cannot BELIEVE they’d get me an iPhone.. IN THE WRONG COLOUR!! They ruined EVERYTHING :c’”
“See how ridiculous and shallow that sounds? NTA, but you’re gonna be an A H to allow yourself to be stomped on like a doormat.”~F0xFr33k
“NTA. Friend…not to be mean but I’d reconsider that relationship. You seem like a caring dude (I know the iPhone must have been super expensive) and getting UPSET by the color (which btw she could change worst-case scenario) is just…wrong. She doesn’t appreciate you, find someone who will!”~Any-Seesaw-3475
“OP, are you dating a 6 year old? NTA. And this post has so many huge red flags. 1) expected an expensive gift, 2) wasn’t grateful for the gift, 3) sulked and didn’t communicate, 4) now is turning everyone against you.”~crystallz2000
A little appreciation would have gone a long way for this girlfriend. Sounds like OP gifted the nice phone to someone who cold use and truly be thankful for it.