Having a roommate can be a fun, memorable experience, but because there are shared spaces, there have to be some rules.
Otherwise, someone’s going to get embarrassed, admitted the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Tired_Palpitation felt bad when he accidentally saw his roommate’s girlfriend naked, embarrassing her.
But the Original Poster (OP) was not prepared for his roommate’s reaction to the accident.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for accidentally seeing my roommate’s girlfriend naked?”
The OP infrequently saw his roommate or the roommate’s girlfriend.
“I’m a medical student, and to make ends meet I share an apartment with my roommate, whom I’ll be calling Adam (not his real name).”
“He’s also a student in the same university, but in different fields (he’s coursing in civil engineering). That being said, we never had problems before in the three years we’ve been sharing the apartment.”
“In truth, I spend most of my time in the school hospital from our university and only really go home to sleep, or spend the weekend. I believe this is the reason we don’t have many issues.”
“Anyhow, Adam has been in a relationship with his girlfriend for the past two years. I barely exchanged more than a few words with her since we don’t really see each other that often, but she seems like a nice girl.”
The OP typically had a set schedule.
“This weekend, I had the option of accompanying a professor of mine and his residents in their night shift in the ER.”
“As you would assume, that’s a golden opportunity to learn and there was absolutely no way I could pass that up. Thus, I made some arrangements and was able to be on their shift.”
“This shift started at midnight and ended at noon on the next day, on Friday/Saturday and Sunday/Monday.”
“As you would expect, that was definitely different from my usual schedule, which is eight to eight, due to classes and some extra internships.”
The couple wasn’t expecting him to be home.
“This past Monday, I was exhausted after shadowing them and helping them out for their whole shift, and just wanted to get home and collapse on my bed.”
“As I was just getting home, I thought I would eat something before sleeping.”
“That’s when I went to the kitchen, to be surprised with the image of Adam’s girlfriend butt naked drinking something.”
“As you would imagine, both of us were quite startled, and I immediately turned around and went to the living room apologizing like crazy.”
“There was no way for me to know she was there, it was an accident. I didn’t hear anything, only the door for his room closing up after she ran there.”
“Well, it’s a delicate situation and I understand the embarrassment.”
The OP had a surprise waiting for him when he woke up.
“Regardless, I was tired and even forgot to eat, just decided to go to bed. I slept like a brick, but when I woke up, I noticed many calls and messages from Adam.”
“I read through them, and they were essentially all asking where I was or if I was awake.”
“I left my room to talk to him after that, thinking something could have happened. Hoping he was alright.”
‘Well, here’s the thing, he wasn’t looking for me because of something he needed my help with.”
“He wanted to scream and shout at me, that I was an a**hole for not ‘telling him’ I was going to be home during the day. That I was an a**hole for coming that time and that I had embarrassed his girlfriend.”
“Now, I understand that the girl felt bad, but hey, this is my house, right?”
“Regardless, I wanted to know, AITA here?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Her
Some pointed out the rules of common areas.
“The nerve of this guy. When you live in a shared space, a roommate can show up at any time. Maybe they need their own space.” – Munbeam19
“OP should just say ‘hey new rule, nobody walks around common areas naked, not paying tenants or guests, just nobody be naked’. Problem solved!” – seafareral
“NTA. Basic house rule 101: if you don’t want people to see you naked, don’t walk around naked. How difficult is that?”
“You are his roommate, not his kid: you don’t have to report to him when you’ll be home. This is your place as much as his.” – MaybeAWalrus
Others pointed out the girlfriend was naked in someone else’s house.
“Who walks around naked with a roommate situation going on? It’s his apartment too and he doesn’t need to explain why or when he’s going to be home. NTA.” – AtlasFalls91
“I mean, not only is it his place just as much as the roommates but it is also NOT even her place.”
‘Imagine walking around someone else’s apartment naked and then your boyfriend being furious your roommate had the audacity to return to his own apartment without first informing your boyfriend?” – NPE37
“NTA. Nothing is your fault, at all!”
“She was naked in a common area of the house, unless it’s agreed upon, upfront, and everyone is consenting to that, it’s complete bulls**t on their part.”
“Like, Adam’s girlfriend just shouldn’t be walking around naked in someone else’s place.”
“Adam is then having a childlike tantrum meltdown over an issue he and his girlfriend caused.”
“He allowed her to walk around naked. If he didn’t want people seeing her in the kitchen naked, all he had to do was tell her to put on a dressing gown/bathrobe or something outside of his bedroom.”
‘Now you saw her naked. You’re adults. No big deal. Brush it off and laugh about it later like adults.”
“Finally, WTF (what the f**k) is up with him expecting you to report to him? GTFO (get the f**k out of) here with that noise.”
“You pay rent and live there, you have all the rights he does. You are not beholden to him. He’s not your parent or your landlord or your caretaker.”
“To put that in perspective, ask him to report to you on all his comings and goings. Do you think he’ll do it? Do you think he’ll protest?”
“The simplest answer is the most obvious. Adam’s girlfriend is not on the lease (I assume) so either she doesn’t come around anymore, or she keeps her naked a** in his room.”
“Coz all the drama is started by them alone. You just happen to be there.” – Sirix_8472
Some made suggestions about giving the roommate a schedule.
“NTA, it sounds like he’s taking advantage of your schedule to have his girlfriend over enough times to feel comfortable enough to walk around naked.” – yellowish_alien
“Tell him, ‘This is my home too and I will come and go as I please. My schedule is unpredictable, so your guests should be clothed in the common areas if they don’t want to be seen naked.'” – ScubaCC
“Instead of OP giving the roommate a list of all the times he will be in his own apartment, perhaps the roommate could just give OP a list of the times that his girlfriend will be walking naked through common areas. That’s got to be a shorter list, right?” – Retlifon
While the OP felt kind of bad about embarrassing his roommate’s girlfriend, the subReddit thought they should have seen it coming.
How many times did the girlfriend visit that she was comfortable enough to walk around naked in a shared space? Surely they must have realized the possibility of being walked in on?