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Guy Threatens To Kick Spendthrift Girlfriend Out After She’s Short On Rent Two Months In A Row

Photo by Afif Kusuma on Unsplash

Living with someone is a large responsibility.  Being in charge of making sure the house stays clean and safe, all while paying bills on time and rent and maintaining a living space while working can really become a drain on your resources if you aren’t careful.

Redditor theneedhelpkind found it was unfortunately his own girlfriend (GF) who was causing a drain on his resources in the place they were living together.  After having to cover her rent more than once, he decided that was unacceptable.

Facing blowback from friends, he went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” for feedback from objective strangers:

“AITA for telling my GF to pay the rent?”

Our original poster, or OP, foregrounded some tension that has been arising between he and his girlfriend.

“Me (27M[ale]) and Shannon (28F[emale]) have been dating for one and a half years, while living together for the last 6 months.”

“We both work full time and split the bills right down the middle. This arrangement was working for the first few months. But the last few months we’ve had issues which has lead me here.”

“Shannon’s spending habits are worrisome to me. She likes to go out to fancy restaurants, has packages delivered constantly and has gone on multiple girls trips since we’ve moved in.”

“Last month she was short on the mortgage (my house she moved into) and I had to pay for it. I also pay for all of the joint activities (dates/groceries/wifi/tv) so it’s not like rent is a huge burden.”

“I told her this would be a one time thing and that she needs to curb her spending if she can’t cover her half. Well this month she tells me she is going to be short again. I ask her if something has happened or she got fired. She said no, that she is just short again.”

“I tell her that if she doesn’t pay this month then she needs to move out. She gets upset calling us a team and stuff. I say that this isn’t negotiable and she needs to sell some stuff and figure it out.”

“Friends are calling me an AH but I’m not comfortable doing it again. AITA?”

Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

Redditors think OP was well within his rights to tell his girlfriend to develop better spending habits.

“As exciting as it is to buy stuff for your new home, you HAVE to limit the spending. I get paid weekly so I pay a little bit on all my bills each week and give myself a generous $50.00 allowance for the week.”

“Everything else gets split between savings and chequing. NTA. Mind you, my fiancé fronted our down payment so for the next 2 years I’ll be paying the mtg myself but that’s the fairest way figured out how to work it.”-Financial_Mess_1397

“You’re in a a 50/50 relationship. Tell her you’re short next month, see her reaction. I’m short, if you haven’t got it we are homeless. Why can’t you spend?”

“You’re her boyfriend, not her dad. Tell her to grow up and start acting like an adult, and have some concern for others.”

“Tbh I hope she is short-term, at least then you can kick her out and find someone that respects you, and acts there age. 28 years old and short on rent because she can’t stay off amazon… girls trips… Jesus man!”-jaBroniest

“NTA. She needs to pull her own weight like an adult. Being a team means you cover for them when someone has an unavoidable, unexpected expense (car repair, hospital bill, etc) and they can’t cover their half.”

“Not when the other person is blowing their money and constantly unable to cover their half. She’s trying to set an expectation here that you will support her, and she will do whatever she likes with her money.”-grendigo

“NTA – It’s a sh*tty situation for sure but expecting someone to pay what is agreed upon is completely fair.”

“Being your girlfriend is no excuse to not pay up for bills accrued. Clearly, she’s bad with money. If she still falls short and you tell her to move out, that’s pretty much the end of the relationship.”

“If you don’t, she’ll almost certainly do it again.”-Pendragon_Compendium

People were saying OP’s girlfriend was likely taking advantage of him.

“NTA. You can’t let someone take advantage of you financially, just because they think it’s ok.”

“If you were married, things might be different depending on how you’ve chosen as a married couple to combine your finances or not.”

“She’s a grownup and should know what the priority should be financially. Always pay the rent/mortgage first. The have-to’s trump the want-to’s every time.”-lkwinchester

“You need to nip this in the bud now because it’ll be so much harder to do months down the line. I agree you are both a team and part of being a team player is meeting your committed obligations, something your GF seems not to fully understand.”

“From face value of the post it seems a discussion on the topic was had, an arrangement was made and the arrangement was a 50/50 split.”

“Your GF is now trying to unilaterally change that agreement to benefit her spending habits and that is not fair nor is it being a ‘team player.’ Don’t accept that.”

“Just because you are both in a relationship does not mean she gets to pick and choose when she pays her rent. NTA”-A-Purple-Lagoon

“NTA/ She has an over-spending problem if she can’t even handle her finance and demands her partners to bail her out.”

“Being a team means to both party contributes and help each other through the good time and the bad, not one party demands the other party to do all the contribution so she can have disproportional amount of good time spending it.”-ianwasted30

“NTA. You already told her the first time it can’t happen again, so you discussed it with her.”

“And she obviously makes enough money if she’s going on trips and buying things constantly, she just has bad money management skills and needs to grow up and not rely on a sugar daddy.”

“Kicking her out is a little extreme though, maybe offer to pay but that she has to pay you back AND pay the next month’s rent on time.”

“Though, I don’t blame you if you do kick her out. Money is one of the top reasons for a relationship failing.”-moremommapoorpoppa

And her tactics here were more manipulative than anything else.

“NTA. She’s being manipulative AF. She called you a ‘team’ but teams work together and support each other, they don’t use and take advantage of each other, which is exactly what she’s doing to you.”

“If she doesn’t want to pay her share of the mortgage/rent, then she needs to be forthright, tell you that, and give you a good reason why she shouldn’t have to anymore.”

“That’s what adults do: they negotiate a new deal when they aren’t happy with the current one. As it stands, she’s just not holding up her deal, and letting you pay for her.”

“Given that you’ve only been living together for 6 months, and this is already the SECOND time she’s done this, it doesn’t bode well.”-FoolMe1nceShameOnU

“Take/read/watch a financial course together and see if y’all can get on the same page- money is one of the biggest causes of fights in relationships.”

“I did Financial Peace University and I will tell you that it literally changed my life. (Or read Total Money Makeover- it outlines it.)”

“My boyfriend and I are well matched in this regard and it’s such a good feeling to not debate when to save/spend and all that mess.”

“All that to say NTA- if you’re a team then she needs to do her part.”-Metasequioa

“NTA. I was in a situation where I was barely making ends meet and couldn’t pay my full rent for a few months. I was the AH.”

“I respected my friend, former FWB/FB, and moved out asap because I was not in a stable position financially and he deserved that.”

“Flash forward two years and I now have a 1500 square foot flat in the middle of San Francisco to myself, if I wanted, and am financially stable. Had I continued to freeload I would have ruined a relationship/friendship and would never have gotten it together.”

“You would be doing her a favor by ending this relationship and forcing her to get her shit together or unloading your unequitable relationship for your own benefit.”-SifuHallyu

“NTA. Teams work together to meet their goal (i.e. bills paid). It’s one thing to financially struggle and need help to get back your feet.”

“It’s another thing to blow all your money before taking care your responsibilities. I would tell her that you don’t want this to be a sign of things to come and that she’s showing you she’s financially irresponsible. If she can’t get her sh*t together, she can go.”-amethystdreams21

If OP and his girlfriend can’t see eye to eye on this, it could very well be the beginning of the end of their relationship.

Hopefully a productive conversation with bring her on board, and get the rent back to fair game.

Written by Mike Walsh

Mike is a writer, dancer, actor, and singer who recently graduated with his MFA from Columbia University. Mike's daily ambitions are to meet new dogs and make new puns on a daily basis. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @mikerowavables.