Whether or not we want to admit it, we’ve likely all been hurt badly enough by someone that we either imagined what we would say to them, how we would take revenge on them, or how they would come to their senses and apologize to us, if we ever saw them again.
But unfortunately or not, most of us don’t get the opportunity to get closure with the people who hurt us the most, empathized the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
More than two decades after his fiancée cheated on him and got pregnant with another man’s child, Redditor SpecificDirector1785 felt like he had the perfect opportunity for revenge.
But considering the implications of the whole situation, even the Original Poster (OP) knew that he was in the wrong for using the opportunity to his advantage.
He asked the sub:
“AITAH… Who am I kidding, I am definitely the AH for sleeping with my ex-fiancé’s affair baby 23 years later.”
The OP’s world fell apart in the months leading up to his wedding day.
“About 24 years ago, my (now 45 Male) then-fiancée, Ella (then 20), told me she was pregnant.”
“I was over the moon. We did not set a wedding date yet, but now we wanted to wait until the child was two or three to be part of the wedding party.”
“When she was about seven months pregnant, my world shattered.”
“A ‘friend’ named Luke told me that the child was his and not mine. This led to a physical fight, and Ella took his side.”
“We were done. I broke up with her right there. She moved in with Luke.”
“I did demand a paternity test. If the child was mine, I demanded to be in their life. After the birth of the girl, the test was done twice, first by a clinic I chose and then by one she chose. It turned out she was not mine.”
“I was destroyed and left town. She could have her life, but I didn’t want to witness it or be present.”
Much later, the OP met his ex’s incredibly bitter daughter.
“A month ago, my work brought me back to my hometown temporarily for two weeks.”
“I ran into Ella with her daughter, Nicky (23), at an impromptu school reunion.”
“Ella wanted to catch up. I wasn’t angry anymore, but I also did not see the point of being friends. I declined and mingled. After a while, I sat at a table alone, sipping on a drink.”
“Ella had already left the event, and so then Nicky sat at my table. She asked for 10 minutes to talk.”
“She knew about my history with her mother. And it was clear that she resented her mother.”
“As it turned out… Luke was also not her biological dad. Ella cheated on me with at least two people. Nicky had her suspicions, so she completed a 23andme profile, and it revealed who the real bio dad was, but he had sadly passed away already.”
“When Nicky was seven, Luke found out and kicked them out. And it became a scandal. Nicky was bullied her whole life for being a disgusting affair baby. Luke’s family disowned her. All the cousins she was close with were gone all of a sudden.”
“She blamed her mother for all of it.”
“I asked her why she told me all of this.”
“She said that I am someone who would understand this betrayal. And she is a product of that betrayal. She said she did not expect anything from me, she just needed someone to talk to who would understand.”
The OP began to develop a relationship of sorts with Nicky.
“I felt for this kid, so we kept talking. We exchanged contact info and went our own ways.”
“The next day, she wanted to talk more and to vent more. So we met in the bar of the hotel where I was staying.”
“We had drinks and she ranted about her life. We talked until late, and when the bar closed, Nicky was too drunk to drive home, and since I didn’t know where she lived, I couldn’t even get her an Uber.”
“So I took her to my room. I have the habit of always getting a room with twin beds. So she slept in one bed and I slept in the other. Nothing happened. The next morning, we had breakfast and she left while I went to work.”
“For a few nights, I met Nicky in the bar because she had a lot to rant about. We also talked about her future and she expressed an interest in moving out of town to escape the stigma of being the affair baby.”
But then the OP saw an opportunity.
“Here is where I am the a**hole: I made a move on her one night.”
“At first, she walked away. I thought I blew it, so I went up to my room.”
“An hour later, she sent me a text asking if I was in my room. As soon as I answered with yes, she knocked on the door.”
“I was sober, she was sober, I had time to think, and I could have sent her away, but I didn’t.”
“This is the daughter of my ex-fiancé. If I had never found out Ella cheated, I would have raised Nicky as my own daughter. But I found out that Nicky is not my daughter, I never saw her as a baby, never saw her grow up, I never saw her as a daughter, the first time I saw her was a week ago.”
“So yes I slept with her, and then again.”
“Nicky is more vengeful than I am. She said she wanted to let her mother know, but she wasn’t going to do it if I didn’t want to.”
“I was okay with letting her know. It took a little time to think of how we would let her know.”
“We took a picture together, clearly in bed, clearly naked but covered by sheets, and she sent it as a one-time view picture to her mother via Instagram message with the caption, ‘I can finally call him Daddy.'”
This led to a massive argument.
“Ella called, and they got in a fight.”
“Then she got in a fight with me (still over the phone). I thought I was over the betrayal, but it seemed like I had bottled up everything and now it finally came out.”
“I had four more days there, and Nicky stayed in my hotel room those four days.”
“Now I’m back home. Nicky is currently packing everything, and she is going to move to another country to be away from her toxic environment. She will stay with me for a week, maybe more, before she flies away.”
“She has gone no contact with her mother. I have also blocked Ella on everything.”
“Yes, Nicky and I are both broken. I refused therapy for years, but after that one outburst where I told Ella everything that was bottled up, I decided that I do need therapy. I have suggested it to Nicky, she said when she is settled she will.”
“I’m not even going to ask if I’m the a**hole, I know I am.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some Redditors were shocked over the “Daddy” comment.
“‘I can finally call him Daddy.'”
“I have earned myself a special spot in the Bad Place for the guffaw I just guffed.” – whitrva
“I laughed way harder at ‘I can finally call him Daddy,’ than I should have. That being said, respect to her, because that is cold as f**k.” – 306ughmyknees
“I’m trying to think of a way I can get that line into my everyday life, but I’m struggling.” – ash894
“When I read, ‘I can finally call him Daddy,’ I straight-up yelled, ‘HOLY F**KING S**T.'” – NarrMaster
“I was reading this in the bath, and when I got to the ‘Daddy’ part, my jaw dropped and I almost drowned.” – Spiderjello
Others were super grossed out by certain aspects of the story.
“I mean, she’s clearly very vulnerable, and he took advantage of that by making the first move on this girl that could’ve possibly been his daughter at one point. It just reflects really badly on his character.”
“And it’s for ‘revenge,’ too. It’s just gross.” – marigoldCorpse
“He kept talking about how close he was to being her father and even said, ‘I felt sorry for this KID,’ and then still slept with her. Ew ew ew.” – Opera_haus_blues
“Yeah, you’re a total creep, OP. YTA.” – AdCorrect4921
“YTA, but you also sound like a loser, no offense. 24 years later, Ella is still on your mind? Like, you needed to hurt her after 24 years?”
“Yeah. You definitely need therapy because there’s no way I would still give a f**k about an ex from when I was in my early 20s enough to bother with any sort of revenge.”
“Grow up because you look lame as h**l. And stay single until you do grow up.” – sydjax
“Eww. Never have I ever wished I didn’t read a Reddit post as much as I do right now.” – AcceptableAthlete126
The subReddit was incredibly divided on this one, leaving some totally grossed out and others questioning what was so wrong with it.
Technically, since the OP was not in Nicky’s life until this work trip, there was no grooming involved, but there was still a massive age gap and the issue of how they were all socially connected through the OP’s almost-marriage.
Hopefully, the OP and Nicky got what they wanted from this experience and would be able to get the therapy and new experiences they needed to move on.
Hopefully, this would be the wake-up call to Ella that she needed about how actions have consequences, including how much those actions can hurt other people, even over multiple decades.