Even in 2022 the LGBTQIA+ is still struggling with prejudice.
Yes it is easier to come out and be your self more today than 20 years ago.
But there are still people who refuse to be accepting.
And can lead to a lot of drama.
Case in point…
Redditor Special_Print_7232 wanted to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for humiliating my aunt in front of my family after she assumed that albinism is a sexually transmitted disease?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (21 M[ale]) was invited to a family gathering yesterday, to which I brought my boyfriend (22M) of around 8 months.”
“Some of my family members are still lowkey homophobic and this includes my aunt (42 F[emale]) from my mother’s side.”
“She only knew that I’m gay and hasn’t met my boyfriend till now.”
“But when she saw him, she quickly grabbed me and took me into a corner to talk in private.”
“There, she asked me why the hell would I bring such an unholy and lifeless looking person here?”
“And that she’s afraid he might be possessed and intending to harm our family.”
“I told her that my boyfriend isn’t possessed and that he only looks like that cause of he has albinism.”
“She then asked me ‘Oh, is this like, a STD for gay guys?”
“I won’t lie, I got pretty annoyed at how she formulated that question.”
“But I still explained to her what albinism actually is, aka a genetic disorder where a person has less melanin than usual in their body.”
“Which makes them have white hair and very pale skin (like my boyfriend).”
“I explained to her that people are born with this disease, it’s not contagious and it’s not a STD.”
“She seemed to understand, so I decided to drop the subject.”
“However, at dinner, she suggested (in front of the entire family no less) that we should join her church in order to ‘wash our sins’ and ‘try to get to the right path.'”
“And then she turned to my boyfriend and said ‘However, I’m afraid that not even our church can cure your unholy STD.'”
“My boyfriend looked embarrassed (and also confused) and I just snapped at her and told her ‘I told you already know, albinism isn’t a STD and maybe you would’ve known that if just once in your life you would’ve opened a book other than the Bible.'”
“Some of my family members started snickering, which made my aunt cry and quickly run away from the dinner, with my uncle following after her.”
“Me and my boyfriend got up and were on our way out, as we didn’t want to be part of this circus any longer.”
“But my mom stopped me and said that my comment was really out of line.”
“I pointed out to her that my aunt’s homophobic behavior started all of this.”
“And while my mom said that while she was definitely in the wrong as well, my comment not only insulted her, but also insulted their religion and that we both owe each other an apology.”
“I wasn’t in the mood to have yet another conversation with her and so I just decided to leave.”
“My boyfriend obviously isn’t very keen to go to other of my family gatherings, especially cause now he’s afraid that my family will keep assuming that he has an STD.”
“I’m still very mad with my aunt and I don’t even want to speak with her, much less apologize to her.”
“But I know my mom and her are really close and she would be upset if we don’t end up making amends with each other.”
“Should I just suck it up and apologize to my aunt and hope that she’ll do do as well?”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. Bigoted people don’t get a pass for poor behavior; they should be called out on it.”
“Your aunt brought this on herself. Let her stew.” ~ Aunty_Fascist
“The bible has Albinism in it, which proves the Aunt does NOT read the bible, but picks what she presents as her beliefs.”
“Next time OP meets the Aunt it would be fun for him to point out about Noah ,possible Albinism, and definitively the Edomites and Essau had it.”
“Think all that bible study I did as a kid paid off for OP.”
“Imagine the Aunt hearing about Noah being an Albino…. her pearls will be clutched tight them.” ~ OriginalDogeStar
“NTA. You corrected her once already, in private, and she chose to disregard it and make a very public, embarrassing scene.”
“You do not owe her an apology but she owes you and your boyfriend one.” ~ blucougar57
“People like OP’s Aunt can dish it but she can’t take it.”
“She is a bible thumper that abuses her religion in order to oppress others.”
“In actuality, she disrespects her own religion.”
“Tell your mom, OP, that your Aunt passed judgement.”
“God then used your body as a vessel to smite her with words.”
“If she then pesters you about this, follow up by asking her does she question the word of God?!”
“Lol. NTA.” ~ stop_spam_calls
“NTA.
“AITA? Should I just suck it up and apologize to my aunt and hope that she’ll do do as well?”
“I don’t think these two things are related.”
“You clearly aren’t TA; but whether you should offer any type of apology or not is entirely up to you.”
“If it was me? I would 110% do a non-apology apology.”
“That basically relists out everything she did wrong, while apologizing that you weren’t the ‘bigger person.'”
“But that’s me, because I’m that kind of a**hole.” ~ SDstartingOut
“I’m a Christian and her behaviour was abhorrent.”
“If she took her nose out of her own sphere and looked around a bit, she would know better.”
“You were not out of line and you defended your boyfriend exactly as you should have.”
“If she didn’t want her bigotry, ignorance and hate to be called out in front of the family, she shouldn’t have been bigoted, ignorant and hateful in front of them! NTA.” ~ Agreeable_Space2759
“NTA alright so let’s take out the fact your bf has albinism.”
“Even if your bf had an STD that she could somehow tell by looking at him.”
“She already had a private conversation with you so I don’t understand why she felt the need to bring it up again but this time in front of everyone?”
“She literally started it.”
“Had she not kept up with the whole ‘STD’ thing none of this would’ve happened.”
“So you are definitely not the asshole and to be honest I wouldn’t apologize.”
“You did nothing wrong if you can’t handle the heat stay out of the kitchen.”
“She’s allowed to judge and berate your ‘lifestyle’ so why can’t you defend not only yourself but your boyfriends too.” ~ Thirtydownb
“NTA, your aunt is a grade A idiot.”
“Albinism is an STD, LMAO!!!”
“I would have been so scathing if someone actually said that in front of me.”
“Your book comment was spot on.”
“Make sure you laugh hysterically any time a family member suggests that you were an AH.”
“And then remind them that Google existed before your aunt outed herself as a moron.” ~ fleshcoloredbanana
“NTA. And I do not believe you owe her an apology, quite the opposite, she should be the one apologizing.”
“You did nothing wrong and had every right to respond to her at the dinner table.”
“I’m sorry you went through this and I would absolutely minimize any contact with her from here on out.”
“Neither you or your boyfriend need that kind of negativity in your life.”
“You need to be around people that support you.” ~ oftheocean13
“NTA. Your aunt f**king suuucks.”
“Although your mum is understandably pissed because your attack on your aunt did splash back at her.”
“Like, if you want to come off this as a saint, I would apologise to everyone EXCEPT your aunt.”
“Specifically about the implication that she’s homophobic.”
“Because of her religion since clearly other ‘good Christians’ aren’t homophobic.”
“And that you would apologise to her IF she apologises to you and your boyfriend about saying that his genetic condition is an STD, when it’s straight up not the truth.”
“Good luck!”
“I have deep sympathies with you having to navigate this bulls**t as a fellow queer person with religious extended family.” ~ petrichorInk
“NTA.”
“Your aunt was ignorant to it even after you told her what albinism is and refused to believe anything other than what she had already made up in her mind.”
“It’s very difficult for people like her to change her mind once it is made up.”
“I have dealt with several people like her in my life and it is quite difficult for them to see the truth and takes a long time.”
“Should she apologize, yes! Should you?”
“Only if you feel it is truly necessary for you to apologize for defending your partner.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong by defending him, and if your family can’t see that then there needs to be a serious conversation had.” ~ Lemon_Book03
Reddit has spoken clearly and OP should feel free to live however he wants.
Maybe it’s time to get Auntie some therapy.
Good luck to OP and his BF.